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Old 08-22-2005, 09:36 AM   #1
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Cool PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Hi all, Thank you for your support over the months.

OK, so last Saturday was my nightmare come true. (the one I mentioned in my last thread).

I went on a date with someone to clear my head of what's been going on. When I got back home, I received a call from my x-boyfriend demanding to know where I was, why I won't answer his calls anymore, and if he could come over.

I said he couldn't, and if he did I would call the police.

He asked where I was, and I told him I was at my parent's house (a lie).
Apparently he had been driving around all night looking for me, because toward the end of the call, I heard him enter the back door. He immediately reached my door and started banging on it, saying "let me in" (the door was locked.
I told him to get lost or I would call the police, but then he kicked down the door. Ok, at this point, I was half dressed because I had been changing.

I was dialing 9-11, when he knocked the phone out of my hands in the scuffle (like my dream).

From all the noise, my roommates came in, and one of them had a gun. They told him to leave immediately. He left at this point.

I then called the police and they came by and got my report at 4 am in the morning. They called him and later that night and he turned himself in.

This morning he has an arraignment. The prosecutorís office called to question me more.

I pray I get a no-contact order out of this.

This weekend, I couldn't eat, sleep, or function. I've felt sick from being traumatized.

This morning, I felt GREAT!! I'm free, and no one is going to harrass me at all hours of the night. No one will be stalking me, no one will try to control me.

(let's hope they don't let him out w\out a no contact order.)

I would like to thank you all for guiding me to make the right decision about this relationship. You gave me a mirror (along with the DV hotline, friends) that I had a hard time seeing by myself.

I may not have been ready in the past to leave the relationship, but the constant patient support and identification of wrong behaviors slowly influenced me to make the right choice.

I want to share that the best thing that happened to be was receiving supportive, patience, avaliability from friends, and information about what is unhealthy. The constant flow of information over a period of time has had a huge effect on me.

I owe many of you my life, my happiness, and my respect.

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!

 
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Old 08-22-2005, 09:42 AM   #2
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Wow...GGF~ although this was rather scarey I think that it actually worked out perfectly!!! You will definitely get an order of protection out of this expecially since he admitted to everything. And you have witnesses This was a blessing in disguise....I bet that roommate with the gun scared the ****** out of him

Anyway....I still think that you need to change your life as much as possible since orders of protection will only protect you so much. If a guy is wacky enough he may snap and follow you and do the unmentionable....you should definitely meet with your friends, family, work and do everything to protect yourself....almost like a new identity. He sounds like he may try to stalk you so anything you can do to protect yourself is a MUST!!!

I am so glad that you are ok and thank God your roomates were home.....thank God ~ (((HUGS))) ~ Goody

 
Old 08-22-2005, 10:01 AM   #3
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Wow, how scary that must have been for you! Like Goody said, you still need to take extra steps to protect yourself. Sometimes an order of protection gives a false sense of security, when in reality if someone really wants to hurt you, it is not going to stop them. Im glad you came out of this ok, but dont let your guard down just yet. Stay Safe!

 
Old 08-22-2005, 10:28 AM   #4
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Wow, what a frightening story!

I am sorry to tell you that you are not safe yet; not at all.

Your ex has demonstrated that he is willling and capable of crossing the line, breaking into your home, and assaulting you.

You were LUCKY that you had roommates and one of them had the wherewhithal to point a gun at him - you are also extremely lucky that your ex did not challenge your roommate or somebody might have ended up shot - and it MIGHT not have been your ex.

Several of us on this forum saw the dangers early on and warned you. As you know, I was one of those who red-flagged him as dangerous. Now, I am telling you that you are at more risk than before because he has demonstrated a willingness to stalk you AND act violently.

There is a very good chance that his arrest will not deter him and neither will a restraining order. He might have spend a night in jail, but he will be out if he isn't already.

Sadly, your best chance is to move FAR away. You should consider moving to another state - farther than driving distance.

People with mental illness and violent tendancies are very dangerous. They do not listen to reason and they are not afraid of the law.

I am sad for your situation. It could happen to anybody.

 
Old 08-22-2005, 02:43 PM   #5
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Holy cow, GLO!!!!! Thank goodness your roommates were home!!

They HAVE to give you an order of protection now!!! That maniac is out of control!!

Stay strong and please, please STAY SAFE!!!!

Shelly

Last edited by ibeeshell; 08-22-2005 at 02:46 PM.

