Can Someone Help Me? Here Is My Story. I Met "kris" When I Was 17. We Met Through Friends And Fell In Love Right Away. Everything Went Great For The First Year. Then Sometimes I Would Go Days And Nights Without Hearing From Him. He'd Call Make Up An Excuse I'd Forgive Him Take Him Back. This Went On For Quite A While. I Let Him Do It To Me. I'd Cry Myself To Sleep Every Night I Didn't Hear From Him. We Continued Boyfriend/girlfriend For 5 Years. He Cheated On Me, Gave Me An Std (blamed It On Me) , Pushed Me A Few Times, Called Me Names , Etc. Most Recently I Became Pregnant And Unfortunalty Had A Miscarriage. He Did Not Even Show Up For My Surgery (to Remove The Fetus). I Stood By His Side All These Years. I Gave Him The World. He Did Nothing Good For Me Ever..............................my Question Is Why Do I Still Love This Man? I Can Not See Myself With Anyone Other Than Him? We Haven't Spoken Since I Lost The Baby , But I Still Love Him And Know I Would Take Him Back In A Heartbeat. What Is My Problem? How Can I Love Some One Who Hurt Me So Bad????? Any Advice Would Be Appreciated.
Last edited by cajuncutie23; 08-16-2005 at 10:37 PM.
sorry hun thats not love, anyone who cheats and abuses you is useless. its the time that you had together (5 yrs) that makes you miss him. you feel like no one else would ever want to be w you... i think thats a confdence issue you might have whether you realize it or not.dont ever take him back.. . he will keep hurting you and that is not a healthy relationship and definately not love. love does not hurt. think about that every time you miss him.. you deserve better and you know it. move on!!! good luck xoxo
cajun, I think your best bet would be to seek counsiling. It may have been love at first sight for you, but it wasnt for him. You know your going to hear a lot of negative things about this guy. He sounds like he's been a jerk since you met him.
The best move you can make cajun is to seek help so you can talk to a professional. This guy has done nothing positive for you in your life besides make you miserable right. It is not healthy to continue any form of communication with him. You need to start saying no, and feeling strong and sticking up for yourself. It sounds to me like he doesnt care about you. He only wants you around when it's convenient for him. And Im sure you see all of the signs, he's already cheated on you, pushed you ect, he knows his limits are endless w/you so he can treat you how he wants knowing you will still be there...
its time to get past this man and understand there is so much more out there. goodluck.
I think the reason you still love him and can't imagine being without him is because he was probably your first true love...clearly he didn't deserve your love and loyalty, but nonetheless, your feelings for him are going to be very strong. I heard someone say once that the magic of first love is the illusion that it will never end, and to some degree, that is a magical, powerful attraction which can be difficult to break free from. He is all you really know of love, so it's only natural that you can't imagine not loving him or feeling that way for someone else...but you will understand it someday soon, please believe me, you will find the strength and determination to move on and when you find love again, I truly hope that the man loves you and treats you with kindness and respect in return. Please remember that you deserve so much better than a cheating, lying, irresponsible, and immature kid like him--and you will find him! It's just hard to believe you'll ever love again when you only love one person, that is, until it actually happens, then you get that magic of saying to yourself, ah, so this is what REAL love is all about! You are still so young, remember that everyone has failed relationships as teenagers, it's all part of learning who we are and what we want and need in a mate...I know it feels like no one can understand or hurt like you do, but you are not alone, and I promise that you will pull through this in time just like the vast majority of other people who don't end up with their first true loves. And you will be SOOO much better off with another guy now that you've learned such important lessons about the value of honesty, integrity, and responsibility...I truly hope you find a man who treats you almost the opposite of how your ex could ever treat a woman.
Right now you have no self esteem and that is how he wants it. You need to take control of your life and tell yourself everyday that you are a good person, who deserves better! Because that is the TRUTH!!!!
Have you gotten counceling over your miscarriage? I had one too back in 1997. First I told myself it was natures way and all that stuff people say, but pretty soon, I realized I was messed up about it. I urge you to get some help with the feelings that will hit soon, if they haven't already.
Hang in there and stay strong! You certainly don't need a guy like that in your life. Do yourself a favor and cut all ties now.
Thanks To Everyone Who Responded. I Cried As I Read All Of Your Feedback Because I Know It Is The Truth. I Have Seeked Conseling. I Went See A Physctrist For The First Time Last Month. He Diagnoised Me With Bi-polor. I Don't Really Think I Am Bi-polor Because I Am Never Happy.. Just Sad. I Have Cut All Ties With Him Since I Lost The Baby. But It Is So Hard To Move On Because I Still Love Him And I Can't Imagine My Self With Anyone Else. I Know He Took Advantage Of Me And Used Me And Treated Me Like **** But I Still Have Love For Him. He Was My First True Love. Another Reason I Can't See Myself With Anyone Else Is Becuz He Gave Me The Std That Can't Be Removed. Thats The Hardest Part! But I Know I Have To Be Strong. I Go Back To The Physchitrist This Month. Hopefully He Can Help Me Get A Grip On Things. Again Thanks To Everyone That Responded.
cajun, I wont pry or ask what std you got from him. I'd just like to know is it a life threatening std? Because I have one myself and it is not life threatening. Infact I do not know for sure who it came from since it can lay dormant for so long...
I dont know if my current b/f gave it to me, or if I got it from a past, unsure honestly, but my boyfriend now soon to be fiance/husband has stayed w/me. He hasnt had any signs of the std I tested positive for. This doesnt mean you MUST picture yourself with him. Because lets face it cajun, he's not thinking of just staying with you knowing he has an std.
You know in your mind what he doing, he is seeing other girls, he is having intimate relationships with some of them. He is not even thinking about you. I can understand him being your 1st true love, and you may hear from more people then myself but you will always have a small place in your heart for your 1st true love. I still do and he was rotten to me sometimes!
I know you said you've seeked counsiling but I mean a counsiler you can speak to about your issues, your miscarriage, this guy you love that you shouldnt, about moving on. Think of it this way, he's not sitting around dwelling over you why should you be doing something he is not!
he gave me genital warts..... i haven't had an outbreak on the outside in 4 years but i believe its still on the inside. gyno doesn't seem to think its there anymore but i read info that it never goes away (sorta like herpes).
Last edited by cajuncutie23; 08-19-2005 at 07:00 PM.