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Old 03-07-2005, 12:29 AM   #1
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megjoy HB User
Exclamation Psychological - lack of action = ??? HELP...

I guess this would be considered relationship health. I am looking gor a common thread in both of these stories, psychologicaly.

1. David and Sue have been best friends for a long time, they are basically brother and sister. Sue got a seriouse bf and David felt left out. Sue then made an effort to see David more. Later David got a girlfriend and left Sue out. David egnoledges this but does nothing about it. Sue calls him and tries to set up times where they can hang out, especiall with David and his girlfriend. David knows his friendship will last longer than this relationship but yet does not take any steps to fix this. Sue tells him that their friendship will not work, if he can not even mix hanging out with his own girlfriend and his bestfriend. David like to keep certian friend groups and poeple seperate, subconciously i think. He wants to make this work and knows what he has to do and yet does nothing. why?

2. Betty is a good student her freshman year of highschool. During the end of her Soph year, her grades start to lack. Betty wants to go to a very prestigiouse school and knows that to do this she will have to work to her level, which is above average. Before her Jr year Betty got a very steady borfriend which consumed a lot of her time. But, Even with knowing what she had to do, Debbie's grades continued to lack throughout her Junior year. Not only does she lack study skills in general, but she is now feeling hopeless and depressed. She knows she could work hard, but dosent. Debbie turns seditary, resulting in loss of hope, wich is followed by deep depression b/c she feels she can now never achieve the future she has look for. Why does Debbie do this, instead of just working harder. Yes, with her lack of work ethic she has more time to spend with friends and use wasted time with her bf, more time than needed, but she also stresses constantly because of this. Stress is constant.

I know there are many more thing that impact each person that you would need to know them for, but this is the basics.

Why can these people not take action when they know what they have to do, and know they can do it. The sacrifices are not big but yet might be presumed to be.

What common psychological thread do you see?
Is this common in adolescents?
Is there a specific name for this?
Any input or information would be great. Than You

 
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Old 03-07-2005, 12:45 AM   #2
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Re: Psychological - lack of action = ??? HELP...

I would say it is the power of love. In both circumstances, they both know what they "should" do, but are so in love that they are willing to risk it to experience life with the person that they truly love.

Yes, it's common, happens every second of the day. I've been there. And I'll never regret it, but I'm sure some people do. It all comes down to where a persons priorities in life lie. Some people would stick to their ambitions and their future career may be more important and uncompromising. Other people would give up everything to be with the one they love. They shouldn't have to, but they are still prepared to. The stress of not achieving what you "should", will never compare to the stress of being apart from the one they love, so they deal with it.

By the way, how did Betty turn into Debbie in the second example? I would say there is some serious psychological issues there...
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Last edited by StormGirl; 03-07-2005 at 12:46 AM.

 
Old 03-07-2005, 10:53 PM   #3
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Re: Psychological - lack of action = ??? HELP...

The first girl and second are two totally diff people, hence diff names haha. And neither person was in "love". I do agree love has some to play in the second one, but ambition to follow her dream was more important.

 
Old 03-08-2005, 05:23 AM   #4
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Re: Psychological - lack of action = ??? HELP...

I'm also kind of lost in the second example - not clear on where Betty's story leaves off and Debbie's begins.

That said, the first example is human nature as far as I'm concerned. People start to pair off early in a relationship. Kind of a natural progression since it's going to be the two of you in a relationship not 3.
Friends will always end up taking the back seat, being there, in a support position.
Freinds who demand equal or more time than someone's boyfriend are unrealistic.
Marriage can't survive with someone else always there.

Could you re-post the second example? Maybe if you take a look at it you'll see our confusion!

 
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