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Old 02-16-2005, 09:56 AM   #1
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What's a Friend to Do? Part II

She needs to open a new thread since the other one got to be too long. We left off on the strategies we need to reach gainful employment and to lessen the burden on the family. So Heartland....my lion, where are we on the road today????...Dorothy aka Goody

Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-14-2005 at 04:29 PM.

 
Old 03-14-2005, 04:43 PM   #2
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Re: What's a Friend to Do? Part II

Quote:
Originally Posted by goody2shuz
She needs to open a new thread since the other one got to be too long. We left off on the strategies we need to reach gainful employment and to lessen the burden on the family. So Heartland....my lion, where are we on the road today????...Dorothy aka Goody
This should get us back on track my friend.....and bring a smile to your face Now let's get on with the journey and update me with your progress since Friday.....

On the road again with a little stumbling block......Dorothy

 
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Old 03-14-2005, 07:35 PM   #3
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Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Hey, Red and Snails! Since Goody sorta has me locked up here in “voluntary” solitary confinement , it’s really great to have some visitors.

Stacy, I am really touched by you making the effort to seek me out to thank me. I’m very happy you found my posts helpful. For many months now, I’ve thought Patrick and you shared something very special and intense. The last time I saw your threads, things seemed to be progressing nicely again. I’m sorry the last few weeks have been so stressful for you but when you look back on it, you’ll realize that you two wouldn’t have grown this way if it weren’t for the stress. That’s easy for me to realize now because I’m experiencing the same thing in my situation.

Cindy, I wish your life was on a romantic upswing like Stacy’s is but I must say I greatly admire your determination to move forward and do the right things in spite of your hardships. That is the finest quality a person can have and you have loads. You have gained the respect of your coworkers by working with a pain in the asp. I will remember your fine example in my weaker moments. Good luck and, crikey, I hope you soon find the man that will make snakes a distant memory for you.

Red and Snails, I feel very lucky to have two fine friends like you. Thanks for your support!

Goody, all wise keeper of the thread… here’s my update. Sunday, I came down with my first cold since last winter and its pretty bad. I think the cold is due to my disrupted sleep pattern, as you noticed in my 4am post. Still, I’ve worked on Job One most of the weekend. I’ve talked to several more people and got more ideas and a better picture of my situation. When I felt blah, I’ve cleaned up in my office or did other home front tasks. I’ve avoided procrastination easily so far but the cold has zapped my energy for the moment. I hope to rework my resume tomorrow. My Tuesday meeting with the banker was changed to Thursday. He will review the resume then.

Concerning the boards… For all practical purposes, I have confined myself to this thread since Thursday. I’m starting to feel very disconnected from the Relationship board already because I’m losing touch with people’s lives. It seems more like moving away rather than moving on. I’m missing friendships but my situation doesn’t allow otherwise. (BTW, I plan to use the Exercise & Fitness board soon to ask some questions. I don’t see a problem here because I’ve never replied on others’ threads on those types of boards.)

Let me catch up on your questions…
I also need to know if Mrs. H has been requesting that you seek employment and for how long???? She said she didn’t say much until she noticed that I was getting less and less done each day. That was around November 2004.

Heartland’s plan:
No viewing or posting on any other threads. Under normal conditions, I will not post on other threads unless I’m the thread originator.

Posting will be limited to 2 hours daily on this thread only so long as it doesn’t interfere with other responsibilities, family life, or career. I plan to post no more than 14 hours weekly, which averages to no more than 2 hours daily. To produce posts like this, that means not posting daily.

On downtime, you will spend time tending to responsibilities on the home front and make it your #1 priority of seeking gainful employment. (By physically leaving your house and submitting at least 3-4 applications/day) When you find that you are facing a weak moment you are to immediately journal your feelings and seek comfort in reading your bible or other self help book. Normally you would call a friend, if you can line up someone off line to serve in this capacity that would be even better. This person would serve as your support offline and would also be the one that you would be accountable to. (Friend, priest but not Mrs. H) You must be willing to be completely honest with this person in order to be cured (addiction to Healthboards and work problems) Remember, the goal is to spend most of your time in the real world fulfilling your responsibilities to family, career, and daily activities in the household.
As you already know, my banker friend knows my situation. Other friends have been consulted about employment issues, too, so they know I’m seriously job hunting. Any weak moments can be vented through exercise, if need be, but there has been no sign of that yet.

