What to think..... - Relationship Health Message Board

SamIam123 · 06-17-2005, 08:05 PM

I have recently stopped dating a woman that I had been seeing for a little over a month... At first I thought everything was going well, but after we spent the entire Memorial Day weekend together things started to change. She started to become distant and almost disinterested which was odd because we had such a good time over that weekend... As a background she got out of a long term relationship around 5 months ago.... Well to make a long story short after some events this past weekend I sent her an email (I could never seem to get out what I wanted in person) asking her what was going on and if she wanted to continue seeing me..... She replied by saying that she did enjoy spending time with me but she also felt like me were more like friends...I could accept that just fine but the next line she said was the she wasn't sure if she was ready for another serious relationship... she then said she didn't know how to tell me this and that she was still confused about how she felt sometimes and didn't want to do anything that would hurt me in anyway... I told her if she gets things figured out to give me a call she said she would... My question is should I even bother thinking about her anymore? I'm not going to call or email her anymore unless she contacts me and I'm not sitting around waiting for the call, but I just can't seem to get her out of my mind (not like I'm overly depressed about it, it's more of a curiousity....)

Tru521 · 06-17-2005, 08:14 PM

I think you left things off the right way. At least the next move will be in her hands now. She knows how to contact you if she wants to get back together. It's hard to say "don't think about her" cuz I if you care about someone its almost impossible, but do the best you can by keeping your self busy.

Snails · 06-17-2005, 08:38 PM

I agree but I do think you should make every effort to put her behind you and move on. For whatever reason, she's just not that eager to get involved with you, and you deserve to be with a woman who is. There are lots of single woman out there looking for a guy who is willing to date her exclusively and think about her a lot

. Let someone else deal with her confusion and ambivalence...it's just not worth it to expend anymore energy on her. A lot of the things I said are what I say to guys to get them to stop calling, not to be too blunt, but I think her signals are pretty clear and consistent. Good luck finding someone who turns out to be a better match for you

BLUE EYED LADY · 06-17-2005, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamIam123

I have recently stopped dating a woman that I had been seeing for a little over a month... At first I thought everything was going well, but after we spent the entire Memorial Day weekend together things started to change. She started to become distant and almost disinterested which was odd because we had such a good time over that weekend... As a background she got out of a long term relationship around 5 months ago.... Well to make a long story short after some events this past weekend I sent her an email (I could never seem to get out what I wanted in person) asking her what was going on and if she wanted to continue seeing me..... She replied by saying that she did enjoy spending time with me but she also felt like me were more like friends...I could accept that just fine but the next line she said was the she wasn't sure if she was ready for another serious relationship... she then said she didn't know how to tell me this and that she was still confused about how she felt sometimes and didn't want to do anything that would hurt me in anyway... I told her if she gets things figured out to give me a call she said she would... My question is should I even bother thinking about her anymore? I'm not going to call or email her anymore unless she contacts me and I'm not sitting around waiting for the call, but I just can't seem to get her out of my mind (not like I'm overly depressed about it, it's more of a curiousity....)

Your doing the right thing by not calling her or e-mailing her. It is natural that you would still think about her, just try not to dwell on those thoughts. Try and think about something else. I would strongly encourage you to get out there and start dating again. There are so many wonderful women out there just waiting for a guy like you!!!

SamIam123 · 06-17-2005, 09:15 PM

I guess the thing that has me thinking about it is the part where she said she was still confused about her feelings..... When I don't want to be with a woman anymore I would never say anything like that to even give the impression that there is a chance..... The thing that is not going to be any fun is the next time I see her which won't be that long from now... (we have a few mutual friends)