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Old 08-23-2005, 03:26 PM   #1
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Aaron00 HB User
Meeting girls/Boys

So i have this little problem and i dont know if it fits in this fourm but here goes. I always see girls i like and want to talk to but i just dont know how to go about it with out feeling like a creep just trying to hit on a girl say off the street or in the bar. Im really not a creep. and i have always had girl friends but they have always aproched me and not the other way around. Just want to know how girls out there feel about random guys trying to talk and how a situation like that can go any further then "well nice to meet you" and your on your way. Im sick of trying to meet people in bars. I think that has got to be the worst place to meet a signifagant other. Well now that I feel embaresed i will leave it at that. Thanks for reading.

 
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Old 08-23-2005, 03:46 PM   #2
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glamourgal HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

Hi Aaron ,

I agree with you about meeting people in bars---I do know of a few lucky people who have met their SO in a bar, but most of the people I have met in a bar/club have just turned out to be weird . I would LOVE it if a nice, decent guy approached me ---as long as they acted normal and didn't make any comments that would make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe you could just say "hi, how are you doing today?" and smile. Then if they smile back and seem happy that you spoke to them, carry the conversation on a little further--talk about the weather, just small talk, etc... and if they seem into the conversation and into you, then maybe ask for their phone number and say something like you really enjoyed talking to them and maybe next time you guys could talk over lunch--or coffee or something. Anyway, from a girl's perspective, I would LOVE it if something like that happened to me, so go for it!!!! (And let us know how it works out !!)

Last edited by glamourgal; 08-23-2005 at 03:48 PM.

 
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Old 08-23-2005, 07:00 PM   #3
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degen95 HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

i think you should try online dating. see online dating thread on this page. everyone seems to be happy with the many options they seem to have.

well, i think you have been lucky to have girls approach you. in my life, i've never ever had a girl come up and talk to me (unless she wanted to copy my homework or something.. lol!!). so consider yourself lucky. as to approaching girls, i think its a lot of fun. you have nothing at all to lose since they were'nt your gf to being with. worst case scenario, you will have some interesting stories to tell your guy friends.

also be aware that approaching random girls is a numbers game. its not just "one and done" and you get the phone number. the simple truth is that most girls that you might approach will already have bf, or just not emotionally available or in some cases, they might be blown away that you did it, they react the wrong way and send you the wrong signal then the moment becomes uncomfortable. its a low percentage method but its doesn't have a zero chance of success and since your healthboards handle isn't degen95 it might just work so i'd go for it. in the end, i rank networking as the best way to meet girls, online dating, a close second, class/sporting/activity clubs as third and random approaches as the last.

as far as bars/clubs go, i'm wary of the environment myself. in every dance club in my area there is at least 10 guys to one girl (i've done the statistics before). i'm a pretty good dancer and i've danced with thousands of girls. none of them are interested in getting to know anybody.

girls that go to clubs just want to tease, or "hook up" with the right (i.e. hot) guy. you might get a number but they'll flake out on you. another thing that hurts is that all girls also automatically assume that the guys that go there want sex only and never consider that you might just want to get to know them, so, i'd forget about bars/clubs unless you're like me and are a good dancer and just wants to go to have fun and NOTHING MORE.

 
Old 08-23-2005, 09:02 PM   #4
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