That leaves the job hunt… After making the calls and meetings I’ve mentioned plus checking several regional employment databases and the newspapers, 3-4 applications daily for the better jobs within a 75 mile radius is unrealistic for more than a few days. (Please don’t “spin up” yet.) I am preparing applications now for jobs related to my skills and will check daily for more. I asked several friends, including the banker, what they would recommend to supplement those applications. They recommended making “cold calls”, that is, contacting targeted businesses to either meet with me or to put my resume on file. (They said this approach shows moxie and produces a synergy.) Local businesses will be contacted first and then the radius would expand. They said to expect a decent job to turn up within several months since they know that to be a common experience in this area. However, if I exhaust the targeted prospective employers in the region, then I should include lower paying jobs in my search. My wife agrees that this is a good approach for our situation. The banker will help me fine tuning this procedure to maximize my chances for success.

After learning the above, I began to realize that if I had marketed my business with a similar strategy and with the same advice and support I’m getting now, my business might have been successful. After Sunday’s story of the stone being rolled away, I thought that I should at least consider the option of applying the above principles to self-employment. I told my wife and called the banker about this; both were skeptical (Frankly, the way I feel today, so am I. ). However, they agreed to the following. In parallel with carrying out the job search plan, I have one week to prepare a self-employment proposal for them. (I had several ideas and if my cold clears up, I hope to refine them.) Both of them must agree that the self-employment plan is at least viable or it will be abandoned. The plan must include a crystal-clear outline of the business plan, remedies for all the problems with my last business, criteria for closing the business. As I said earlier, it sounded like a better idea yesterday when I felt inspired but this is a way of seeking closure for self-employment under the current circumstances.


Goody’s plan:
No viewing or posting on any other threads. Agreed.

Posting will be limited to 2 hours daily on this thread only so long as it doesn’t interfere with other responsibilities, family life, or career. Agreed.

On downtime, you will spend time tending to responsibilities on the home front and make it your #1 priority of seeking gainful employment. . . . . . Remember, the goal is to spend most of your time in the real world fulfilling your responsibilities to family, career, and daily activities in the household. Same as Heartland’s Plan. My wife and banker agree with me that to achieve 3-4 applications daily, the resulting job would most likely require a move. My wife wants me to try the “cold calls” plan before considering anything involving a move.


Goody, I promise to give this my best effort. I probably won’t have another long post until Friday.

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz… Oh, what a pain a cold is… -Heartland


PS: I hope your back is feeling better after the meds.

 
Old 03-14-2005, 07:55 PM   #4
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Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Hi....locked up, huh???? I appreciate your long post and update......would like the opportunity to respond in the way you deserve tomorrow since this girl is worn out from fighting the pain. It's going to be a long night and I cannot concentrate or give your post the time it so wonderfully deserves. I will probably be here most of tomorrow since I will be taking care of the back. If I am up during the night I may get a head start.....

Please forgive me......you have definitely proven to me that you are seriously heading in the right direction. Take you Nyquil and take care of the cold....Nurse Goody's orders. I am glad we're back here......voluntary "solidary confinement"????? You must remember that I am locked up with you as well Will our friendship survive????? I'll let you think on that one for a while

See you tomorrow my friend...BTW, I have no intention of losing your faith and friendship in me.......Goody

 
Old 03-14-2005, 11:23 PM   #5
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Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartlandguy
Hey, Red and Snails! Since Goody sorta has me locked up here in “voluntary” solitary confinement , it’s really great to have some visitors.

Stacy, I am really touched by you making the effort to seek me out to thank me. I’m very happy you found my posts helpful. For many months now, I’ve thought Patrick and you shared something very special and intense. The last time I saw your threads, things seemed to be progressing nicely again. I’m sorry the last few weeks have been so stressful for you but when you look back on it, you’ll realize that you two wouldn’t have grown this way if it weren’t for the stress. That’s easy for me to realize now because I’m experiencing the same thing in my situation.

Cindy, I wish your life was on a romantic upswing like Stacy’s is but I must say I greatly admire your determination to move forward and do the right things in spite of your hardships. That is the finest quality a person can have and you have loads. You have gained the respect of your coworkers by working with a pain in the asp. I will remember your fine example in my weaker moments. Good luck and, crikey, I hope you soon find the man that will make snakes a distant memory for you.

