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Old 08-16-2005, 11:06 AM   #1
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greeneyes100 HB User
So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

I just had to vent about this. I'm getting so depressed because none of my dates ever turn into relationships! What am I doing wrong? Kelly has still not contacted me about the second date, so I guess he was just playing with me.

My last two people that I met have not contacted me either. It's really starting to get to my self esteem. I feel like giving up. Gosh, I'm a really attractive 50 year old woman, but I guess it must be my age. I have a nice personality and am smart with a good job!

I just don't understand why most of the men I meet do not want a second date.

It's really starting to get me down. I am really tired of being single at this point. I know I've said before that we need to be happy without a man, but right now, I sure could use one. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.

 
Old 08-16-2005, 11:15 AM   #2
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gamecock360 HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

I understand how you feel. Though I have not the experience in the dating world that you have had I am very frustrated with the whole concept of dating. Both guys have broken up with me because they just don't love me anymore. The ones that want me now want me for one thing. So how come I lose the guys I could actually have a relationship and instead just find the ones that want one thing.
I really hate this....
Why can't one of these good men come along that we can talk to and have TONS of fun with and yet love us to pieces and want to be with us. I jsut don't get it.

 
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Old 08-16-2005, 11:28 AM   #3
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heartlandguy HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

GE, you have intelligence, a fascinating personality and a wonderful disposition hereÖ so good that, even if you had only average looks, you should be swarmed with guys.

Do you send out strong signals that you are interested in another date? With your looks, many guys may feel out of your league and may need more encouragement than you imagine. (Iím talking about the kind of guys interested in a long-term relationship.)

 
Old 08-16-2005, 11:39 AM   #4
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LittleRose1982 HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Greeneyes,
I completely understand the frustration you're feeling. I have been keeping up with your threads and comments. The fact that you're dating so much is a good thing- you're putting yourself out there as much as you can. You are being yourself, you're very conscious of the way you're dressing and acting, and I don't think you can possibly do anything more! Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, sometimes it's going to take awhile and you've got to remember to have faith. When a date turns into another dead end, remember that it's just one more step closer to the right one! As long as you know and believe in your heart that it's going to happen, then you can laugh at the little disappointments along the way! Plus, you can learn from each and every one and use it to your benefit. You're finding out more about what you're looking for and what you're not looking for.
Just try to stay positive and trust that you're going to find the right guy.

 
Old 08-16-2005, 11:41 AM   #5
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LittleRose1982 HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Quote:
Originally Posted by heartlandguy
With your looks, many guys may feel out of your league and may need more encouragement than you imagine. (Iím talking about the kind of guys interested in a long-term relationship.)

Very true. In fact, Nick told me that if he had seen me out somewhere he NEVER would have approached me in a million years because he'd assume I was out of his league.
Maybe try to give them compliments and let them know that they are very much within your league.

 
Old 08-16-2005, 11:53 AM   #6
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SophiaM HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleRose1982
Greeneyes,
I completely understand the frustration you're feeling. I have been keeping up with your threads and comments. The fact that you're dating so much is a good thing- you're putting yourself out there as much as you can. You are being yourself, you're very conscious of the way you're dressing and acting, and I don't think you can possibly do anything more! Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, sometimes it's going to take awhile and you've got to remember to have faith. When a date turns into another dead end, remember that it's just one more step closer to the right one! As long as you know and believe in your heart that it's going to happen, then you can laugh at the little disappointments along the way! Plus, you can learn from each and every one and use it to your benefit. You're finding out more about what you're looking for and what you're not looking for.
Just try to stay positive and trust that you're going to find the right guy.
Yes, LittleRose is right. GE, you are a wonderful and beautiful woman with a great personality--I think it's only a matter of time before someone falls madly in love with you. I just can't imagine it any other way! I know, it is truly frustrating to date and date and it seems like you're not making any progress. I often feel this way myself, and it is especially disheartening when so many other women my age are either already married or in a serious relationship. Makes me feel like I'm missing my boat and the best years of my life are just passing me by...spent alone instead of with a wonderful man. But, GE, you can't give up. In addition to the online dating thing, do you know any friends or acquaintances who could introduce you to someone? Do you get invited to any parties, dinners or charity events through the law firm? See, I still think that the best way to meet someone for a committed relationship is through the traditional way. It's not easy and doesn't happen that often, and perhaps that's why when you finally do meet someone compatible, people tend to appreciate you more than in the online dating world where there's always someone with bigger boobs or longer legs or a younger face around the corner.

