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Old 08-30-2005, 05:44 PM   #1
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Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

I went to that one website that has an "intimate section" and this one absolutely gorgeous man sent me a smile. Actually, he emailed me before, but I said "no" to his invitation because of what his profile said. Basically, that he was not looking for anything serious. He also has an ad on that regular website with the "small name" that's very popular. He contacted me there first and he said "until I do meet the right one, I might as well enjoy myself in the meantime."

He's only one year younger than me and I feel so sexually attracted.

I know I shouldn't go to that website, but I do sometimes. Naughty me!

Anyway, I'm starting to wonder why I'm so attracted to these types of men. It seems I feel a strong sexual attraction to them for some reason.

I know, in my other thread, I have talked about Michael, and I really do like him a lot and I know he's really into me. I do want something long term, but at the same time, I want a torrid, sexy romance! What gives???

Will I ever get over this attraction I have to this type of man?

 
Old 08-30-2005, 05:55 PM   #2
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Sometimes I like the bad boys too...they're good in the sack.

 
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Old 08-30-2005, 06:04 PM   #3
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Hi GE,
Those bad ones do appeal, don't they. Too bad that the qualities that make them sexually interesting are also the ones that make them awful boyfriends and husbands. There is a good book called "The Commitment Cure". It discusses this very subject as well as why some women keep choosing this type of man.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 06:07 PM   #4
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

I have this very same ....problem?? LOL. My best friend and I had this same conversation the other day. Basically, we ended the whole exploration of "that kind of guy" calling them EOW'S--and the said it out loud, like "eeeooowwww!! LOL It stands for emotionally unavailable *****.

We laughed SO hard. Maybe you had to be there, but it was so funny to us. We asked ourselves why seemingly all women are attracted to this type of man at one time or another in our lives. Was it self esteem issues? Was it that we really didn't want or were afraid of a relationship? Was it a challenge to win their excusivity when no one had b4?? We couldn't figure it out, and truthfully--I still can't.

I know I am attracted to this type of man, but I didn't marry one. I was bored most of the time, and it was basically passion-less. SO--here I am single again, and what do I find myself looking for? The EOW.

What is it about them that drives us crazy? Wish someone would tell me so I could maybe get over it and find a nice, good man that I was as attracted to. Somehow HOT is synonymus with "the wrong guy" for me. Really fun for a while, but they end up having too many issues, and the confidence you once found so sexy is now arrogant or conceited.

I like good looking men. Confident men. Sometimes even a little cocky men. What gives, is right!! They never turn out to be Mr. Right--just real good Mr. Right NOW's. LOL!!! Someone give a clue why we are attracted to these types of men--and (when I'm ready--he he) tell us how to stop it --and like it as much as the smoldering hottie bad boy.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 06:15 PM   #5
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Yes, I know. I've read so many books, it's not even funny. I still can't figure myself out. It seems like the only men who really excite me sexually are the ones who are not looking for commitment. I think, partly, it's the "challenge factor". I always get into men who are a challenge to me and not so easily won over.

Actually, on the one website that's very popular, his profile was a little different. He said he was looking for that special woman, but that he wanted to have fun in the meantime. He initially contacted me there, and after I read his profile, I said I wasn't interested.

Now, he just recently contacted me on this other website (it's a free one and you can chat there). And he said, "let me show you how I can rock your world".

This man is an absolute hunk. He works out and does not look his age at all. He's got the body of a Greek gladiator and a very handsome face.

It's seems like I only get excited by a man who is a challenge in some way to me. If they are too easy, I get turned off. Why can't I like get excited about a man who is really into me?

I'm starting to think it's something I don't want to change; otherwise, I surely would have by now. Maybe I'm not looking for marriage, but just an affair. Could it be?

 
Old 08-30-2005, 06:21 PM   #6
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

I know that's all I'm looking for right now. But in another thread I was told that it's really "immature." BS it's immature. Not if you have a hot, mature, experienced affair. It can be great if you ask me. No games like when we were younger. Just plain open, raw, and hot as h***!!!

I think bad boys are confident, and confidence a lot of times ==great in bed. They just aren't afraid to take control at the right times, lay back at the right times and like to please cuz it makes them feel like they are freaking legends!!! LOL

 
Old 08-30-2005, 06:35 PM   #7
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Quote:
Originally Posted by laurie864bla
I know that's all I'm looking for right now. But in another thread I was told that it's really "immature." BS it's immature. Not if you have a hot, mature, experienced affair. It can be great if you ask me. No games like when we were younger. Just plain open, raw, and hot as h***!!!

I think bad boys are confident, and confidence a lot of times ==great in bed. They just aren't afraid to take control at the right times, lay back at the right times and like to please cuz it makes them feel like they are freaking legends!!! LOL
Yes, hot, stormy affairs can be so fun and make you feel so alive! I totally agree.

Actually, I think this hunk is pretty interested because I turned him down once, and he contacted me again.

One time, I was asking this older woman why I was still not married, and she said, quite simply, "maybe you don't want to get married." Somehow what she said made a lot of sense. Maybe I'm an affair woman and not marital material.

I wonder if it's possible to catch one of those "bad boys"! Maybe if we acted the same way they do, we would become men magnets like they are women magnets.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 07:18 PM   #8
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Quote:
Originally Posted by greeneyes100
Yes, I know. I've read so many books, it's not even funny. I still can't figure myself out. It seems like the only men who really excite me sexually are the ones who are not looking for commitment. I think, partly, it's the "challenge factor". I always get into men who are a challenge to me and not so easily won over.

Actually, on the one website that's very popular, his profile was a little different. He said he was looking for that special woman, but that he wanted to have fun in the meantime. He initially contacted me there, and after I read his profile, I said I wasn't interested.