Red and Snails, I feel very lucky to have two fine friends like you. Thanks for your support!
Thanks so much for your kind words, Heartland . Things are indeed going very well for me again, and I truly feel as if you, Goody, Genster, and all the other wonderful people who helped with my situation are responsible in large part . Thanks once again to all of you. Heartland, I agree with you and feel quite fortunate that my life seems once again on the upswing and that the "downswing" was brief, temporary, and never really seemed permanent. While I would have preferred that Patrick address his concerns sooner and deal with them head on rather than retreating, I do think the space was ultimately beneficial to both of us and our relationship. It made him miss me, appreciate me more, and realize how he could be a better partner and help our relationship flourish more than he had been, and fortunately I experienced the same effects. We have talked everything out and resolved to learn from (and not repeat) the mistakes and choices which landed us in this situation to begin with. We both have renewed patience, interest, and acceptance toward each other, and I honestly feel like our relationship is much stronger than it was a month ago. The accident was unpleasant and has resulted in excess stress and pressure, but now that I am close to buying a car I adore, I am excited and relieved that I can finally put that event (and hopefully the family problems between Patrick and I which the accident seems to have represented in both our minds) behind me once and for all. I have also been accepted to several of my top graduate school choices, while I had thought I was doomed to be rejected everywhere when Patrick and I were having difficulties. I have now resumed contact with my friends and family, and everything just seems to be back on track in general. I really feel like I owe a lot of my recent contentment to you guys--without your support and advice, I don't think I would have dealt with so many problems at once nearly as calmly or effectively. And Genster, I am so sorry to hear you are in the same boat and hope you don't hesitate to rely on the great posters here to pull you through and overcome this tough stretch. Heartland, I have been thinking of you often and hoping that you are happy with your progress of late. I wish you and your wife all the best and will be honored to help anytime you need support. I think that's about it for now...sorry for the extended update, I guess I got a little carried away . It definitely feels a lot better to write about things that make me happy--I had a tough time typing out some of those posts when things with Patrick were at their most difficult...anyway, good luck Heartland and have a great week!!

 
Old 03-15-2005, 05:09 AM   #6
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Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartlandguy
Hey, Red and Snails! Since Goody sorta has me locked up here in “voluntary” solitary confinement , it’s really great to have some visitors.
Goody encourages visitation so long as it doesn't take your focus away from Job One. I already recruited Stacy to bring her smile and support and she acted promptly. I see this as an opportunity for all your cyberfriends to support you in your efforts and provide you with positive thinking as you work towards your goal. That way we can all celebrate your victory together.



Quote:
Originally Posted by heartland
Goody, all wise keeper of the thread… here’s my update. Sunday, I came down with my first cold since last winter and its pretty bad. I think the cold is due to my disrupted sleep pattern, as you noticed in my 4am post. Still, I’ve worked on Job One most of the weekend. I’ve talked to several more people and got more ideas and a better picture of my situation. When I felt blah, I’ve cleaned up in my office or did other home front tasks. I’ve avoided procrastination easily so far but the cold has zapped my energy for the moment. I hope to rework my resume tomorrow. My Tuesday meeting with the banker was changed to Thursday. He will review the resume then.
Sorry to hear about the cold. Unfortunately these things only run their course despite what we do. Glad to see that you have the procrastination under control....Mrs. H must be happy in regard to that. Goody's still interested on the banker's take on my involvement here. I must admit that I was pretty amused that you introduced me in a crisp professional manner. Was I Goody or Dorothy???? Hehehehehehehe
I know....it's serious business and so long as it's keeping you focused in seeking gainful employment...that's all that really matters, isn't it?????
So today is tackling the resume.....it's all in presentation, my friend and I am sure you have no problem in that area.

