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Old 08-18-2005, 09:35 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 468
degen95 HB User
just realized something...

ok, not to bring up the same old topic again, but, there's this girl in my sport club that i really fancy..she's really nice, talkative, friendly, really, really attractive, and i always feel like i just want to grab her and give her a nice big wet one.. .

anyway, this got me thinking...you women really have your options out there..i know, i know, you still insist that its not easy to find a good guy but seriously, this girl is the only girl that comes regularly and all the guys, myself included, nice, intelligent, highly educated, respectful, humourous, at the very least average looking, guys. this girl has options. all she has to do is pick a target. there's no way that she can possibly say that NOT ONE SINGLE one of us interest her. look at the numbers: 1 girl, 10-12 guys. so i solved your problems... . find a sport you're interested in, join the club and INSTANT pool of guys to choose from. easy. that's my suggestion.

i always see this. there's always a situation where there is tons of guys and not enough girls. is there anything that girls like to do?? i mean, are you guys passionate about anything at all?? a sport, or activity, or craft, or something...anything??? i want to find an activity that has interaction, that is female dominated. i tried yoga class, not to meet girls but because i was interested. there were tons of girls but no interaction. so thats my first question: what is such an activity for me to get involved in???

oh, minor detail: this girl i mentioned above is a different race than me and i've always been really really scared to make a play for someone that is not my race. when its my race, i'm confident and its easy but i really am attracted to someone REGARDLESS OF RACE. i never know how to handle the situation or know whether the girl is open to things like that..not every girl is, especially in a black/white situation. so that's my other question: how do i handle this???

so...what do you think?????????

 
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Old 08-18-2005, 10:35 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,343
Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: just realized something...

I'm not athletic personally.
I met people at work, friends of friends, etc.
Another place would be to take an Adult Continuing Ed class in the evening. Not mechanics if you want better odds. People usually end up stopping for coffee or pop after class. Plus you learn something!

In case you're wondering why that one girl isn't drooling over you guys:
Could be:
Married or Engaged
In an exclusive relationship
Just got out of a bad relationship
Gay

As far as the race issue, don't even put it in that category! If you're interested in more than just "grabbing her", then ask her out. Black or white doesn't matter when it comes to Thanks I'd love too, or No Thanks!

 
Old 08-18-2005, 01:03 PM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 275
Ruby13 HB User
Re: just realized something...

You should just ask her out! She might say yes. She might say no for all kinds of reasons ranging from she's got a boyfriend, the race issue, she's not dating right now, or no matter how nice and cute you are, you're just not her particular type, but as long as you don't act angry or hurt or pushy, then no harm done and now you know. I wouldn't let the race issue stop you. If it's a problem for her, which for some people it is sadly, then that's really her problem, not yours.

I personally don't like meeting guys at the gym. It's my "me time", and I'm a fairly shy person, so I feel awkward if I'm being approached by different guys every time I go. I've definitely started avoiding eye contact a bit to solve that problem. The funny thing is that I met my current bf online and then found out he goes to all kinds of the same places as me, including the gym.

I know on line is not for everyone, but for me it was nice to be in a situation where I knew the guys who contacted me were looking to meet someone and they knew I was too. It just took some of the awkwardness out.

Good luck!

 
Old 08-18-2005, 01:52 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 187
tenagain HB User
Re: just realized something...

personally speaking for myself it takes more than just a "handful of guys" in the room and to just "pick" one and go for it....

I am married so I don't do this anymore but when I was single these are the things that led me to go for a guy:

1. looks/confidence (actually confidence more than looks...but not "over confident or cocky")

2. If he makes eye contact with me and smiles


3. If he has shown interest in me by saying "hi, how are you today" or something along those lines


4. A feeling or a connection...this is hard to describe but most women will agree with me on this one that it's more than how a guy looks or even that he is available...it's that "feeling" that you get in your gut that tells you whether a guy is worth the trouble or not...chemistry so to speak

5. I also look for signs of a wedding ring (either the ring or a "tan line")


She may also be shy....or the type of girl that doesn't make the first move...you need to talk to her and find out more about her situation.

 
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