 
Old 08-22-2005, 02:52 PM   #6
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Quote:
Originally Posted by ibeeshell
Holy cow, GLO!!!!! Thank goodness your roommates were home!!

They HAVE to give you an order of protection now!!! That maniac is out of control!!

Stay strong and please, please STAY SAFE!!!!

Shelly
Yes, but you have to know that in this case, an order of protection or no-contact-order or whatever it is called locally will do you no good in this case because you are not talking about a rational human being.

As a general rule of thumb, if a closed/locked door doesn't keep you safe, neither will a court order.

I think you have to take more pro-active action for your own self-preservation.

Last edited by thghtsreal; 08-22-2005 at 02:53 PM.

 
Old 08-22-2005, 04:52 PM   #7
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Wait- maybe I should get back together with him, I think he loves me!!!


-Just kidding.

Hey, I know I'm in danger still, but can I get a hoot of congratulations??
I haven't been free for over a year.

Anyways, I got my no contact order, and therefore my freedom. When he gets out I should be living at an undisclosed location.

Whoo hoo!

thanks for all of your concern. I will take it seriously--you guys were right!

 
Old 08-22-2005, 05:17 PM   #8
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Congratulations, GGF

Now you make sure you stay safe and always be one step ahead of HIM!!!!

Love and lots of ((HUGS)) ~ Goody

 
Old 08-22-2005, 05:36 PM   #9
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Ok now THGHTS, give Glo some credit!!! She is one smart cookie and she knows what to do!!!


Good for you Glo!!!

 
Old 08-22-2005, 05:53 PM   #10
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Quote:
Originally Posted by ibeeshell
Ok now THGHTS, give Glo some credit!!! She is one smart cookie and she knows what to do!!!


Good for you Glo!!!
Yes, indeed. I am happy that glo was not hurt and that she was able to post this response for us.

Glo, tell us; was it some action you took or was it plain luck that you were not hurt or killed?

If it was some action, please advise so that others may learn from you.

We are all very glad you are alive.

 
Old 08-22-2005, 07:32 PM   #11
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Congratulations Glo, I admire your strength.

 
Old 08-24-2005, 08:20 AM   #12
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Ths,

Oh, I wasn't directing my comment at you, I definitely acknowledge your point, and a good one it is!

I'm just really happy that I'm free. Rarely in one's life do you experience being in mental prison for two years, then the thrill of being released. I'm so happy I can't process all the things I'm going to be able to do now at one time. (on a more sheer annoying point, I'm so excited that I can't eat, either- -I've dropped 6 LBS!

The X got out of prison two days ago (they told me in the middle of the night) so I had to rush to my cousin's house and spend the night. (apparently he borrowed money from a bail bondsman.) This concerns me, but then again, he needs to be able to go to work. I am swiftly moving with assistance this friday.

Thank you all.

Oh, and a 'cheers' to all the women like me who are now free. for those of you who are getting there, I'm telling you, it's worth the effort to get out now!

 
Old 08-24-2005, 08:34 AM   #13
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Quote:
Originally Posted by glogreenfrog
Ths,

Oh, I wasn't directing my comment at you, I definitely acknowledge your point, and a good one it is!

I'm just really happy that I'm free. Rarely in one's life do you experience being in mental prison for two years, then the thrill of being released. I'm so happy I can't process all the things I'm going to be able to do now at one time. (on a more sheer annoying point, I'm so excited that I can't eat, either- -I've dropped 6 LBS!

The X got out of prison two days ago (they told me in the middle of the night) so I had to rush to my cousin's house and spend the night. (apparently he borrowed money from a bail bondsman.) This concerns me, but then again, he needs to be able to go to work. I am swiftly moving with assistance this friday.

Thank you all.

Oh, and a 'cheers' to all the women like me who are now free. for those of you who are getting there, I'm telling you, it's worth the effort to get out now!
Glo, what set you free?

What are you free from?

 
Old 08-24-2005, 08:38 AM   #14
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Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Ths,

haha, you're so funny! Thanks for the advice

 
Old 08-24-2005, 11:59 AM   #15
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Ruby13 HB User
Re: PART III. He said he'll go to anger management

Hi Glo!

I'm so glad you're feeling better. I knew you'd feel happier once you let go of this guy. It's amazing all the things you give up without realizing it in that kind of a relationship. I had such a blast once I stopped having to worry about what little thing was going set my ex off.

He sounds like he's gone off the deep end. I really admire how your handling yourself.

Congratulations!

R

 
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