Some of you might recall one of my posts from a few days ago about a girl that I have known who lives near me and basically just to summarize what that post was all about, I am trying to determine two things. Number one how I can get past my fear of rejection and ask her out, I have known her for alot of years, shes not someone I would label a friend but just more like an aquitance or someone that you just come across in your daily life. Secondly, I am trying to also figure out how she might feel about me because if I knew that she did take an interest in me then I would definately have enough confidence to ask her for a date.
ok,now for my question. This might possible be answered better by a female but of course anyone who responds will be welcomed.
What does it mean when you try to throw hints at a girl that you like her and her reaction to you is neither negative nor positive but instead its just neutral? Its a little bit difficult to explain something like this by I feel like I should elaborate on it a little bit more. I have always found in my expereinces that when you flirt with a girl or you try to take things to a personal level where you basically show her in your actions that you like her its kinda like throwing a rubber ball against a brick wall. Basically the ball hits the wall and bounces back at you and either you catch it successfully in your hands or you miss and it hits you in the head. lol. In other words either she shows interest or she doesn't and its that simple. My situation with this particular girl seems more like throwing a handful of mud at the wall..where it hits the wall,splatters, and its all over. What I mean is that I try to say things to her to show interest or to show her that I like her and its not that she treats me in a bad way at all, but she doesn't give me a clear cut indication as to whether she loves me or hates me.
I have two theories here...I think that either A.. She sees right through what I am trying to do and she doesn't feel the same way towards me or B.. What I am trying to do is going right over her head and shes not even realizing it, but how can you tell which one of those it is or maybe is there something else I am not thinking of?
Here's a thought... Take the guess work out of this and just ask her out on a date... So what if she says no... it happens, but you can think this over in your head til you drive yourself nuts... Besides it will also speed things up....
I just want to tell you something. I was out with this guy this weekend. Cute, nice guy-but we have always met in a group. He knows me from going out with a friend in the group, knows we broke up, and we have basically gone as far as just doing shots together a few nights--that's it.
Called him Friday to see what he was doing that night. He was tired, ended up calling me at 1:30 am to see if I was out, he woke up and got second wind. I was alseep anyway. Called him the next day to see what he was doing Saturday. We decided to meet at a bar to shoot some pool--his friend was in from out of town, but he asked me to come up.
Still--a group, friend thing--right? Well, he gave no indication that he was really into me--just friend stuff. ( he made a comment that the HS kids I teach must crap when I walk in...but friends could say that too--just giving a compliment)
Anyway--my point is--I was wondering too. SO--Later I told him, "You know, I have been really attracted to you for a while now. Did you know that?"
He was like, "NO! I didn't know that, but I am really, really glad you told me. I'm crazy attracted to you--but so is every other guy. I didn't think you'd give me the time of day. I just thought you were really cool, and kinda nice and fun with everyone, so I didn't say anything. Awesome." and he smiled.
We went on to have an awesome night. SO--Sometimes they really don't have a clue. I had even told this guy I thought he was cute before, bought him drinks on occasion, and rubbed his head(he's kinda shaved--it feels good. he he ) and he didn't know I was interested!!
Be direct. It works for me--and I'm a girl. Most of us like direct. The worst that can happen is she says she's not interested, right? C'mon!! Go for it. If she's not, move on-----NEXT!!
Hey Matt, I agree with the other posters---take a chance and just go for it!! I know it is easier said than done, but as a girl, I really like it when a guy is just honest and direct. All of the guessing games really get tiring! So, just ask her out to lunch or something and see where things go from there. If she isn't interested, then it is HER loss and NOT yours. At least you will then know one way or the other and you won't be left wondering.