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Old 06-21-2005, 05:42 PM   #1
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mandypetrie11 HB User
Question how to tell if it's a one night stand....

so i'm out the other night and i meet this guy on a dance floor and we hit it off immediately and due to drinking etc. one thing leads to another and we are kissing alot...but it isn't just physical...bit overwhelming in an emotional sense actually...

so, i never ever have left a club with a guy but really didn't want to leave this dude...so i left with him and his friends and we go back to his friends place and him and i are acting like we have been together for years and kissing non stop...and his friends are saying things like "we are so glad you and him met up tonight...he just got out of a relationship with a girl that treated him badly and it's nice to see him happy".....and i'm freaking out since i am thinking....we met at a club and he seems a little young for me and also even though we connected well he seemed almost scared of me...like he was in shock this all was happening.

so, i end up having to leave and he seems upset but says "okay" and without realizing what i said i said "do you want to come with me" and he says "yes" and so he goes and gets his stuff and we come to my place and he is so careful...brushes his teeth, freshens up...and is very just nervous i guess...and so we pretty much sleep together (although he got a little excited a little too soon so it wasnt' the usual experience)...and we basically cuddled all night...like a couple and he had the soundest sleep ever and didn't leave till late morning...but he got up and cleaned up, put on aftershave etc...and comes back and sits on my bed...and i was so awkard...i couldn't even drive him home..and so i just gave him money for a cab and said "this is awkard" and told him he should go since his friends needed him soon so they could go home...and he said "yeah okay" and we hugged and kissed goodbye.....i ran away in an awkard state and he said "well have a great day " and i said "yep, okay....well you have my number' and he said "yep" and that was that...

but i realized i didn't give him my number the night before...but i have his...

i have his leather strap bracelet here and i want to call him...but don't know whether i should or not...i mean do one night stands stay that late and cuddle all night and wake u up to say good bye and hug and kiss you????

i've never done this before and he said he doesn't do this either...we are both smart people that just gave in to a desire...and now i cant' stop thinking of him but think he may be freaked out if i called???? since i don't know what he thinks the night was??

please help...i don't know what to do.

 
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Old 06-21-2005, 06:03 PM   #2
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Piranna65 HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

It could have been. But maybe not? Is this a guy you'd like to see again and become closer with (if possible) or was the moment to awkward and you dont want to face him again because of it?

Alcohol does crazy things to the mind and body. Just make sure if you call him dont be upset if he acts like nothing happened and just wants his braclet and that is that. But if he mentions going out and doing something then who knows, maybe its more then a one night stand.

I met a guy at a party once, huge house party, we made out like we were some drunk couple like you mentioned I gave him my digits and when he started calling my phone I freaked out haha. I would always tell him I was busy and had plans (we didnt hook up that night just made out).It was too weird for me to evne see him again.

 
Old 06-21-2005, 06:57 PM   #3
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LittleRose1982 HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

The only way to know is to call him. If you don't call him, you obviously will never know the answer! We cannot tell you for sure whether or not this was a one night stand. It's quite possible that you two really did connect and could have a future! Relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and can be unpredictable. If you really can't stop thinking about him, then chances are it wasn't a one night stand to YOU. It's just a matter of finding out how HE feels about it.
For the record, I met someone on a Friday night (3 weeks ago) and haven't slept at home since that night. It's truly possible to fall in love instantly!

 
Old 06-21-2005, 07:53 PM   #4
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Datura HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

Since he left an item behind, you should call him just to be courteous by letting him know it's there. Maybe you could add something such as, "I told you I gave you my number, but realized later I did not [and felt kind of bad about that]."

 
Old 06-21-2005, 08:05 PM   #5
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mandypetrie11 HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

thanks for the replies...I think I will eventually call him and take the chance that he may be wierded out by it.

i didn't think a thing of it until later on...i mean i guess i started wondering if one night stands normally include sleeping all snuggled up together for the night and late in to the next morning...i kept getting up but he was quite comfortable and anytime i got back into bed he snuggled up again...that confused me...and then the awkardness...i feel awful...i had to run away from him...it was too awkard...and he is a good guy...obviously not used to this....

also the getting up and being quiet and getting ready, cleaning up, aftershave and then coming to the bed and sitting like he would wait till i woke up...(as i at first pretended i was sleeping)...

does this just mean he was a guy with a conscience or does it sound like he may of liked me...or expected that the snuggling, sleeping etc. meant more???

sorry to obsess...kinda want to just say the right things when i call...if i can get up the nerve...

 
Old 06-21-2005, 08:52 PM   #6
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Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

The answer to you question is; he never calls you? If he wants to get together with you, he will call you. If he doesn't then either some expectation of his didn't get met or he's convinced himself that it wasn't as great a night as you thought it was. Don't take it personally. He didn't really know you well enough to take it personally. The issues are his, not yours.