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartland
Concerning the boards… For all practical purposes, I have confined myself to this thread since Thursday. I’m starting to feel very disconnected from the Relationship board already because I’m losing touch with people’s lives. It seems more like moving away rather than moving on. I’m missing friendships but my situation doesn’t allow otherwise. (BTW, I plan to use the Exercise & Fitness board soon to ask some questions. I don’t see a problem here because I’ve never replied on others’ threads on those types of boards.)
I understand how difficult this is for you to stay confined to this thread....but I think you know how important that is in terms of your ultimate success. Once Job One is acheived this can all be reevaluated but for now I must say that I am proud that you are adhering to our agreement. I promise to update you to any big developments and I see no problem with utilizing the Exercise & Fitness board so long as you don't use it as a means of procrastination or substitute it as a new habit. Remember...it was you that made mention of your fear fo finding something else to replace your postings, so I'm just going by that I'm proud of the fact that you came to this understanding on our own and that I am not in the position of having to control but rather trust you in this area.

Let me catch up on your questions…
I also need to know if Mrs. H has been requesting that you seek employment and for how long???? She said she didn’t say much until she noticed that I was getting less and less done each day. That was around November 2004.
Funny how that seems to be around the time of my marriage thread. At times I can't help but almost feel a little responsible for some of your habit forming posts.....but I am glad that I can make up for it now in the sense of getting you back on track.

Heartland’s plan: seems to be pretty much the same as Goody's from what I can see in terms of minimal posting and limited to this thread. I can be flexible in terms of your use of the exercise board as I have already agreed to. So basically I see no differences in our plans and am glad to see that you basically agree. Except the following.....

That leaves the job hunt… After making the calls and meetings I’ve mentioned plus checking several regional employment databases and the newspapers, 3-4 applications daily for the better jobs within a 75 mile radius is unrealistic for more than a few days. (Please don’t “spin up” yet.) I am preparing applications now for jobs related to my skills and will check daily for more. I asked several friends, including the banker, what they would recommend to supplement those applications. They recommended making “cold calls”, that is, contacting targeted businesses to either meet with me or to put my resume on file. (They said this approach shows moxie and produces a synergy.) Local businesses will be contacted first and then the radius would expand. They said to expect a decent job to turn up within several months since they know that to be a common experience in this area. However, if I exhaust the targeted prospective employers in the region, then I should include lower paying jobs in my search. My wife agrees that this is a good approach for our situation. The banker will help me fine tuning this procedure to maximize my chances for success. Heartland..what I want to see is aggressive action on our part until you land a job. I am also interested in what deadline you are giving yourself in terms of taking on a job or a few jobs that may be less pay and for which you may see yourself as being "overqualified" for but will bring home a paycheck. A stepping stone until something better works out to your benefit. I want to make sure that you are not lining yourself up to continue to be in your state just because your "dream" job hasn't come along. Remember...that is why this thread originally served it's purpose in showing you that this thinking had to change. Goody just wants to make sure that we are not reverting back to past behaviors and thinkings.

After learning the above, I began to realize that if I had marketed my business with a similar strategy and with the same advice and support I’m getting now, my business might have been successful. After Sunday’s story of the stone being rolled away, I thought that I should at least consider the option of applying the above principles to self-employment. I told my wife and called the banker about this; both were skeptical (Frankly, the way I feel today, so am I. ). However, they agreed to the following. In parallel with carrying out the job search plan, I have one week to prepare a self-employment proposal for them. (I had several ideas and if my cold clears up, I hope to refine them.) Both of them must agree that the self-employment plan is at least viable or it will be abandoned. The plan must include a crystal-clear outline of the business plan, remedies for all the problems with my last business, criteria for closing the business. As I said earlier, it sounded like a better idea yesterday when I felt inspired but this is a way of seeking closure for self-employment under the current circumstances. After reading the first few lines of this part of your post everything in Goody's mind was yelling "NO, NO, NO" Do not go there, my friend, it'll only lead to this plan's failure as well as this threads.


Goody’s plan:
No viewing or posting on any other threads. Agreed.

Posting will be limited to 2 hours daily on this thread only so long as it doesn’t interfere with other responsibilities, family life, or career. Agreed.

On downtime, you will spend time tending to responsibilities on the home front and make it your #1 priority of seeking gainful employment. . . . . . Remember, the goal is to spend most of your time in the real world fulfilling your responsibilities to family, career, and daily activities in the household. Same as Heartland’s Plan. My wife and banker agree with me that to achieve 3-4 applications daily, the resulting job would most likely require a move. My wife wants me to try the “cold calls” plan before considering anything involving a move.
Goody is okay with this modification, however, this week I need for you to come up with a deadline as to when you will entertain a stepping stone employment if your efforts don't land you an ideal/dream job that you want. That is #1 objective this week. Truthfully, Heartland....I think you should be working some type of job immediately on a part-time basis just to be out there bringing in a paycheck until something you want more pans out. Just enough hours to show Mrs. H that you are serious and which will allow you the time to still focus on looking for Job One. What are your thoughts on this?????



