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Old 08-23-2005, 04:52 PM   #1
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Jessums18 HB User
Plz help. Not sure what I'm doin.

ok I apollogize if this gets too long. My bf and I have been dating for almost 9 months now. I've posted things on here before about our fights and we've gotten through them. Well almost 2 wks ago he got in a mood where he didn't want to talk(he gets that way sometimes and I really don't think it's his fault and usually I'm okay with it I just let him talk to me when he feels like talking again.) It just happend that I really needed/wanted to talk to him. I hadn't seen him in about a week and hadn't really had a good conversation with him. So I got upset and tried to make him understand how it was making me feel. It honestly hurt me and made me feel like he just didn't care about me. Well I talked to him the next day about it and he said he was sorry and he's not sure why he does it, so I just let it go for the moment b/c I wanted to just have a good day with him. Well now it seems like everytime we talk I get mad about something and then he ends up mad at me b/c he thinks I shouldn't get mad about it. It's not like I'm just pretending I'm mad it's truely how I feel and I can't change it. Well one fight was about him talking to his exgf(at school) who still likes him and even though he says he doesn't like her it still hurts/upsets me that he does it. Another fight just happend today b/c I wanted to take him out to a movie on friday and he said no b/c he's going to his older friends how(where about six other guys spend the night too) and I got upset b/c drinking and drugs go on there and I just really wish he wouldn't do it. Plus his friend's sister was the first person he slept with.(And when he told me he was going over there the 1st thing he said was his sister doesn't live there anymore. I just wonder how he knew this b/c that had to mean that he asked if she was still there. Maybe I just think to much. Part of me just thinks he's hiding something. Another thing is I have trust issues b/c of pretty much all my ex's left me for their exgf. I just want to know if I'm going about this the wrong way. I'm just so sick of everyday fighting. I love him more than anything and I don't want to just give up on him. I would really like some advice from everyone especially guys. Thanks for yalls help.

 
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Old 08-24-2005, 05:57 AM   #2
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netle HB User
Re: Plz help. Not sure what I'm doin.

So... What do you see in this guy?

He's doing drugs and drinking which are things you apparantly dissaprove of. He also cheated on you with another girl. So why are you hanging around? Are you telling me that you cannot do any better than this?

 
Old 08-24-2005, 08:35 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2005
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Jessums18 HB User
Re: Plz help. Not sure what I'm doin.

well an update on this situation I called him last night and I told him that I think taking a break is what we need and that just killed me to tell him that. he said he wants us to go somewhere but he needs time to himself first. he said he needs to do what he wants right now without having me trying to tell him what i wish he would do. he says he loves me and promises that he'll come back. I'm just really scared right now. I'm going to see him today so I can get my stuff back that I have over there. I found out last night that he has recently became friends with his exgf that is in his school. She even calls and talks to him sometimes and that's the thing that bothers me. everyone knows that she still likes him and he tells me that he couldn't get back with her b/c of how she was the 1st time they dated. He just doesn't understand why this hurts me b/c their just friends. the thing is this is how we started dating. he was dating the girl he's "just friends" with right now and I was the new friend that he was talking to. he said he's sick of everyone telling him that it's wrong to talk to "his friend". One of his best friends even told me that he can't understand why he is doing this to me. I just think it's karma or something. But I've made a decision. I'm goin over there today and I'm gonna ask him one thing and I'm going to tell him to give me an honest answer and I won't say anything about it I'll just leave. I'm going to ask him if he thinks he would ever give his exgf/friend another chance with him. And I will know if he's lying. If he says yes then I know it's completly over with us.

 
Old 08-26-2005, 09:18 AM   #4
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Location: WI
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portrgirl HB User
Re: Plz help. Not sure what I'm doin.

What would you tell a good friend who was with a guy like your boyfriend?

Hopefully, GET OUT.

Do you WANT a guy who wants to take a break from you?
Don't you think you DESERVE a guy who wants to be with you and cares about what you think and feel?

I don't even know you, but I think you do. Do yourself a favor and find someone better than this guy, even if it is just the company of yourself (who I bet you'll like a lot) and friends.

(As I've suggested to others, go buy "He's Just Not That Into You." Read it cover to cover. Then think about your relationship. If you still think that this guy likes you / is good for you, read it again. You're not the acception, you're the rule.)

 
Old 08-27-2005, 06:10 AM   #5
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Piranna65 HB User
Re: Plz help. Not sure what I'm doin.

I think telling him you wanted a break is a good move. I know this may be upsetting but the two of you may not hook back up. And in your case I think it would be better to avoid a future relationship with this guy.

I know all relationships have the scawbles but not every time to see one another. And im sorry but if he's still playing the "im not talking" to you game then hes got some growing up to do...a lot of it!

 
Old 08-27-2005, 08:26 AM   #6
Junior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Georgia
Posts: 13
Jessums18 HB User
Re: Plz help. Not sure what I'm doin.

well I have been thinking for the past 3 days about everything and I've been getting information from his/my friend. according to our friend after we "took a break" my bf didnt seem to act any different. he wasnt sad, upset or anything and that told me something. then our friend told me that I should just get over it b/c my bf said that he was actually relieve that we had done this. and to top it all off my bf told our friend that he was going to go out with the exgf/friend/about to be gf this weekend. so yea Ive come to the conclusion that its all excuses. he had me right where he wanted me. sitting there all sad waiting on him to finish things up with his ex. and I almost fell for it but I got smart and called him. he was at his friends house and it sounded more like a party b/c I could hear girls in the background too and that just did it for me. I said I need to say something and he says ok. I said its over and he says ok. then Im trying to say something else to him and he starts saying stuff to others and then he says I cant talk right now my minutes arent free Ill call you when Im home.....if you want. I just said whatever and we said bye. I do hope he calls me b/c theres a few things Id like to say to him and I need to get ALL my stuff back. me being stupid I went over there and only took some of it b/c I believed that he was coming back. I still feel just awful and I just cant believe that I was with this guy for that long. our friend told me that my well ex bf I should be saying told him that things have been stress for a few months. it pisses me off that hes felt like this for months and doesnt have the guts to say anything and it pisses me off more that I didnt realize it. but whatever Im thinking of just writing him a letter and calling his mom b4 he gets back home and just seeing if I can come get my stuff b4 he gets there and leave him the letter. Id really like to say the stuff to his face but he will probably not let me come over.

 
Old 08-27-2005, 09:56 AM   #7
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,082
Piranna65 HB User
Re: Plz help. Not sure what I'm doin.

i know it upsets you, heck who wouldnt be upset right. Just know that you may not get the closure and answers your looking for. Many relationships end without one or bothing getting the closure they would like...

Im sorry for you loss in this, but at least you now have bigger and better things to look foward to, goodluck in the future!

 
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