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Old 11-12-2004, 07:14 PM   #1
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vintagegirl HB User
How do men show that they are hurt?

Someone just said in a recent thread that men get hurt too, but show it differently. I'm just curious about this statement...
Is it so different than the way women show their hurt feelings? I think women tend to be more dramatic and emotional.

I just recently ran into a guy that I'd had words with a few weeks ago. I thought we left our disagreement on a vague...but caring note.... He was at work, and I suppose I could rationalize that he was too "busy", but in the hour that I shopped, he did not seek me out to say hello. I had said hi to him with a wave and a group of people around. He waved back and did the same...but considering the gravity of our last exchange, I figured he would at least come up when he had the chance to say hey, how are you doing... without everyone else around. There were a few opportunities where I noticed he could, but did'nt. I thought that maybe he was still a little stung by our exchange...but maybe he just did'nt care or did'nt know what to say after everything we talked about...?? I don't know! Do men get quiet when they are hurt or don't know what to do next? Now I don't know if I should send along a friendly email, or if I should just leave him alone.

Last edited by vintagegirl; 11-12-2004 at 08:38 PM.

 
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Old 11-12-2004, 07:53 PM   #2
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Re: How do men show that they are hurt?

Interesting situation...

I think it depends on the guy... some get quiet and stand-offish, while others may be overly friendly in order to cover up how they're really feeling, at least that's what I've seen in my experiences.

I don't think there'd be anything wrong with sending a friendly email his way. May help things to make a little more sense!

I'm interested in seeing how guys respond to this question!

Last edited by Oceangal01; 11-12-2004 at 07:53 PM.

 
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Old 11-12-2004, 08:20 PM   #3
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Re: How do men show that they are hurt?

I think I was the one that made that comment. I have seen a show about the way men think and yes women are more complexed. My husband always said "you think I think too much". I did too. If he didn't say hi and you did then I would leave him alone. If he had opportunity to say more to you and didn't then what exactly are you wanting? If HE wanted to say more to you then I'm sure he would have. Your dwelling on it and he's probably thinking "oh that's nice that we waved to each other" and NOTHING more. So to him everything is fine. My opinion. Good luck with it.

 
Old 11-12-2004, 08:36 PM   #4
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Re: How do men show that they are hurt?

Well, we HAD to wave at one another...there were people standing around, watching us. It would have looked odd if we just stood there giving each other stink eye or doing nothing. We waved simultaneously. I don't have anything in particular that I wanted to hear him say. We have not communicated since our disagreement. I would have to say that even though the disagreement did not end on a hostile note, it was'nt really resolved. There were still some issues hanging out there. Regarding those, I came right out and said, I was'nt sure what to do next about it, but I was going to go with my gut and....blah, blah, blah. I would think that if he wanted to be sure that everything was on the up and up, he would have said something pleasant to me. Then again, if he never emailed back to tie up those loose strings, maybe I have my answer and should have expected exactly what I got when I saw him in person--nothing.

I am just curious about the statement that men act differently than women when hurt.

 
Old 11-12-2004, 11:05 PM   #5
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realguy HB User
Re: How do men show that they are hurt?

Sometimes we just simply don"t know how to react to the situation. Many guys say that they have had similiar situations happen over the years and got different results using the same mindset.There are so many types of women(as well as men). Sometimes it"s best to let it lie then to make it worse.

 
Old 11-13-2004, 08:00 AM   #6
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Re: How do men show that they are hurt?

I can't base my opinion on all men but when I used to show pain it would come out of fustration because I didn't want to show emotions. I was afraid for some reason to do that. In the past year though I have came down to realize its ok for a grown man to cry and I will. Many times I do still try to hide my emotion which causes stress and me to be short tempered. I will also work on little prodject to get my mind off things.

 
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