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Old 08-28-2005, 06:33 PM   #1
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A Girls Motives..??!

Alright this is whats up. I am a recently turned 16 yr old. I got into this little {removed} thing online a couple of months ago. I wasnt too into and im stil not. But I met this 17 yr old girl that lives a couple miles away from me We talk and have pretty god conversations. She says im good looking or "Hot" ha. She would compare me to her other Boy friends and I would be the better comparison. Also even before I could she said we should get together sometime. I said yes of course. She would tell me how she likes to be hugged and even her special place she likes to be kissed for when we meet I guess. Yup it's been the whole summer and we still havent gotten together. We've planned to a good amount of times but she always seems to be busy doing soemtihng or forgets about it and plans something else afterward. Im not angered about this at all im just kinda iffy about her now. Its what the title is,What is this girls motives. Is she just seducing me and not too interested or she is and shes just pretty bad at planning stuff. What do you think :/. (If need more info or w/e go ahead and ask I suppose)

Last edited by Modinatrix21; 08-29-2005 at 10:36 PM. Reason: Read posting rules. No websites.

 
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Old 08-29-2005, 07:28 AM   #2
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Maybe once it moved beyond fantasy and into the real thing, she isn't interested. She's in it for the fantasy.

You guys are young. I reckon she is playing with you. Maybe she doesn't have any intention of meeting with you. She's enjoying the conversations and feels safe.

Go with the flow and enjoy what she can offer.

 
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Old 08-29-2005, 09:52 AM   #3
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Eh yeah I see, But shes even talked to me and said that she realy wants to meet me asap. But hey those are just words.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 06:18 PM   #4
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Yep, they are just words. Her inaction tells you her real desire.

If she really wants to meet you asap, then you would have already met. Believe me. A girl can go out of her way, make time in her day. if she really wants to meet a guy. Think about how you are feeling. You would make time in your day to meet her.

She might have said that to you, to keep you going. String you along...

Have fun in the process though.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 06:24 PM   #5
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Aren't you guys at all scared to meet someone you met online? I mean, you could be a 50 yr old child molester for all she knows. I just don't understand how people are so trusting as to do this. I really have to go talk to my 14 yr old daughter about this again. Worries me to no end that young people meet this way and meet inperson. I sure hope you go to a very public place. Maybe she is scared--have you planned to meet somewhere very public??

 
Old 08-29-2005, 07:29 PM   #6
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Um well I met this girl on this called {removed} and there you get to see pictures of the persona dn I guess to amke sure they are some 50 yr old molestor have them send oyu a picture right then and there online. But yeah idk she says this coming up labor day weekend sometime. But it hasnt always been her not being able to hang out I havent been able to a few times but yeah I realy doubt shes that kind of girl to jsut play with me and say stuff and not have the intention of meeting me. But who knows.

Last edited by Modinatrix21; 08-29-2005 at 10:37 PM. Reason: Read posting rules. No websites.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 07:52 PM   #7
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Laurie, my attitude toward online dating is that I'd rather meet potentially sketchy guys that way, because they don't know any of my identifying information (email, phone #, address, full name, etc.) which the site keeps private until and unless I choose to share it with them. I definitely always meet guys somewhere public and make sure they arrive and leave first so as not to follow me or find out my address through my license plates. To me that's a lot safer than dating in real life, when people can use even a seemingly innocuous piece of information such as your phone number to look up your address online within seconds. I know that online dating has a sketchy reputation, but it's really more sex chat rooms and stuff that have problems as far as luring children to molesters and other horror stories like that. The truth is, as anyone who has actually tried online dating will tell you (at this point, really the only people who are really against it seem to be people who are lonely, unhappy, and bitter that they are too scared of rejection to try something that seems to provide satisfactory, even impressive, results for others), today at most sites, it's a very mainstream thing to do. You can end up meeting a psycho online, but you can just as easily meet one in real life and be fooled into dating him and providing your personal information. I think online dating is actually safer because in addition to the anonyminity it provides, people are always on guard against any shady meeting scenarios or giving out information while they might not be so cautious about avoiding such sketchy situations in a real life atmosphere. I really think that nowadays, at least among people in their early to mid twenties like me, online dating is extremely common among attractive and popular people and no longer carries the stigma of being the exclusive domain of geeks and losers with no chance of getting any dates the old-fashioned way. It's so fun and convenient to be able to search through millions of pictures and informative profiles all in the privacy of your own home, without having to reveal so much as your real email address unless you specifically choose to after conversing with a potential date for some time. I do think it's important to take precautions like always telling someone where you are going, your date's name and phone number, and that you will check in when you plan to be home so they know everything is okay. And always meet in a public, well-lit place, refusing to allow the guy to pick you up or even walk you to your car until you get to know him better. If you keep your wits about you and remember that it's always better to be a little paranoid and safe than careless and sorry later, I think online dating is actually a little less dangerous than real life dating, as we tend to be less guarded about protecting our safety when we have the false comfort of "knowing" someone we just met in person rather than being suspicious as we are with online dates.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 08:03 PM   #8
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Thanks for the great insight to online dating, Eaglesgirl!! It is interesting to me, and it's true you probably tend to be less aware of dangers when meeting someone the "old fashioned" way, b/c somehow you feel like you know them, or can tell something by the way they act or look. Interesting.


