It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-19-2005, 02:54 AM   #1
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: London
Posts: 41
damselindistres HB User
Iam minging

Hi, I am a 23 yr old female and Iam v ugly. Some people think that I am a bloke. I hardly ever wear make up and Iam mostly told that I do not need to wear foundation because my skin is not too bad (plus I have eczema and foundation makes my skin itch). My present bf is v. supportive previously bf I went out with always hinted that I was lucky to have them and this guy says that he is lucky to have me.

Anyway could someone give me tips on how to make sure my skin stays nice and how to look more feminine. Also what would you do about people that talk about your appearance in front of you?

p.s I will add one thing so you realise why I have posted it here and not on the beauty forum: When I was at school I was picked on for my appearance and this makes me suscipous of people and affects my relationships with them because I think they might be laughing about me behind my back. Any hints on how to deal with this as well.

Last edited by damselindistres; 08-19-2005 at 02:57 AM.

 
Old 08-19-2005, 03:24 AM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: s.f.valley, ca
Posts: 135
kimber lee HB User
Re: Iam minging

well hello, i think that people may be talking about your appearence in public because that is possibly the discussion that is started by you, and they just keep taling about it, m i right? try not to discuss your appearnce to anyone and see what they talk about. And if they are laughing behind your back or talking behind your back, then, well, they must be young and imature. How old are you, kimber lee

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-19-2005, 03:30 AM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 107
lola11 HB User
Re: Iam minging

Hi! I try to drinks lots of water to keep my skin fresh and moisturised. I know it makes a difference for me cos if i go one week with out drink as much as im used to i get a few outbreaks and my eyes look dull! Anyway, why not try a tinted moisturiser instead of a foundation. This wont look too dry and will keep your skin moisturised while having some cover up. Also try a good concealer - i use anything from benefit Boing (whcih i consider to be an industrail concealer) and i use it everywhere, including under eyes etc but normally any kind of concealer will be fine provided you get one close tot he colour of your skin tone.

Another thing you dont have to wear a ton of make up to look feminine -a nice natural blush over the apples of your cheeks, a splash of gloss on the lips with an extra helping of mascara and your off!!

Do you have creams that help with your eczema?? if so maybe you could speak to your dermatologist or doctor to see if they can tell you waht kinds of lotions and potions to avoid and which ones may help particualry with regrds your makeup!

Good luck!

 
Old 08-19-2005, 05:17 AM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lancaster, PA
Posts: 246
Ivorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB UserIvorygirl HB User
Re: Iam minging

Hi....I just read an article about Leeann Rimes the famous singer having eczema and how just recently she told the public about how it affects her. She said that when she is under stress or on stage singing it comes out so suddenly. So, perhaps this is the same for you and if you learn to keep your concerns and worries down you will be able to keep the eczema down as well.

I also think it's great that you have a BF who tells you that he is lucky to have you. It's not in one's face that one finds happiness but in one's soul. You must have a beautiful soul

I wouldn't worry about what others say who don't get to know the real you. What really matters is how you feel about yourself and that will radiate throughout a room. I think that deep down you are self conscious about your condition just like Leeann Rimes and you just have to come to the realization that you have so many other strengths that outshine this, that apparently your BF sees that you ought to let others see as well. I think you're a lucky woman who is blessed with a great guy who genuinely cares for you. A lot of women who do not have eczema should be so fortunate.

Last edited by Ivorygirl; 08-19-2005 at 05:19 AM.

 
Old 08-19-2005, 06:01 AM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 134
sandra2005 HB User
Re: Iam minging

hi, my name is sandra, when i was at school and a bit younger people in schoo used to sing the ''walks like a man, talks like a man'' song to me and when i wen out with friends hardly any fellas used to chat me up whereas my mates would ALWAYS seem to have men chasing them, it used to really upset me but so i know how you feel......its horrible..and i would NEVER EVER think of saying something like that to anyone its so hurtfull..

The thing is other people (my mam's friends) etc used to say how beautiful i was, i always though they were just saying that because thats what other parents do!

these days (im 19 now) i dont care what people think of me because you are who you are, i have learned to accept it and thats it! and i have noticed that since i have taken on that attitiude i notice men turning there heads when i walk down the street and i always get chatted up..

i guess what i am trying to say is that with the way you feel about yourself now(no confidence, probably shy etc) people do not approach you and if you try to act more confident and outgoing people will start to notice that, there is a saying my mother always used to say '' when you feel good about yourself, other people will feel good about you to''

you say you cant wear make-up , well i dont know if you can use it but there is make up you can buy, its for extra sensitive skin,it is probably more expensive but if it makes you feel better about your self then whats the harm! the body shop do alot of sensitive skin makeup aswell.

if you cant use that you could try doing something extra special with your hair ,getting your nails done, or wear dressey clothes..

And please dont call your self ugly,no-one is ugly or deserves to feel ugly!

im sorry if i presumed to much about you in my post or wrote too much i just couldnt stop!!

hope i helped you a bit, if you want to talk feel free to write back to me.

Last edited by sandra2005; 08-19-2005 at 06:03 AM.

 
Old 08-19-2005, 09:13 AM   #6
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: London
Posts: 41
damselindistres HB User
Re: Iam minging

Hi thanks for all the posts. Firstly I' d just like to point out its mostly strangers who I have not spoken to who I get this from. Also I have on some occassions gone to ask people the way some of them run off especially men, so I must appear some what strange.

