I have been writing here for a while and I think I finally got the closure I needed.
My ex called me this morning at work and we talked for like 20 minutes. Now keep in mind he is much more advanced in our line of work than I am and claims to have called me about a computer problem.
He ended up asking how I was and me him and his girl got brought up. I picked on him about it but said I knew he had been through a lot in his lifetime and he deserved to be happy. He goes on to tell me that he was happy with me and that he had tried and hoped that I would be the one that settled him down. However, the feelings just weren't there on his side. He said he thinks we would have eventually split because she had come back in his life after we broke up. He thinks she just might be the one to settle him down. The chemsitry is there with her and he said he doesn't think he has ever felt that before.
For the most part I am ok but I am quite sad. I miss him and the fun we had. I know with his finances and kids and everything that I am probably better off.
But one why would he call me out of the blue like that?
No one thought he was good for me but it still hurts...
Wow.
I pity that poor new girlfriend of his.
He expects HER to settle HIM down???
Talk about not taking responsibility for his own behavior!!
By the way, I'd ignore his calls - have them take messages for you for a week or three. Use your machine at home.
Unless YOU want to be the "other woman" to his new girlfriend.
Seems like he has a hard time being faithful to one person...
I wouldn't even worry about why he called, if you do that it will never lead to a good thing in my opinion, or least that's the way it works for me... Glad to hear that you sound like everything is starting to work it's way out of your system... Sounds like you are right around the corner from being ready to completely move on and upward...
I answered the phone this morning because I thought it was one of our locations...hahaha...I don't intend to continue to talk to him.
No one thinks he can settle down. He also once said something similiar to me that when he found something he liked he held on to it while holding me in his arms.
Ruth I think you are right. Most of my friends and family felt I could do better (especially you guys here) and with that many people telling me that there has to be some truth to that and possibly something I am not seeing.
I do miss the fun times I had with him because take women out of his life and he is a great person with a lot of potential which he chooses not to use.
I am not going to be "the other woman" to his new girl. I wouldn't want that and I am not going to do that to her. She is going through a divorce where her exhusband smokes crack literally.
i guess I am kinda sad that I was not the one that could truly make him happy and have the chemitry with but I know god has a plan for me and I have to have faith.
Thanks for your feed back guys!!! I am doing surprisngly well and I am glad I weathered this well!!
Well sounds like you have a plan... Wow what a long ride this has been... Just keep up the positive attitute... Well I guess now we are going to have to wait for the "I found someone and couldn't be happier" thread.. I'm going out with some new people this Saturday and am quite pumped about that... Never know what could happen there... BTW I think I've decided I must be very attractive to 50 year old women... I've had 3 hit on me this week alone... It's actually funny as heck the way they act... Now if I could just cut that age in half...
Well sounds like you have a plan... Wow what a long ride this has been... Just keep up the positive attitute... Well I guess now we are going to have to wait for the "I found someone and couldn't be happier" thread.. I'm going out with some new people this Saturday and am quite pumped about that... Never know what could happen there... BTW I think I've decided I must be very attractive to 50 year old women... I've had 3 hit on me this week alone... It's actually funny as heck the way the act... Now if I could just cut that age in half...
Haaha! I seem to be having the same problem lately. Men the age of my father are hitting on me constantly. What the heck are they thinking???
And Gamecock, please know that there will be someone else who will be crazy about you--chemistry and all. You deserve it!
I don't want to be mean or anything, but I almost feel like saying to I know your daughter or something? Just funny how often it's happened in the last couple of days...
I don't want to be mean or anything, but I almost feel like saying to I know your daughter or something? Just funny how often it's happened in the last couple of days...
Well, I think it would be too mean..I would be gracious and just smile if someone much older gives me a compliment. I mean, obviously they have no malicious intent, even though they might be a bit detached from reality you know.
hahaha...You guys are funny. Thanks for the replies. I just hate all this. I really think I deserve someone good but it seems all my exs get it first. oh well...hopefully this sadness will pass soon...
First isn't always the best btw... When you least expect it something great will come along... BTW I can't tell you how good of a mood I've been in this week... I reallly think that gut feeling I have is on the money... Hang in there, Stay positive.... and have a great day....
First isn't always the best btw... When you least expect it something great will come along... BTW I can't tell you how good of a mood I've been in this week... I reallly think that gut feeling I have is on the money... Hang in there, Stay positive.... and have a great day....
Hey! I have been in a wonderful mood today and then this morning was a little bumpy but then now I am in a great mood again!! I hope you are right and I hope something wonderful happens to you soon!!