Quote:
Originally Posted by glamourgal
Hi Aaron ,

I agree with you about meeting people in bars---I do know of a few lucky people who have met their SO in a bar, but most of the people I have met in a bar/club have just turned out to be weird . I would LOVE it if a nice, decent guy approached me ---as long as they acted normal and didn't make any comments that would make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe you could just say "hi, how are you doing today?" and smile. Then if they smile back and seem happy that you spoke to them, carry the conversation on a little further--talk about the weather, just small talk, etc... and if they seem into the conversation and into you, then maybe ask for their phone number and say something like you really enjoyed talking to them and maybe next time you guys could talk over lunch--or coffee or something. Anyway, from a girl's perspective, I would LOVE it if something like that happened to me, so go for it!!!! (And let us know how it works out !!)
I agree with Glamour, many girls would love to be approached by a nice guy. It doesn't matter if it's a bar or maybe a cafe, as long as the guy talks in an intelligent way, doesn't seem too pushy or obnoxious, and is nicely dressed, I think a lot of women would be receptive. I met my ex-bf at a local laundromat, so yes, these things do happen. I don't even remember what exactly he said, but it could have been something as simple as "Do you live in the neighborhood?" It seems easier to talk to people who have something in common with you, like living in the same area, working in the same building, etc. I was once approached by a guy who worked in the same building but for a different company and we had a nice date together. Unfortunately, I am now working for such a small company where everyone is older and married, and all the students in my graduate program are women, so I hardly have an opportunity to meet men in person anymore. I don't really like online dating that much, but there seems to be no choice. There's still something more genuine and romantic about meeting in person. Good luck to you, and please let us know how it goes!

Last edited by SophiaM; 08-23-2005 at 09:06 PM.

 
Old 08-23-2005, 09:03 PM   #5
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thghtsreal HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

I knew when disco died that things were going to get difficult for boys and girls to meet each other. Suddenly, people had to talk with each other and somehow be clever enough in conversation to be worthy of further interaction. Ugh!

You would think that would mean the smart guys (who couldn't dance) would suddenly be the winners because they naturally had more interesting things to talk about, but it didn't turn out that way.

Bars seem like a tough place to meet people, but not really because you have chemicals on your side. Remember, however, that alcohol will only do you favors if it is someone else drinking it. Have you ever heard the expression, "I drink to make other people more interesting"? There is a lot of truth to that. YOU will not be more interesting if YOU drink, but YOU will be more interesting and funny if SHE drinks.

So the best way to get started is to talk with ladies who already have some magic elixer in them. Keep your eyes open and you will find them. They are the ones who CAN'T keep THEIR eyes open. They are the ones who's eyes close when they smile and who's mouths go slack when they open their eyes. It is a funny deal - but pay attention next time and see if I am right about that. Yup, these are the magic elixer ladies and they are usually willing to talk with you.

What to say? Just say, "Hi, my name is Jake". Jake is always a good name because Jake is one of the few names a drunk can pronounce right to the end of the night. jaaaaake, JaAAAke Where did you go, JAAAAAAKE??!! Where is jAAeekk? Hvae yuo sheen my boyfriend JAAAAaaeekee?"

Anyway, so your name is Jake. Then you say, "Hey haven't I seen you at the gym?" She will say, "what gym?" and you then cleverly say,"Why? what gym do you go to?". She will say something like, "I go to the YWCA, why?" and you say" blah, blah, blah".. you get the idea and you see where this is going. Drive it any way you want. Remember, if she has enough magic elixer in her,you will be pretty interesting and clever no matter what you say or even if you have something stuck to your tooth and something hanging out of your nose.

I guess if there is one word of advise I should give you is to NEVER kiss the magic elixer ladies no matter how much they beg you. First of all, they stinks really bad and it can sour your positive opinion of them. Second of all, passionate kisses sometimes makes the magic elixer want to get back closer to the kissing action if you know what I mean. That spoils all the fun and makes all your clever conversation be for nothing.

Well, I could go on and on with how to meet chicks at bars, but there are plenty of other great suggestions from other people on this forum, so I don't want to steal their thunder.

Go get 'em, Tiger!

Last edited by thghtsreal; 08-23-2005 at 09:10 PM.

