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Old 08-27-2005, 09:26 PM   #1
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veggie girl HB User
I'm so shallow

I have a boyfriend who I've been dating for about 2 years. Now, he's a really sweet, kind guy but I'm not entirely attracted to him - he's not really my 'type' physically (or personality-wise for that matter) - though i do love him dearly.

Lately, I've been seeing so preoccupied with cute guys I see. I haven't cheat on my bf and never would, but why can't I stop being so boy-crazy?

 
Old 08-28-2005, 07:29 AM   #2
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Re: I'm so shallow

B/C your needs are not being met with this guy. You can love him like a brother, and you'll never be as happy as you are with a guy you are completely hot over--and him hot for you. C'mon!! It's not shallow!! It's the truth.

We are all so afraid to say this kind of thing out loud, but we shouldn't be. Life is too darn short to not be blissfully happy in ALL areas of your life. It's your life--live it to the fullest. If you want a hotter guy, one you are crazy about--than go get one.

I lived for 10 yrs with someone like that, and told myself it was fine cuz he was my husband--and that's the way everyone was over time. NOT!!! There is great passion, and way, way better ways to feel other than warmly toward someone. I don't know about you, but I don't want warm. I want HOT!! For that I make no apologies--call me shallow if ya want--I call myself someone who knows what she wants and refuses to settle anymore.

Heck--I was with a hot 23 yr old last night. I'm much older than he. He's way hotter than my hubby was, and I had a great time. Color me shallow---but I'm living my life and loving every minute of it.

 
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Old 08-28-2005, 08:07 AM   #3
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joy78 HB User
Re: I'm so shallow

You are not shallow. If this guy isn't really your type, I would start thinking about how happy you are in the relationship. What worries me is that you said he isn't your type personality wise. There might be something missing in the relationship and I would venture to guess that the deep connection you need to really be in love with him (not just love him but be compeltley in love) isn't quiet there. I don't want to make any assumptions because I'm not you, but these are just things to think about.

I was just in a similiar situation. I was dating my boyfriend for about a year and the entire time I knew that his feelings for me were stronger than my feelings for him. Physically he was great, and personality wise he was great, BUT there was still something missing for me that kept me from completley falling in love with him. I grew to love him, but I never completley fell in love. It took him proposing for me to realize something wasn't quiet right. It was really difficult but I did break up with him, because I do want that passion and deep love. The point of this is, you really should evaluate how much you want to be with him and be honest with yourself and your boyfriend. I'm not saying you need to break up or anything like that, but this is a good time to listen to your heart do what is right for you.

Good Luck!

 
Old 08-28-2005, 08:19 AM   #4
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netle HB User
Re: I'm so shallow

There's more to having a good relationship than being with someone who likes you and is a nice person. You need to be attracted to each other both physically and mentally.

You're not getting this from your boyfriend. This doesn't make you shallow and it doesn't make you a bad person. Nor does it make him "not good enough". You're simply not compatible. You deserve to be with someone you're really into and he deserves to be with someone who is really into him.

 
Old 08-28-2005, 09:28 AM   #5
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ibeeshell HB User
Re: I'm so shallow

Veggie,

When you are TRULY in love, your partner will look wonderful to you. You will be very attracted to your man!!

I say that you may think you love this guy you are with now, but you know deep down that you don't LOVE him!

Cut the ties and go out on a search for MR. Right. Remember to be blinded for a bit by Mr. Lust!!LOL That's always fun!!! But you will find the right one soon!

Good luck!

 
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