Up til now, I can't feel comfortable going out with someone I don't know. I'm much more comfortable in groups, and then once we are friends, I can go out with them one on one. Lowers my prospects that way tho. Maybe someday I won't be that uncomfprtable, but now it just causes me anxiety to even think about it. Weird, guess I'm just not ready.

I do enjoy this young guy tho, and I'm not letting the age thing bother me. To the contrary--I'm actually finding it quite exciting. It must be a control thing, b/c my X was very controlling for 12 yrs--and I'm recently cut loose from that. Wound up with Joe, and he denied he was controlling at all, but lots of signs point to the fact that he really was and it would have gotten worse.

Hope you have a great night.

 
Old 08-29-2005, 08:46 PM   #9
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Umm Ok that's nice and all but that has nothing to with my first post. Only about online dating. But idc I didnt ask for that. Pretty pointless and yeah. Ha ok

 
Old 08-29-2005, 08:51 PM   #10
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Ok, ok, so we hijacked your post a bit, sorry!! If she keeps blowing you off--blow her off and move on. Happy now?

 
Old 08-29-2005, 09:00 PM   #11
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

I know what she is doing. My friends call this the "emergency b/f" sounds like she wants you thier incase she has noone she can fallback on you. Move on friend you should be #1 or a memory.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 06:19 AM   #12
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

So getting back to this girl, if she says she's coming up on Labour Day then that's a good thing. You guys can hang out, somewhere safe to make her feel secure, and get to know each other. Take her out for a coffee. Lots of relationships start with a great cup of coffee.

However, if she doesn't make it, and then comes up with a lame excuse, what will you think then?

I reckon don't push the issue. If it is going to happen, let it happen in good time. What's the rush? If it is meant to happen with this girl, you've got all the time in the world.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 06:44 AM   #13
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chagi0604
I know what she is doing. My friends call this the "emergency b/f" sounds like she wants you thier incase she has noone she can fallback on you. Move on friend you should be #1 or a memory.

This was my thought as well, but it is also possible that she is just really insecure. Maybe she thinks she isnt good looking enough for you, since you said she said you were hotter than her past boyfriends. Maybe this is a Cyrano de Bergerac style case and she sent you someone elses picture?

 
Old 08-30-2005, 02:06 PM   #14
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Well, the plan for meeting this labour day weekend it's the same with both of us, it depends on if we go up north or not. So yeah another time again. And no she has pictures of herself she posts new ones frequently. And she didn't say I was like hoter than her old Boyfriends exactly but she did say i ahve better qualities that them like umm idk im more her height she did say and other things I can't realy recall. Oh yeah that's funyn cause she says she likes to go to this Java Hutt coffe place alot and hang out. But yeah Im not a fan of Coffe, but doesn't mean I cant get something else.But yes yes I do understand this is something that will take time and if it to be then it will happen. Im jsut curious on what people thought of this and to get other peoples Ideas what her motives are.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 07:03 PM   #15
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Re: A Girls Motives..??!

Yep, I know what you mean. It's good to read other ideas. Even if it just confirms your own. At least you know you if you are off the mark completely, or spot on.

Good luck, and yes, you're right, you don't have to have coffee! But it looks like coffee for her is the way to go. Make her feel comfortable.

 
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