 
Old 08-23-2005, 09:22 PM   #6
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

Quote:
Originally Posted by thghtsreal
So the best way to get started is to talk with ladies who already have some magic elixer in them. Keep your eyes open and you will find them. They are the ones who CAN'T keep THEIR eyes open. They are the ones who's eyes close when they smile and who's mouths go slack when they open their eyes. It is a funny deal - but pay attention next time and see if I am right about that. Yup, these are the magic elixer ladies and they are usually willing to talk with you.
Thgtsreal, you are such a bizarre contradiction in terms. First you brought tears to my eyes when you were talking about your wife and your father and mother in such an endearing way, and yet on other occasions such as now, your comments (though funny) sound so sexist and downright crude. It's almost insulting to the poster to suggest he should try chatting up women who are drunk out of their mind in bars. As if he couldn't do better, or as if a sober woman would want nothing to do with him. I sincerely hope you were either under the influence of the "magic elixir" yourself while writing the above or you're a stand-up comedian currently without work who finds an outlet here. Besides, even if he were to take this seriously, this would be a very near-sighted solution, for the drunken "chick" would inevitably sober up sooner or later, and then what? She would probably not even remember who he is. And who needs all that drool on them anyway just for a measly "date"?

 
Old 08-23-2005, 09:35 PM   #7
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thghtsreal HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
Thgtsreal, you are such a bizarre contradiction in terms. First you brought tears to my eyes when you were talking about your wife and your father and mother in such an endearing way, and yet on other occasions such as now, your comments (though funny) sound so sexist and downright crude. It's almost insulting to the poster to suggest he should try chatting up women who are drunk out of their mind in bars. As if he couldn't do better, or as if a sober woman would want nothing to do with him. I sincerely hope you were either under the influence of the "magic elixir" yourself while writing the above or you're a stand-up comedian currently without work who finds an outlet here. Besides, even if he were to take this seriously, this would be a very near-sighted solution, for the drunken "chick" would inevitably sober up sooner or later, and then what? She would probably not even remember who he is. And who needs all that drool on them anyway just for a measly "date"?
OK, OK, Everybody, for those of you who did not figure it out, I was just joking in my previous post. Please fellows, don't talk to drunk women at bars (unless it is our friend here Sophie. ).

Of course, you can all do better than meeting drunks at bars, so please keep up your self-esteem and talk only to rational, intelligent women who are at bars sober (?). Be sure you are sober yourself, of course. Then you will both be sober at the bar and you can strike up a conversations as to what the hell you two are doing at a bar in the first place.

(P.S., Sophie, I am still just kidding around. I am not trying to mock you or anything - just fooling around on the forums and keeping it on the light side

With love from Jake (still just kidding - my name isn't Jake. Really)

Last edited by thghtsreal; 08-23-2005 at 09:44 PM.

 
Old 08-23-2005, 10:05 PM   #8
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

Quote:
Originally Posted by thghtsreal
Of course, you can all do better than meeting drunks at bars, so please keep up your self-esteem and talk only to rational, intelligent women who are at bars sober (?). Be sure you are sober yourself, of course. Then you will both be sober at the bar and you can strike up a conversations as to what the hell you two are doing at a bar in the first place.

(P.S., Sophie, I am still just kidding around. I am not trying to mock you or anything - just fooling around on the forums and keeping it on the light side

With love from Jake (still just kidding - my name isn't Jake. Really)
Tights, I figured you were just kidding--but still, in case the poster was going to take these suggestions to heart, I thought he should be forewarned Seriously though, as much as we all shun bars, I know a few couples who met at bars. But we're not talking about some dingy watering holes full of murky individuals who find it a challenge to maintain their upright position. I'm talking about the nice, more upscale bars where professional people go to have a drink after work, etc. Or artsy bars where the more creative types hang out. There's a huge difference. Although I don't personally go to bars too often. I don't like drinking in public LOL.

 
Old 08-24-2005, 07:35 AM   #9
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Aaron00 HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

Thghtsreal your crazy!!! lol and thanks for the positive feed back guys!!!

 
Old 08-24-2005, 08:51 AM   #10
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mada_3083 HB User
Re: Meeting girls/Boys

live your life as you want to.

do the activities you want, join the clubs that interest you... your ideal mate will be there, because you'll share interests, that way you won't have to change yourself to fit in with the new mate...

internet dating has it's pitfalls, it's not the bastion of hope that it's made out to be. by an ironic twist of fate however it has worked out for me on occasions.

 
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