Quote:
Originally Posted by heartland
PS: I hope your back is feeling better after the meds.
Last night was miserable...I have never felt as much pain as I am in now. If the meds don't help by Thursday...my doctor wants to do a MRI to see what's up. I haven't had to take a percocet in so long but I finally did this morning and it's sleepiness effects are starting to kick in right about now.....so I am going to try to get some of the sleep I lack from last night. Will check back here in a little while........Goody

Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-15-2005 at 05:32 AM.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 05:37 AM   #7
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Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Goody, hope you are feeling better. Back pain is a rotten thing to have to deal with. Hopefully you will be on the mend soon.

Heartland, I admire your gumption in tackling your situation head on. It takes a lot of courage to change our lives, and a lot of determination. Looking for work is hard - and can be very disheartening. I am going to be facing that situation in a short while myself. Perhaps by then you will have developed some strategies for success that I can poach? To be honest, right now I don't feel that I am much inline for success at anything, it has been a bad couple of weeks for me.

Stacy, I am so happy to hear that things are back on track for you and Patrick. It does the heart good to come into the boards and see that a couple have worked things out. You both seem to care so much for each other, it wuld have been a tragedy if you hadn't gotten through this bump. I am very happy for you. This bit of news has brought a smile to my day.

Can we continue our gratitude/positive things list from the other thread? I like to remind myself that there are still things to be happy for.

1. There were four deer in the field across the road from my place - and one in my yard on Friday when I pulled in. They are beautiful.
2. I spent the weekend catching up with friends and family - mostly pleasant - and maintaining relationships that have been neglected lately.
3. I have decided to let go of the worry about my problems at work - the board will decide in my favour or not, I have done what I can. Another two weeks and I will hear what they decide. Until then I need to study for the exams - don't know how to study, don't remember what I am supposed t have learned four years ago, but not panicking!!!!
4. Spring continues to hint at arrival - good news for Canadians who hate winter and don't live on the west coast (Canada's tropics).
5. My doctor finally listened to me regarding my ongoing battle with hives, and is trying to get me off the steroids. He is concerned about my bone density now, but I just want to stop carrying the equivalent of the pharmacy storeroom in my purse. Things will get better. Perhaps the light at the end of the tunnel isn't just an oncoming train?

 
Old 03-15-2005, 08:33 AM   #8
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Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Genster.....thanks for the well wishes....I took a percocet....I hate the med because it knocks me out but finally I can move my legs without the excruciating pain!!!!! So.....I rested and think either the celebrex or percocet has finally kicked in yahooo OOPs.....I ought not overdue it Thanks girls for the visitation....Heartland really needed that.

Goody's 5 positive things:

1) Hubby got me comfortable in a recliner this am practically carrying me

2) Heard the birds singing this morning......Spring is also near in NY despite
despite the snow

3) My friend called to check on me and visit for a while

4) Listened to a great song this morning that I posted on Nini's thread

5) Daughter called from school to check on me

I know Heartland doesn't want to be left out of a tune so here goes......


Hands ~ Jewel


If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be, we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And unless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear

My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Realizing that I am not broken.......Goody

Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-15-2005 at 08:42 AM.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 09:16 AM   #9
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heartlandguy HB User
Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snails
I have also been accepted to several of my top graduate school choices...
Stacy,

I’m pleased to see you were accepted to several of your preferred graduate programs. I’m sure there are a lot of similarities between applying to graduate programs and applying for jobs. If you plan to follow this thread, please jump in at any time to provide me with suggestions. I need all the help I can get.

The biggest problem with doing anything personally important is that emotion gets in the way of clear thinking. Because of the anxiety and stress involved, I’m sure I won’t think of many things for myself even though they would be obvious if I was helping someone else. (That is a big source of procrastination for me.) Stacy, I’ll need your eyes (in addition to Goody’s) to help me see those things… if you have the time.