 
Old 08-19-2005, 04:02 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: mia, florida
Posts: 174
~charlotte08~ HB User
Re: Iam minging

Nobody is ugly. Everyone is loved by someone, so how can there be an ugly person?Please don't bring urself down like that. I don't care if you have acne, are fat, have no legs, no teeth, etc. When I see people like that, I say " Wow they are so beautiful." Nobody deserves to be called ugly. People say that either to hurt feelings or to feel superior. I agree with the other posters. You should buy makeup for really sensitive skin. Hope it works out
__________________
~charlotte~

 
Old 08-22-2005, 01:27 AM   #8
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: London
Posts: 41
damselindistres HB User
Re: Iam minging

Thanks for your advice I think I will pay a bit more attention to my appearance (i.e. painting my nails would be a start). I also think that I will drink more water-I drink litre and a half a day sometimes less, I will try for 1 and a half litres at least maybe nearer 2 litres.

I also sometimes wonder if I think about my appearance too much because I have a bad sense of self in general i.e. not sure who I am. Has anyone got any tips for self development at the mo am try NLP. Has anyone tried NLP? If so do you think it helped?

 
Old 08-22-2005, 02:44 AM   #9
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 328
eaglesgirl37 HB User
Re: Iam minging

Can you explain what you mean by NLP? I agree with the other posters so far; it sounds like you are being too hard on yourself and focusing on superficial qualities to the exclusion of all the wonderful attributes you have to offer that go further than skin deep. It's completely understandable to be self-conscious about your looks if others have given you a hard time, but you will ultimately be much happier in proportion to the degree you can help yourself stop caring about outsiders' opinions. People will always be mean, petty, and critical, especially to those they sense may be easy targets, but their opinions don't matter nearly as much as the way you feel about yourself. I definitely think that any effort you can make to improve your self-image and self-esteem would be well worth the time. There are lots of books out there on this topic--perhaps meeting with a counselor could help you find some good ones, or help you learn to escape your negative pattern of thinking about yourself. There is a kind of therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy which focuses on retraining ourselves to replace negative or destructive patterns of thinking or behavior with healthy and beneficial patterns. I think you deserve a lot of credit for realizing that you don't have to go on feeling badly about yourself...there is a lot you can do to seize control of your self-image and improve the way you think about yourself. I wish you lots of luck and hope you're able to make good progress before long...you can always count on this board for advice or support whenever you need it! Take care and best wishes .

 
Old 08-22-2005, 05:57 AM   #10
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 34
shiznit HB User
Re: Iam minging

Quote:
Originally Posted by damselindistres
Anyway could someone give me tips on how to make sure my skin stays nice and how to look more feminine. Also what would you do about people that talk about your appearance in front of you?
There is a dermatologist-prescribed skin cream for eczema that you may be able to try. Both my parents have bad eczema and both of them swear by it -- particularly during the hot, humid months when it gets aggravated. To be honest, foundation is a catch-22. You look "better" wearing it, but it wreaks more damage on your skin. Perhaps a tinted moisturizer might be of some assistance?

I noticed you used the word "minging" so I'm thinking you're from the UK? If so...although it is rather pricey here in the US, your NHS coverage should possibly reduce the cost of getting the medicine.

OMG...people are so rude, I know...I used to have cystic acne and scars from the shingles and the things people used to say! Brings tears to my eyes even 8 years later in my life. To be honest, I confront them. What makes them think they're so perfect? Ask them that. Ask them how it would feel if they had something painful that they couldn't do something about and people were talking about THEM. You don't have to put up with that! I even hate "friends" who ask you why your face looks funny, etc. I just tell them to either stop it or just not talk to me altogether. Nobody is perfect, nobody has any right to make you feel bad about yourself, as "well meaning" as they may be.

 
Old 08-23-2005, 02:07 AM   #11
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 134
sandra2005 HB User
Re: Iam minging

well i think you do maybe have a bad opinion of yourself, and what i am about to say i mean it in the nicest possible way,

you say that strangers look at you this way and speak about you well do you think it is possibe that because you feel so bad about your self that maybe you are being a bit paranoid , im not saying that people arent being mean to you but maybe you see it worse than it is??

if you want to feel better about your self you could try reading a self help book, i think there is one called -love yourself today- or something, if you are too shy to go to a shop to a shop and buy it then you could buy it over the internet..

also maybe it might be worth looking into getting some theraphy,it could do you a lot of good to speak your feelings over with a professional that has experience and experteese in these areas , they could make you feel so much better on the inside and that could help you work on how you feel on the outside.....good luck

 
Old 08-23-2005, 08:19 AM   #12
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 134
netle HB User
Re: Iam minging

You might want to look up something called Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
my chin acne has gone yay ltad Acne 0 02-09-2008 04:11 PM
Scan Results pinkmada Lymphomas 17 08-20-2007 06:05 AM
manuka honey / manuka products ?? meant to be really good apparentlly? anyone know? beatboxkid Acne 0 08-02-2007 08:11 AM
Propylthiouracil stinks to high heavens niecsey Thyroid Disorders 2 08-17-2006 07:05 AM
questions about my first time threepegs Sexual Health - Teens 6 10-04-2004 08:44 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (272), rosequartz (255), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (156), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (99), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (905), Titchou (848), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), midwest1 (669), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:07 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!