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Old 08-23-2005, 05:11 AM   #1
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Destiny79 HB User
Unhappy Why is life so hard sometimes?

Why is life so hard sometimes?

I've always kind of been happy with life. Always thought that 'life is what u make it' and all that. But over the past 6 months, life has got very bad for me. I'm at the point now where I feel so alone and unhappy that I just so pray that things will get better. it's mainly because i'm unhappy in love. I never realised quite how much I associate being happy in life, with being with my man. WIthout him, I just feel like I don't want to go on anymore. I so wish I could see into the future as I'd just like to know that one day I will be happy again, as maybe it would halp me get through these really bad times.

Maybe hopeful stories will help. ANyone been in a bad situation relationshipwise, but eventually found happiness in the future? Coz If I knew that there was light at the end of the tunnel, then maybe it would help me. Feel so lonely and unhappy right now. Just don't want to carry out without my honey to share my life with.

Advice please?

Plus if anyones read a book or anything that's made them apreciate life a bit more or made them really think, then that would be good as well. Recommend away. Need to keep busy, but don't feel like I can be bothered to do anything anymore. What's the point. Don't want to live the rest of my life without my honey by my side.

Why is life so hard sometimes.

 
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Old 08-23-2005, 06:11 AM   #2
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gamecock360 HB User
Re: Why is life so hard sometimes?

I know exactly how you feel. I know it hurts. My ex broke up with me about 3 months ago and then a month later ended up dating a much younger girl who used to babysit his kids. It hurt so bad but I just had to realize what he does at this point does not affect me. It's going to hurt for a while but you have to take each day at a time and know that with time things will get better.
I am still not convinced I will find someone as great as him but everyone says I will. I don't have any answers but I just want you to know that you are not alone and I am trying to figure out the same answers you are.

 
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Old 08-23-2005, 08:21 AM   #3
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mada_3083 HB User
Re: Why is life so hard sometimes?

there is light. it's bright and brilliant... again, that will fade and find you in the darkness... towards another light... which will be just a bright and brilliant... such is the circle of our lives.

but there is light... it'll sneak up on you and one day you'll find yourself smiling. or doing something so stupidly childish (my moment of realisation was a few weeks ago, when i was doing what i'd done 1 million times in my childhood, pretending the overhanging trees were waves breaking over me and i was "surfing" them)...

you'll find that light... it's brighter than the light that burns for the past loves, trust me

 
Old 08-23-2005, 06:11 PM   #4
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EddieDean HB User
Re: Why is life so hard sometimes?

It seems like many times the media, our families, and our friends tell us that our main goal in life is to get married and be with someone else. We spend so much of our lives living for other people! And now, you have the freedom to live for YOU....to do the things you always wanted to do and be free. Embrace your friends, but don't let them hook you up. Go to clubs and dance, take a yoga class, write in a journal...do things that you might not have time for if you were "with someone." And most of all, realize that this life is SO short and one day you will look back and wonder where it all went. You don't want your memories to be of you wishing for love, do you? Take charge of your life and realize how precious and special each person and each moment is.

It was at that exact moment in my life....where I let go of an old relationship and truly came to terms with being single....that I found my current guy. My only regret is that I didn't have more time to truly love and live for myself. I'm still trying to do that every day!

Two of my favorite books of all time, both dealing with the importance each life has:

The Little Prince (Antoine Saint-Exupery)
A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)


Those would be a good start for positive mental health!

 
Old 08-23-2005, 06:50 PM   #5
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Why is life so hard sometimes?

Here are the highlights leading up to my Happy Story beginning at age 19:
1) Lived with a guy for 3 yrs. - alcoholic, passive-aggressive, and yes - I loved him. Left after I realized that love didn't mean being abused.
2) Met and fell madly in love with a guy that I dated (or was engaged to) off and on for almost 11 yrs. It just never seemed to get anywhere.
In between:
3) Met a guy who chose a girl of his own religious denomination and broke up with me.
4) Met a guy at work who was a great guy & friend but wasn't interested in a relationship with me.
5) Was engaged to a guy who dumped me for the girl who had dumped him before we met.

Well, you get the picture - these are just the highlights of my 24 yrs of being single (19 - 35) and never - I mean NEVER - having something work out.
All my friends get married, have babies, I look in the Sunday paper at all the engagements and I'm STILL not there....
The phrase "What's wrong with me" was a familiar one.

Well, 6 months after I was dumped by guy #5 and 5 YEARS after I met guy #4 above, guy #4 picks me up for dinner and brings one of his friends.
Voila!
Mr. Ruth!!

Everything changed. Not that bad things don't happen - we've had 2 real fights in 16 yrs, my Dad died, I've had some health issues and took time off from working for 2 yrs, Mr. Ruth bought into a business and is gone - alot - now.

But all that drama when I was dating all the guys who weren't right for me?
And trying to MAKE them right for me - to make it work?
That's all gone.
It's honestly like finally finding that Calm Harbor after 24 yrs in raging seas.

To be honest, if I could do it all over again I would have rather done without all the other relationships and waiting for this one....
Where I sat across the table from someone and felt so absolutely in the right place, at the right time, with the right person.

Of course then I'd have NO knowledge of relationships and wouldn't be here so much!
(Good relationships aren't generally the type that get discussed here and I really thank you for giving some of us here the chance!)
Welcome!

 
Old 08-24-2005, 12:37 AM   #6
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beck12 HB User
Re: Why is life so hard sometimes?

Life & relationships are hard plain & simple. I was lucky & didn't know it. I met my hubby when I was 18 & we dated for 8 great & difficult years before we married. All that time I tried to make him into the perfect guy for me & thank goodness that all along he didn't change & had the patience to let me come to the realization that he was perfect the day I met him, I just had the wrong glasses on. Together we have been through some really difficult & dark places & through it all we have each grown to be better & stronger for it. I always knew I loved him & wanted this to work, I just didn't realize that I could quit holding on with white knuckles & let him be who he was & that would be great all on it's own. I know right now it probably sounds like a lot of fluff, but we have been trying to start a family, and we experienced our 2nd miscarriage in the last 6 months this past weekend. As I layed crying & sick on the bathroom floor, he layed nose to nose on that floor with me, rubbing my back & telling me he loved me. Love's greatest moments are often found in the most unexpected & sometimes dark moments when we are literally on the edge of that dark abyss. Please have faith that the love I speak of is out there for us all if we just allow it to be in the package it arrives in, instead of supposing that we know what that package should look like. I wish you the best of luck in finding that for your own heart & I highly recommend "In the Meantime" by Iyanla VanZandt. It changed the way I looked at each day & what I was hoping to find in a relationship.

 
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