Quote:
I had thought I was doomed to be rejected everywhere…
...
Heartland, I have been thinking of you often and hoping that you are happy with your progress of late.
Because of grade school playground (I was the youngest in my class ), I’ve since had that same sense of doom in the back of my head. While I’m confident about my work and myself, I still have a sense of doom about being accepted into groups. (That is another source of procrastination.) I’m happy with my progress but I know fears of acceptance are just ahead. So far, I’ve been able to rationalize my fears away to avoid procrastination and I hope I can continue that through the entire process. Thanks for your support, Stacy! -Heartland

 
Old 03-15-2005, 09:28 AM   #10
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Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartlandguy
Cindy, I wish your life was on a romantic upswing like Stacy’s is but I must say I greatly admire your determination to move forward and do the right things in spite of your hardships. That is the finest quality a person can have and you have loads. You have gained the respect of your coworkers by working with a pain in the asp. I will remember your fine example in my weaker moments. Good luck and, crikey, I hope you soon find the man that will make snakes a distant memory for you.

Red and Snails, I feel very lucky to have two fine friends like you. Thanks for your support!
You're so sweet and wow, I can't believe you remembered my "real" name! You are a great guy and I have no doubt that things are going to go your way. Job hunting stinks and can be so emotionally draining. I'm wishing you the best of luck this week. GO HEARTLAND!

 
Old 03-15-2005, 12:27 PM   #11
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heartlandguy HB User
Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by goody2shuz
Goody encourages visitation so long as it doesn't take your focus away from Job One. I already recruited Stacy to bring her smile and support and she acted promptly. I see this as an opportunity for all your cyberfriends to support you in your efforts and provide you with positive thinking as you work towards your goal. That way we can all celebrate your victory together.
Great idea. Thank you!

Quote:
Goody's still interested on the banker's take on my involvement here. I must admit that I was pretty amused that you introduced me in a crisp professional manner. Was I Goody or Dorothy???? Hehehehehehehe
Goody, explaining my situation on this thread to him (you must have a bit of a sadistic streak in you ) felt very awkward for me so I had to practice keeping a straight face… like this happens everyday. Here on out, I suspect he and I will mostly practice “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” If he mentions the board or you, I’ll report it here to satisfy your morbid sense of curiosity.

Quote:
I see no problem with utilizing the Exercise & Fitness board so long as you don't use it as a means of procrastination or substitute it as a new habit. Remember...it was you that made mention of your fear fo finding something else to replace your postings, so I'm just going by that I'm proud of the fact that you came to this understanding on our own and that I am not in the position of having to control but rather trust you in this area.
You trust me in this area? I don’t believe for a second that you aren’t checking my daily posting history here. Hence, I’m in solitary confinement.

Quote:
That leaves the job hunt…
Goody, here I see a strong parallel to your marriage thread. To this day, I think I provided that thread a plan providing the best incentives to fix your situation. Tom and you decided to change the plan to make it “practical”. That really bothered me but there was nothing I could do about it but support your decision the best I could and hope for the best. Apparently, you two instinctively knew which parts of the plan were essential and you utilized them to succeed.

Now the tables are turned. I have to decide how to best proceed with my situation after you carefully led me past the point of no return. Trust me when I say that I’ve gotten my wife and the banker too involved in the job search for me to stop now. Since I can’t tell you on a public forum all the details that I can tell them, you’ll have to be patient like I was back on the marriage thread.

As uncomfortable as it will be for me to do, I will printout your concerns throughout this process and present them directly to my wife and the banker; your input will be a valuable part of the process. For each decision, I will consider the best of what my wife, the banker and you offer. I promise that I will make the smartest (not the easiest) decisions possible for the good of my wife and me and promptly report as much as possible here. Should I sense any procrastination on my part, I will interpret that as a need to promptly seek advice from my support groups. I certainly hope you can trust me to do all this. By Friday, I’ll report about Thursday’s meeting with the banker and my wife’s thoughts.


I have decided to abandon the idea of self-employment for now but I did gain closure during the decision process. By analyzing some of my problems with the business, I realized that the fixes couldn’t be implemented quickly, thus the idea is impractical now.

