Losing friends because of my girlfriends jealousy - Relationship Health Message Board

JetHot · 05-17-2005, 11:32 PM

My girlfriend and I have been together for awhile now. Shes always said she trusts but now i dont now. Recently one of my friends started dating one of my ex girlfriends. This ex girlfriend I had very strong feelings for and I was really hurt when we had broken up, im over it now though its still VERY akward to be around her. Me, 2 friends, and my ex (who is dating one of those friends) went to shoot pool. She didnt say anything the whole time we were there, and it still feels very weird. My girlfriend is very jealous of her and she told me today she really doesnt want me to be hanging out with her. But my friends are always at my ex girlfriends house because shes cool and her parents are halarious. My ex is having graduation party this saturday, and alot of my friends are going, but my girlfriend hates her and I know she will refuse to go, and will be angry if I go without her.

I dont want to lose some of my friends that ive known for over 7 years because of my girlfriends jealousy. She always says "Well what if I was hanging out with so and so, you wouldnt like that"

MsInspiration · 05-17-2005, 11:46 PM

Well I just had to reply to this one. I am absolutely 100% with your g/f on this one. I think this is a rather wierd situation to begin with. I would certainly be questioning just who my "friend" is if he is dating someone that I used to be serious about. No wonder if feels weird - it's because it is!!

I think this is one of those situations where you should put your girlfriends feelings first. I don't know of too many women (actually I don't think I know of any) that would feel "comfortable" in your g/f's shoes. If you really care and love your girlfriend you should consider her and make sure that she does not have to feel uncomfortable!

Benihana · 05-17-2005, 11:53 PM

if your friends dont understand a little bit of the "moody girlfriend/hates my ex girlfriend" syndrome and they will end their friendship over you not coming to a party, thats lame. Secondly, whats your best friend picking up your seconds for? Furthermore, tell your girlfriend to start a fight with your ex at the party if she is that miffed by her presense. Maybe your ex will leave her own party and you can enjoy her parents and all the benefites of the house party, MINUS THE EX!!!! PERFECTO ADVICIOSO

leslie0784 · 05-18-2005, 11:42 PM

Your girlfriend is completely in the right to feel this way. I'm engaged to a guy I've been dating for two years and I still get insecure about his ex fiance! Talk to your girlfriend about the party if you're really needing to go. Compromise...she'll go with you and stay together and then leave an hour or two later. My fiance and I have a secret signal that we make when one of us wants to leave somewhere. Maybe you can think of something along those lines, that way if she's feeling very uncomfortable she isn't portrayed as the bratty girlfriend who can't have a good time. Also what kind of friend dates his friend's ex girlfriend? Are you sure it wouldn't be a good thing to lose his friendship? Good luck with everything!

Datura · 05-19-2005, 01:26 PM

She's obviously insecure with herself and/or the relationship. She'll have to learn to get over it. Do what you want. That may result in the fall out of your relationship, but at least you won't have someone insecure to cater to.