Last edited by SophiaM; 08-16-2005 at 11:56 AM.

 
Old 08-16-2005, 12:12 PM   #7
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Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

See, there you go, one of these coincidences again: a friend of mine just sent me an email anouncing that after several years of marriage, he and his wife decided to now get married AGAIN in a church (they only had a civil ceremony before). Great: some people get to be married TWICE to the same person, and I don't even have a boyfriend! Reminds me of that scene from the second Bridget Jones movie where Bridget's mom tells her she and her father are renewing their vows, while Bridget has been recently dumped and alone. It's kind of funny, I admit. Well, I'm happy for my friends at least.

 
Old 08-16-2005, 12:13 PM   #8
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gamecock360 HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

I was just reading these posts and mind sounded like I just talked about myself. I am sorry....
Greeneyes...You are a wonderful person. You have a great personality and if a man choses not to be with you its because he is blind. Any man would be lucky to have you. You aer a great person and you are going to find a wonderful man who will love you back!!

 
Old 08-16-2005, 12:13 PM   #9
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Hiya HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
Yes, LittleRose is right. GE, you are a wonderful and beautiful woman with a great personality--I think it's only a matter of time before someone falls madly in love with you. I just can't imagine it any other way! I know, it is truly frustrating to date and date and it seems like you're not making any progress. I often feel this way myself, and it is especially disheartening when so many other women my age are either already married or in a serious relationship. Makes me feel like I'm missing my boat and the best years of my life are just passing me by...spent alone instead of with a wonderful man. But, GE, you can't give up. In addition to the online dating thing, do you know any friends or acquaintances who could introduce you to someone? Do you get invited to any parties, dinners or charity events through the law firm? See, I still think that the best way to meet someone for a committed relationship is through the traditional way. It's not easy and doesn't happen that often, and perhaps that's why when you finally do meet someone compatible, people tend to appreciate you more than in the online dating world where there's always someone with bigger boobs or longer legs or a younger face around the corner.
I think you have to have a really tough skin to do the online dating thing for long. Perhaps you just need to try some other avenues? Like it was suggested, GE, do you have friends who can set you up? Perhaps you can throw a party and invite friends, work people, and tell everyone to bring someone you don't know. Go to your favorite coffee shop and make a point of taking to at least two people for at least five minutes. Utlilize more resources. I think it's possible you're just geting a little burned out on the online thing. But like Sophia said, the only other alternative is to give up, and we don't want to see you do that, and it doesn't sound like you're ready to do that, anyway. Keep the faith.

 
Old 08-16-2005, 12:20 PM   #10
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Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hiya
I think you have to have a really tough skin to do the online dating thing for long. Perhaps you just need to try some other avenues? Like it was suggested, GE, do you have friends who can set you up? Perhaps you can throw a party and invite friends, work people, and tell everyone to bring someone you don't know. Go to your favorite coffee shop and make a point of taking to at least two people for at least five minutes. Utlilize more resources. I think it's possible you're just geting a little burned out on the online thing. But like Sophia said, the only other alternative is to give up, and we don't want to see you do that, and it doesn't sound like you're ready to do that, anyway. Keep the faith.
Yes, and also, just to cheer you ladies up, my friend knows this woman who was in the same predicament: single for too long and feeling very down about it. So, even though she wasn't that religious, she started going to church and telling her troubles to this compassionate priest. Well, what do you know, after a while she and the priest fell in love with each other. The priest quit his priesthood and married her and they now have two kids! True story. So, sometimes it's just really unpredictable how you meet someone who's right for you. I mean, I know it's not nice to "steal" from God, but I guess God would be able to forgive that, right?