Quote:
Last night was miserable...I have never felt as much pain as I am in now. If the meds don't help by Thursday...my doctor wants to do a MRI to see what's up. I haven't had to take a percocet in so long but I finally did this morning and it's sleepiness effects are starting to kick in right about now.....so I am going to try to get some of the sleep I lack from last night.
I’m not good with comfort words so the best I have is something I think Bill Clinton said, “I feel your pain.” My aches will remind me of my dear friend, who apparently is in drug heaven. Keep us informed of your condition. I hope K has called a truce with you until it’s a fair fight again. Take care.


Genster and Red, thanks for your feedback. Best wishes…

Last edited by heartlandguy; 03-15-2005 at 02:01 PM.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 01:50 PM   #12
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,336
Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Insurance license.
Funeral pre-arrangements.
(Best of Wishes, Heart)
Nuff said.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 01:52 PM   #13
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 5,813
goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartlandguy
Goody, explaining my situation on this thread to him (you must have a bit of a sadistic streak in you ) felt very awkward for me so I had to practice keeping a straight face… like this happens everyday. Here on out, I suspect he and I will mostly practice “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” If he mentions the board or you, I’ll report it here to satisfy your morbid sense of curiosity.
Hehehehehehehehe You mustn't make me laugh.....at least not today when it hurts to do so. Heartland....you get an A+ just for sharing my username Sometimes when we have to do something difficult in our lives....a good sense of humor is necessary and I have a feeling that this is just going to have to be one of those times.

You trust me in this area? I don’t believe for a second that you aren’t checking my daily posting history here. Hence, I’m in solitary confinement. I'm not that bad, my friend For the most part I keep my computer on most of the day checking in once in a while so please don't think I'm here to babysit you. I'd have to start charging you for that if you need that much monitoring.

Goody, here I see a strong parallel to your marriage thread. To this day, I think I provided that thread a plan providing the best incentives to fix your situation. Tom and you decided to change the plan to make it “practical”. That really bothered me but there was nothing I could do about it but support your decision the best I could and hope for the best. Apparently, you two instinctively knew which parts of the plan were essential and you utilized them to succeed.

Now the tables are turned. I have to decide how to best proceed with my situation after you carefully led me past the point of no return. Trust me when I say that I’ve gotten my wife and the banker too involved in the job search for me to stop now. Since I can’t tell you on a public forum all the details that I can tell them, you’ll have to be patient like I was back on the marriage thread.
I'm trying, my friend, but you must remember that patience is not one of my strongest attributes Remember how much I wanted my marriage to be fixed....perhaps it was even a motivating factor????? May be for you as well.

As uncomfortable as it will be for me to do, I will printout your concerns throughout this process and present them directly to my wife and the banker; your input will be a valuable part of the process. For each decision, I will consider the best of what my wife, the banker and you offer. I promise that I will make the smartest (not the easiest) decisions possible for the good of my wife and me and promptly report as much as possible here. Should I sense any procrastination on my part, I will interpret that as a need to promptly seek advice from my support groups. I certain hope you can trust me to do all this. By Friday, I’ll report about Thursday’s meeting with the banker and my wife’s thoughts. This is a great plan, Heartland, less of a chance of you sliding through the cracks or reverting back to your procrastinating ways. You seem to have covered all bases and done as I did in my marriage thread of making sure that any revisions Tom & I may have made were made in terms of success.


I have decided to abandon the idea of self-employment for now but I did gain closure in the process. By analyzing some of my problems with the business, I realized that the fixes couldn’t be implemented quickly, thus the idea is impractical now I must be honest in saying that I am not in the least bit disappointed with this decision, in fact it is a wise one.

I’m not good with comfort words so the best I have is something I think Bill Clinton said, “I feel your pain.” My aches will remind me of my dear friend, who apparently is in drug heaven. Keep us informed of your condition. I hope K has called a truce with you until it’s a fair fight again. Take care I am much more comfortable and can finally walk again without tears rolling down my face. The percocet wiped me out today and I wil probably only take it at bedtime to help me through the night. Thanks for your concern. K. actually called to check on me today and so far so good on the battleground. At least she knows when to put down her sword

Please don't think you are missing much on the RB....Nini is Nini with her ups & downs and everything is status quo. You're doing a terrific job here and Goody is proud of you as I am sure Mr. H is as well. Dorothy is here if you should need, my courageous lion.

