Hi group! Well,my ex's daughter,who i raised for 8 yrs,has a birthday comming up,so i called a friend of ours to ask if i could drop a card off,she said sure.I've told you's a while back how she's[the x] been driving by on fridays[going way out of her way to do so] anyway,the friend i called,wasn't home,but guess who answered the phone? yep,the x! Didn't talk,actually,i acted as though i didn't know who it was,and left a message[the friend called back in 5 min.] so the friend asked how i was doing,i said great[im ok] but i lied and said i'm moving out of state,thinking by saying that,the x won't come around. I'm still hurting over our break-up,and my philosaphy is that if i don't see,or talk to her,it will help with the pain.
Eventually they'll see you and figure out that little lie, if they haven't already. You know you are going to have to deal with, sooner or later. Might as well get it started now. Sounds like she's moving on. Time for you to start taking the steps, to getting your life back, too. Was this guy your friend? If he is, he isn't really.
evy's right you know... Your ex will continue to drive by and continue to see your car until she figures out that you're not moving.
If you do have contact with her I'd tell her the truth now. "I'm not moving, but I said that hoping that you wouldn't come around anymore. I need to get beyond the past I had with you."
Avoid places she goes and even calling friends where she may answer the phone. Use your answering machine or caller ID.
AND KEEP BUSY!!
Especially if its something that has you helping others. A great way to feel better about yourself!
I agree with Ruth. No contact and just keep busy. Unfortuantely its going to take time to completely get over all this but if you start down the road to recovery now you will be that much closer to being all better.
Thanks for the replies! I said i was moving in a few weeks,but you's are dead right! I'm just going to say i changed my mind,and decided to go back to school[wich is what i'm really doing] i want to be a consler[bad spelling] helping troubled kids,or even drug alchohol.But anyway,i miss my stepdaughter,she hasn't called me,you's think i should still send the card?[birthday]