You guys are great! I love this site. Always turns me into a good mood and makes me realize what great people are here and that no one is alone.
You must be one hot looking man scotty....all these woman coming at you
Yeah I have to carry a stick with me to beat them all off, of course the way it's been going lately I can usually outrun them... I have something to do tonight and Saturday night that would be a whole lot of fun but I can't find anyone to go with me darn it... All my friends are married and in love with their homes... Sucks too because there is a good chance with who is going to be there I could meet some new people... Ahh the life of a single man...
Nevermind on the not finding someone to go with me tonight... I'm already not looking forward to the hang over I'm going to have tomorrow...
Scotty you crack me up...hahahahaha....
You know I was thinking...if my ex has the special chemistry with this new girl and she might be the one to settle him down then why was he calling me this morning...interesting....still handling it wonderfully though....
I have a crush now and I am just trying to figure out whether I should let him know...
Scotty you crack me up...hahahahaha....
You know I was thinking...if my ex has the special chemistry with this new girl and she might be the one to settle him down then why was he calling me this morning...interesting....still handling it wonderfully though....
I have a crush now and I am just trying to figure out whether I should let him know...
Oh, I urge you figure out a way to let your crush know.
I had a crush just a couple months ago. Shocked the H*** out of myself.
If you don't know, my relationship ended a year and a half ago, and I've yet to move on, nor has one person come along to spark even a little interest in me. I had met a few guys, but they all just wanted one thing, and the one who didn't turned out to be... (can't even think of a good word for him).
Anyway, it was good to find out there is still the potential for someone to catch my interest and that I could possibly like someone again.
But I didn't do anything. I didn't know how to read the guy. Sometimes he would be playful with me, other times he would outright ignore me. And I think the whole time I was in denial with myself that I was even crushing on him, simply because I was so surprised by it.
Well, now I'm not around this guy anymore, so my opportunity is gone anyway. I wish I had at least tried, maybe acted more friendly towards him.
Don't let opportunity pass you by!
I am so sorry that you are still dealing with a breakup. I know how it feels. And it hurts that he finds so much interest in this new girl but whatever...
The only thing about the crush is I am very shy and terrified of rejection. But you also have to live life to the fullest. I just don't know how to let him know ya know? I was kinda hoping he would ask me to lunch or something. He is a contractor for my company so he comes to my work sometimes and I don't know how he would feel about that. I really want to say something...maybe I will grow the guts to do it!!
I know this is kind of junior high, but is there maybe a mutual friend who could talk to your crush and get a read on whether he's single and possibly interested in you? If you'd rather approach him directly, I'd suggest trying to start up casual conversations more often, and after talking to him a few times, wait until he mentions an activity and suggest doing it together...whether it's a movie, a sport, a restaurant or bar, whatever. That way he'll know you're interested, and if he feels the same way, he can take the initiative and make specific plans. If not, you won't have put yourself in a position to be outright rejected, you guys can just let it go without following up. I think it's definitely worth taking a chance--you never know, it might turn out great! Do you feel like you have recovered enough from your breakup to get involved with someone else? You can always date casually for awhile if you need more time...but I've found that it's a lot tougher to get over someone if you don't date at all. There's nothing like a cute new guy around to take your mind off your ex!
Speaking of him, I think you would be a lot better off not worrying about whether your ex called you. You'll never really know why he called, but I don't think it does any good, as Scotty said, to put any thought into his motivations. To be honest, I don't think his calling you means he's not into her...it would be one thing if he said he had dumped her and realized he was crazy about you, but anything short of that doesn't indicate that he's dissatisfied with his current relationship. It's best if you just consider it closure, accept that he has moved on and doesn't want to come back, and resolve to do the same. As they say, the best revenge is living well, so maybe you should take his call (which was actually kind of rude if you ask me; to tell you he didn't have feelings for you then rave about the new girl is rude and tacky) as motivation to leave him and your thoughts of him in the past and embrace all the opportunities your future holds. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of continuing to occupy your mental space, and I also think that the less you dwell on him, the happier you'll feel. Besides, you owe it to yourself to instead focus on things that make you feel happy and optimistic...like your new crush and all the other hot single guys out there!
I am doing surprisngly well and I am glad I weathered this well!!
I know how it feels. And it hurts that he finds so much interest in this new girl but whatever...
is rude and tacky) as motivation to leave him and your thoughts of him in the past and embrace all the opportunities your future holds. He doesn't deserve the satisfaction of continuing to occupy your mental space, and I also think that the less you dwell on him, the happier you'll feel. Besides, you owe it to yourself to instead focus on things that make you feel happy and optimistic...like your new crush 