One more day on the yellow brick road & getting closer to Kansas....Dorothy

PS (UPDATE): Tomorrow is Nini's 40th Birthday....I was considering letting you out for a while to celebrate....but I need the okay from Mrs. H. See what she thinks and let me know. I have a feeling Nini is going to need all her friends to help her through the day.....her 40th has been the milestone she has been dreading Will we make it through the day????

Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-15-2005 at 02:04 PM.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 03:00 PM   #14
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 1,311
heartlandguy HB User
Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by goody2shuz
I'm not that bad, my friend For the most part I keep my computer on most of the day checking in once in a while so please don't think I'm here to babysit you. I'd have to start charging you for that if you need that much monitoring.
The Goody I know always does what it takes to get the job done right. Can you really tell me you never checked and simply trusted me?

Quote:
Remember how much I wanted my marriage to be fixed....perhaps it was even a motivating factor????? May be for you as well.
You’ve K2B1S. First, once a perfectionist gets started, the inertia is unstoppable. Second, by involving my wife and the banker, I’ve stirred up a hornet’s nest. With the hornets swarming, there’s no safe place to hide so I……must……keep……running……

Quote:
This is a great plan, Heartland, less of a chance of you sliding through the cracks or reverting back to your procrastinating ways. You seem to have covered all bases and done as I did in my marriage thread of making sure that any revisions Tom & I may have made were made in terms of success.
Thank you, Goody. Yes, I intend to emulate your success.

Quote:
I must be honest in saying that I am not in the least bit disappointed with this decision, in fact it is a wise one.
It isn’t the season for self-employment. But if I ever try again, I’ll be much smarter. I “won’t get fooled again”!

Quote:
You're doing a terrific job here and Goody is proud of you as I am sure Mr. H is as well. Dorothy is here if you should need, my courageous lion.
Remember I said I need a friend who says what must be said. In that regard, you are excellent. You don’t grade on the curve so I must work hard for every “attaboy” you give me.

Quote:
Kansas
That’s a story I’ll have to tell you someday.

Quote:
Tomorrow is Nini's 40th Birthday....I was considering letting you out for a while to celebrate.
The light… it’s so bright… Wait… I can make out a face…

Quote:
Mrs. H. See what she thinks and let me know.
Okay, Ms. Gatekeeper, I’ll check with the warden… Women!!!!
I know… I know… The floggings will continue until my attitude improves.

Quote:
I have a feeling Nini is going to need all her friends to help her through the day.....her 40th has been the milestone she has been dreading Will we make it through the day????
If I can still remember how to pull up the Relationship Board, I have to make a visit.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 03:24 PM   #15
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 5,813
goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: This Friend Knows What She Needs to Do....

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartlandguy
The Goody I know always does what it takes to get the job done right. Can you really tell me you never checked and simply trusted me?
Never say never, Goody's been told. So I guess I'm guilty as charged, but I guess there are worse things to be found guilty of, my friend

You’ve K2B1S. First, once a perfectionist gets started, the inertia is unstoppable. Second, by involving my wife and the banker, I’ve stirred up a hornet’s nest. With the hornets swarming, there’s no safe place to hide so I……must……keep……running…… Heartland....I told you to stop making me laugh Picturing you with Mrs. H, me and a banker in a three piece suit chasing you is more that I can bear

Thank you, Goody. Yes, I intend to emulate your success. That's what I'm counting on, my friend.



Remember I said I need a friend who says what must be said. In that regard, you are excellent. You don’t grade on the curve so I must work hard for every “attaboy” you give me. Thanks for the compliment....and like you said there are no curves in Goody's plan....so don't be looking for any!!!!

That’s a story I’ll have to tell you someday. Looking forward to it as I do most of your tales.

The light… it’s so bright… Wait… I can make out a face… Don't be smart or I may have to recind the offer. It's not everyday that Goody let's you out on good behavior

Okay, Ms. Gatekeeper, I’ll check with the warden… Women!!!!
I know… I know… The floggings will continue until my attitude improves.
But you must remember....behind every man's success there stands a woman (or two in your case )

If I can still remember how to pull up the Relationship Board, I have to make a visit. Now we don't want to go crazy from being placed in the rubber padded room, do we????

Thanks for keeping my mind off of the back....the laughter you bring IS the best medicine Thanks for that.....Goody

Last edited by goody2shuz; 03-15-2005 at 03:26 PM.

 
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