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Old 08-17-2005, 08:02 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8
lurker100 HB User
so depressed!

i just posted about this last week but i have somenew information that i need to share. My g/f after 6 months of dating wanted a break of 2-3 weeks. And she wanted this only a week after she got back from arizona. But i emailed her about the whole break thing and she replied back. So here is some of the stuff she said

" its that i sorta have been missing being single and i can see that u just dont want to wait around for something to come... but i believe in fate and if were ment to be together or something then it will happen.... somehow someway."

"i miss being single... "

"i wouldnt want to wait around forever for me eiother. its just that i need to be single i misss the things i COULD say to guys like hott and stuff like that... i dont know how i can say it to u i just want a break... if we are ment to get back together it will happen but until then why cant we just stay friends.."

so yeah, that's the main jist of it. I loved this girl to death and we had an awesome relationship, but y does she miss being single when she was with me?

I know u guys are probably gonna say never make contact with her agian after she has done this to me but, but it's just that their are holes to be filled, things to clear up. What am i supposed to do now, i can't get over her and it's only been a week and a half, and is there any way of us getting together again?

 
Old 08-17-2005, 08:43 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,082
Piranna65 HB User
Re: so depressed!

well its up to you if you'd like to keep in contact, just dont expect anything to come of it. It sounds to me like her version of 'a break' is 'im breakin up/its over' because the way she put things makes me come to believe she wants to be able to mingle and not worry about hurting your feelings.

Im not saying the two of you are completely finished, my fiance and I dated a year prior to the time we 'offically' started dating. The year before we dated for a total of 4 weeks off again on again until I finally told him I couldnt do it, i wanted to be single, I didnt want to worry about hurting his feelings or having to explain myself to anyone. A year later he was still after me and I finally caved in because I realized what a fool I had been.

We have been together for two years come sept 1st and we are now engaged to be married. Im not saying all situations end like mine, but that could be some positive advice for you.

Im just gonna fill you in though, during the year we were not dating, I treated him pretty bad from time to time. I wanted him to move on, so my way of doing it was to ignore him, not talk to him, not pay attention to him, push him away just because I wanted him to find another person so I wouldnt be hurting him. I know it probably wasnt the best way to handle things in this situation but would could I have done really?

It wasnt until it was coming up on the year mark that I opened up and started talking to him, letting him come over and what not. And here we are, granted we've had our moments where we argue, or disagree over something petty, we are doing just fine now.

Goodluck I hope I helped a bit...

 
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Old 08-18-2005, 04:28 PM   #3
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 89
Dido_H HB User
Re: so depressed!

Why don't you ask her what you asked here on these boards very calmly (Don't give her the impression that you are depressed with her attitude.) and then say "YES" to her suggestion. If you try to show her your pain, she might like it. It sounds like she is not subtle enough to consider your feelings. JUST SET HER FREE. Probably this is what she last expects you to do (she might think that you will be begging her to stay). If she's serious about it, then mate you can't do anything about it and again I would agree to her suggestion, son't contact her at all during these 3 weeks, she might then miss being loved again!!!

Good luck

Last edited by Dido_H; 08-18-2005 at 04:30 PM.

 
Old 08-18-2005, 05:35 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,343
Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: so depressed!

She sounds young and not ready for a solid exclusive relationship yet.
You may be the one that she looks back on years from now and kicks herself for ever breaking up - -
but
when a girl says she wants to be single that is exactly what she means.

Unfortunately you risk looking way too "unable to understand what she said" if you mope, call daily, send texts or e-mails and drive by her place.

The absolute best thing you can do is Get Busy & Stay Busy and act as if you are just fine. You don't have to date anyone else if you're not up to it - but the more you cling to her the more suffocated she may feel.

Stand tall - put on a real act of doing O.K. and it will start to feel like you really are.
Come here & help support others who are hurting - you know exactly how they feel...

 
Old 08-18-2005, 05:59 PM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 369
gamecock360 HB User
Re: so depressed!

Ruth's advice couldn't have been better. I recently lost someone in May who felt he wasn't in love with me. As hard as it was I walked away. I know you may need to talk to her but also realize the possibilty of seeing her with another guy. My guy started dating/sleeping with someone else about a month after he and I broke it off. It hurts.
But as Ruth said I have kept busy and acted busy and acted like I was happy and now I am doing quite well. Out of the blue my ex called me this morning (which he has so much chemsitry with this new girl why is he calling me) and I was able to handle it because I had concentrated on other things and kept busy.
I am having the positive attitude that my ex is gonna look back one day and kick himself for ever letting me go. And it sounds like you are a wonderful person. As much as it might hurt I would do my best not to contact her during those three weeks. She may come to realize what she lost.

 
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