working Relationships! - Relationship Health Message Board

Thando · 05-19-2005, 04:31 AM

I work with an absolute cow, who is constantly negative, and never has anything decent to say about anyone. She pretends to be so nice to everyone, but behind there backs she is so nasty. I feel like screaming sometimes, if only these people know her the way I do. We share an office, so naturally we are in each other's face all day. A while back I decided not to discuss personal stuff with her, but she is very manipulative and always has a way of getting things out of one. I'm very wary of her and recently discovered that she discussed me with a colleague (she discusses everyone else, why should I be so different). Now I'm even more wary of her, at the same time pretending that all's well. I would love to leave, but my husband & I are TTC, we have excellent insurance at work, so it makes more sense to stay, for now. How do I handle this situation, without going insane? In the mean time I hope that she exposes herself to other people the way she has with me

SaabGirl · 05-19-2005, 05:15 AM

This coworker sounds just like my coworker. (Luckily I am moving to my own office in a couple of weeks.) The word "manupulative" I think describes it all. She sounds like she's just trying to see how she can influence people. Not speaking at all to her would be alkward (tried that!). Being nice to her seems like your best bet, IMO. But the longer you are there, the more you are figuring out how she operates, and you will be able to develop the ability to hold your ground and put her in her place, in a nice way of course.

Summer Girl · 05-19-2005, 07:28 AM

Okay, you both must work where I work because I am dealing with the same thing too. Except I have two of them who are friends but talk about everyone behind their backs. One of them is worse then the other. She lies to know end and is a known liar throughout the whole company. And some people A** kiss her too! This guy told me she did this and that and is a "B" but she gets a run in her panty hose and he goes out and buys her a new pair! Seems he forgot to whipe off the brown spot on his nose! And even the other day he told me again what a piece of __ she is! She also says nasty digs about people infront of them or directly to them. Even my boss said she is a lying "B". And get this, her friend will talk about her to my boss when she isn't at work. Why don't they get rid of her you ask? Because people get away with everything. This is a very unprofessional work force. One is 42 and the other is 50 something.
You figure that people would mature when they get older, apparently not!

There is much more that I can say but I am getting aggravated so I will end this here. Good luck and stand your ground ladies!

Note to myself: I will not talk about my life at work anymore.
When I buy the house my dh and I are looking for and the nosey receptionist askes did I get the house yet and how much was it, I will say I am not discussing anything personal at work anymore. I don't care if she has a problem with it. She is rude to me most of the time anyway and talks about me too.

Summer Girl · 05-19-2005, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SaabGirl

Being nice to her seems like your best bet, IMO. .

Didn't work in my case! I have done that for 7 years with her and she still was didn't change. Now we are not on speaking terms because I finally stood up for myself. (she had to be talked to about it because she wouldn't answer work related questions.)

Thando · 05-19-2005, 07:56 AM

Thanks for the replies y'all. Summergirl, I know what you mean about maturity, my one is over 50. About two year ago with my 1st PG, we were hardly talking to each other. When I approached her she didn't want to discuss it, but 2 months later she brings up the topic again, and said that if she had a knife that day she would have stabbed me. It sound dreadful now that I'm talking about it, but I know where she comes from so I make allowances for her. Her life's sad.