Last edited by evy38; 06-21-2005 at 08:53 PM.

 
Old 06-21-2005, 09:00 PM   #7
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Datura HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

Quote:
Originally Posted by evy38
The answer to you question is; he never calls you? If he wants to get together with you, he will call you. If he doesn't then either some expectation of his didn't get met or he's convinced himself that it wasn't as great a night as you thought it was. Don't take it personally. He didn't really know you well enough to take it personally. The issues are his, not yours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mandypetrie11
i realized i didn't give him my number the night before...but i have his...

 
Old 06-21-2005, 09:12 PM   #8
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staceymp HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

sounds like he is on the rebound. relationships can happen after a one night stnad but not likely. the fact of the kissing etc was probably to replace the girl that treated him so bad but you never know. i would call him , tell him you have his bracelet and tell him what you want to say, dont be shy, you need to know. do you want more than a one night stand w him? maybe he left the bracelet there on purpose so he could see you again! you wont know toil you call. good luck

 
Old 06-21-2005, 09:14 PM   #9
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evy38 HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

Quote:
Originally Posted by mandypetrie11
so i left with him and his friends and we go back to his friends place and him and i are acting like we have been together for years and kissing non stop...and his friends are saying things like "we are so glad you and him met up tonight...he just got out of a relationship with a girl that treated him badly and it's nice to see him happy
If he wants you, he'll find you in spite of you not giving him your number. You have mutual friends and he knows where you live. Not having her number, Datura, is not an excuse.

Last edited by evy38; 06-21-2005 at 09:15 PM.

 
Old 06-21-2005, 09:53 PM   #10
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Piranna65 HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

I too think maybe he was just longing for that relationship feeling again. So wanting to cuddle and have that loving feeling may have been what he wanted. I do agree that if he wants to see you again he will call or find a way. But by the sounds of things your still confused and weirded out. Would it even bother you if you didnt talk to him again?

 
Old 06-21-2005, 10:50 PM   #11
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soulster HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

I agree with piranna... about wanting to feel that relationship feeling but there could be a slight chance that he left the braclet there on purpose hopeing for something more to come of it. anyhow even if you call him you have a valid reason now so if he shows no interest then you can back out with all your dignity still in check.

 
Old 06-21-2005, 11:28 PM   #12
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Fheaven HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

People usually leave an item behind on purpose, so they have an excuse to come back or for you to call.

 
Old 06-22-2005, 04:48 AM   #13
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greeneyes100 HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

I would go ahead and at least call him once. You could call and leave a message on his machine if he works. You will never know for sure until you do this.

Sometimes, one night stands do turn into long term relationships. It just depends on the individuals involved. From your post, it sounds like he would like to keep seeing you. But if he just ended a long term relationship, and especially if it ended with a lot of bitterness, he may be on the rebound. When men are on the rebound, they tend to cling to the first woman who is interested in them, romance them heavy and hard, and then leave sooner or later. I'm not saying this will happen in your case. Just be careful.

Don't give too much of your feelings and emotions until you know for sure how he feels about you. Good luck!

 
Old 06-22-2005, 08:07 AM   #14
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mandypetrie11 HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

hey all...

thanks again...much good advice....evy38, as datura said, i did not give him my info. and we do not have mutual friends...that was the first time i had met him or his friends...but by the way him and i were acting with eachother his friends must of assumed things were starting up with us more than just what i had thought...i'm not sure his friends even know my name.

i have a number for him but he has nothing...and he may not have seen his bracelet, it wasn't in an open place the next day. he does know where i live but i'm never home and am living the province soon for a couple of weeks....

anyway...that was just to clarify some stuff...

his last GF i guess wasn't very good to him but i think it was awhile ago....so not sure if it was rebound.

i'm wondering if i just didn't like the attention and cuddling and that i just want that back and not necessarily him back... part of me wanted him to leave and the other part didn't...it was like we were both scared to wake up because that meant the "illusion" of 'us' would be over and the awkardness would set in....and it sure did set in...

just amazing you can be that physically close and even emotionally for one night and then walk away.

 
Old 06-23-2005, 12:54 PM   #15
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starsdenise HB User
Re: how to tell if it's a one night stand....

Ok, I know a popular book that just came out that sounds similiar to "he's not into you" says not to call.

Please just call him.

Say hi, and mention you have his item. Be neutral but warm. See where the conversation goes. If he sounds cautious, then you know. If he sounds cool, then go with it.

Sometimes you have to risk "bringing up your shields" to gain some ground. And yes, the worst thing that could happen is that he isn't interested. But you can handle it, or learn to.. that's just part of the game, and just know it's no big deal.

After all, he could be thinking YOU weren't interested from the last morning you chatted.

If nothing happens, on to bigger and better things.

 
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