 
Old 08-16-2005, 01:09 PM   #11
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Hiya HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
Yes, and also, just to cheer you ladies up, my friend knows this woman who was in the same predicament: single for too long and feeling very down about it. So, even though she wasn't that religious, she started going to church and telling her troubles to this compassionate priest. Well, what do you know, after a while she and the priest fell in love with each other. The priest quit his priesthood and married her and they now have two kids! True story. So, sometimes it's just really unpredictable how you meet someone who's right for you. I mean, I know it's not nice to "steal" from God, but I guess God would be able to forgive that, right?
That's true, you never know when or how it might happen! And cheer up, GE, it could be worse! At least they're not making a movie about YOU! (The 40 Year Old Virgin opens this Friday, with me in the title role! )

 
Old 08-16-2005, 02:31 PM   #12
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LittleRose1982 HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Yes, charities and other organizations are a great way to meet people. When I was single, I actually began volunteering on a weekly basis (by myself, no less) for habitat for humanity. It was one of the best experiences of my life, one of the bravest things I've ever done, and the bonus: My construction supervisor was the most gorgeous guy to walk the face of the earth! He and I worked together every week and got to be great friends! Never dated, but the lesson is that it's a great way to meet people.
Get more involved in different community organizations or volunteer organizations. It gives you something rewarding and fun to do, and is a GREAT way to introduce yourself to a new social circle!!

 
Old 08-16-2005, 02:54 PM   #13
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heartlandguy HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleRose1982
charities and other organizations are a great way to meet people.
What better places are there to meet wonderful people with loving, giving hearts?

 
Old 08-16-2005, 03:02 PM   #14
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Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

GE, I am sorry that you are so depressed and frustrated! I was actually about to post about the same topic when I logged on and saw your thread. I felt so alone today and it was starting to really scare me. I am going back to college for something different---I have been thinking about this for awhile now and I finally decided to just do it because I was unhappy with what I origionally went for. So now I am about to start a new program and get my masters degree. Eventually, I am going to have to find a new job and probably move closer to the college because otherwise I just have too much driving to do. So today I felt a little "out of my comfort zone" I guess, and I just was really wishing that I had someone to lean on and share my thoughts and life with. It is kind of scary to be so alone, but I'll be fine. Anyway, GE I really think that you will meet someone wonderful soon---probably when you least expect it---that is what everyone always says! You are an intelligent, beautiful, exciting lady who some lucky man is going to snatch up soon!!

 
Old 08-16-2005, 03:43 PM   #15
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SophiaM HB User
Re: So Depressed and Frustrated with Dating!

Quote:
Originally Posted by glamourgal
GE, I am sorry that you are so depressed and frustrated! I was actually about to post about the same topic when I logged on and saw your thread. I felt so alone today and it was starting to really scare me. I am going back to college for something different---I have been thinking about this for awhile now and I finally decided to just do it because I was unhappy with what I origionally went for. So now I am about to start a new program and get my masters degree. Eventually, I am going to have to find a new job and probably move closer to the college because otherwise I just have too much driving to do. So today I felt a little "out of my comfort zone" I guess, and I just was really wishing that I had someone to lean on and share my thoughts and life with. It is kind of scary to be so alone, but I'll be fine. Anyway, GE I really think that you will meet someone wonderful soon---probably when you least expect it---that is what everyone always says! You are an intelligent, beautiful, exciting lady who some lucky man is going to snatch up soon!!
Wow, Glamourgirl, you're going back for your master's---CONGRATULATIONS!!! Aaaah, all of us lonely girls will at least be super-educated! Believe it or not, that's impressive to a lot of guys. Not to mention the combination of beauty, style AND brains that you possess!

Same goes for GE. Do you know that Christie Brinkley who is 51 was just offered to be a model for Cover Girl again? And she still looks amazing! I think the guy she's married to is quite a few years younger also. Whenever i think of Christie, I think of you, Greeneyes and that you will soon meet a guy who is crazy about you. Gosh, I only know one single and elligible guy but he's 60 so might be too old for you, actually. I think you would like my current boss, he's around your age and so handsome, but unfortunately, married. Damn. But you know, I once dated a guy whose father married a woman who was 52 and he was 56 at the time and extremely handsome. Don't lose heart because these things do happen!

 
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