Re: I feel guilty
Jessica, I don't think anyone needs to tell you how badly things can turn out when you enter into a relationship out of feelings of guilt or obligation rather than genuine affection. I know you feel that not teling him the truth would be sparing his feelings, but I've also struggled with assertiveness all through my life, and one big lesson that I've learned the hard way is that as nice as you think you're being by pulling punches and sugar-coating things, the truth will always come out, and the fact is, not being honest from the getgo always makes things worse. You're not doing this guy any favors by not being honest with him and by making plans to see him out of guilt when you really have no feelings for him. You have every right to lose interest and to not want to see him. You have less of a right to not be up front about it and lead him on and continue to accept gifts from him when you know you don't feel the things he thinks you feel. If it were me, I'd immediately return all the gifts if they were over, say, $20 each, and tell him you just don't see this going anywhere. When you really stop to think about it, being passive and scared is really sort of a selfish way to deal with this. I mean, it's not really fair to make him think he still has a chance and that you still like him and you both are going forward in this relationship just because you're too chicken to tell him the truth. By bein assertive and letting him know now what the real deal is, you're being fair to him AND to yourself.
Last edited by Hiya; 08-27-2005 at 01:33 PM.