Now, he just recently contacted me on this other website (it's a free one and you can chat there). And he said, "let me show you how I can rock your world".

This man is an absolute hunk. He works out and does not look his age at all. He's got the body of a Greek gladiator and a very handsome face.

It's seems like I only get excited by a man who is a challenge in some way to me. If they are too easy, I get turned off. Why can't I like get excited about a man who is really into me?

I'm starting to think it's something I don't want to change; otherwise, I surely would have by now. Maybe I'm not looking for marriage, but just an affair. Could it be?
If you want to try to have him and keep him, you know you'll have to be a challenge to him.

 
Old 08-30-2005, 07:37 PM   #9
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Works for me every single time. Hate to admit it, but it's true. Maybe this sounds conceited, but I have no problem meeting or dating the bad boys. Mostly even keeping them if I wanted to, but usually lose interest when they get really interested.

I have been out of the game for quite a while, but when I jumped back in--same thing-different decade. I think it just takes being really confident and flirty--and different from typical girls. I'm very comfortable being one of the guys, in a group that is.

Now going out on a date with a guy I barely know throws me off a bit. I'm fine if I have been with them in a group a few times, but this on line dating thing really intimidates me. Which is weird, cuz I'm usually unintimidateable--I know!! NOT A WORD--but I wanted to use it anyhow!! LOL

Now this new young guy I have posted about in another thread is not your typical bad boy. But something about it is kinda forbidden--like the age thing--and I think it's why I'm so turned on by it.

I also am getting away from a contolling husband, and I feel so in control being older, ya know? Don't you get worried about a guy who would be so forward on line tho? I mean, I have read lots of your posts, and you're opbviously very intelligent--but it just freaks me out. Maybe it's b/c it's so unfamiliar to me.

Truthfully--if were to really tell the truth--I want a real relationship, if not marriage, with a totally hot, confident man that doesn't get old( the passion for each other--not the guy). I refuse to believe it's not out there, so that's why I probably keep the faith. My best friend is with a hot guy, married for 12 yrs. She has great sex--even in bathrooms at parties of family and friends after all this time. I want that. That's still hot.

There has to be some of that left for us, doesn't there?? I mean, if you're blessed with good looks, (which have nothing to do with me--my parents did that!!) and you have agreat personality, you're fun and have a lot to offer--more than most girls I have met, then why can't we want the smoking hot, whole package?? I'm still not settling until I get it. Maybe one day I'll change, but i doubt it.

Are you going to contact this guy? If you do, let me know what happens--but be careful!! I'm sure you will be, you have your head on straight and you're smart. Do you believe some things were only meant to be--or that you create your own destiny?

I go back and forth believing both at different times. I felt this last guy--the one that failed--was SO meant to be. It really was so right, so God given, so intense--and then totally blew up in my face. Maybe that's why this youngen--so I can control what happens.

I dunno. SOmetimes I think I should just be happy alone, but I am ok alone--just not as happy as with male companionship. You know, that heart pounding, skin on skin thing you only get witha guy you really are attracted to and him to you. If you're going to have that--it has to be someone who does it for you--and that type of guy does it for us, so I guess--no excuses.

Everyone has their preferences--some like tall or a certain race, or blonde hair. We just happen to like our version of on fire hot!! This could be debated forever that we are shallow or immature, but I really think it's just a preference.

A guy was talking to me a couple of weeks ago. He was alright, but just alright. He went to get his (vehicle) said he was getting ready to leave and did I want to go over his friend's house to a party for a while. Honestly--I wasn't going to go, but then he drove up on this beautiful bike--just gorgeous-- says, "DO you need a helmet??" and something about a guy that drives a motorcycle---I was so much more interested and went to the party with him. Now how silly is that?

I wouldn't have cared if it was any kind of car--but that bad boy bike thing got me. Silly girl!! I think it has to be mostly sexual, don't you? I am a very "Physical touch" kind of person. Love being touched, by someone who knows how to touch me. I guess it's all in what does it for each individual, and we are not to judge what does, right?

 
Old 08-30-2005, 08:47 PM   #10
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Well, I'm not really sure it's that we are necessarily attracted to "bad boys," but to guys who project an image of being strong. I think it's genetically programmed in us somehow. Perhaps it goes back to the prehistoric times when the strongest, most resourceful men had the highest chance of succeeding with females, procreate, provide for the family, etc. It hasn't really changed that much on that primitive level, I think. So, if a guy seems strong and confident (as many of the "bad boy" types do), somehow it makes a lot of women attracted to him. Or maybe these men produce more testosterone or something LOL. I have to say I am also attracted to guys who are perhaps not bad boys but not always too predictable and decidedly NOT wimpy. If I perceive a man as "wimpy" or feminine is some way, I immediately get turned off and that's it. The reason I don't like typical bad boys (which I imagine to be a muscled type man with tattoos and riding a Harley) is because they don't seem too intelligent to me. It might not be accurate at all, but that's how I perceive it and so that type does nothing for me, either. It seems rather grotesque. However, someone who has brains and seems sophisticated on the outside, and yet can be somewhat wild in private is hugely attractive. I don't like men who are "too nice." They make great friends but that's about it. I guess we all like a little bit of a challenge and someone we can respect and who won't allow us to walk all over him, but I think it's not a bad thing at all. Interesting topic, GE, as usual!

 
Old 08-30-2005, 09:14 PM   #11
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Quote:
Originally Posted by greeneyes100
And he said, "let me show you how I can rock your world".

This man is an absolute hunk. He works out and does not look his age at all. He's got the body of a Greek gladiator and a very handsome face.
Well, from your description I can understand why you're attracted to this one.
If I were in the same situation I can't say whether or not I'd act on it but I'm sure I'd be attracted to him.

Last edited by Missylynn; 08-30-2005 at 09:15 PM.

 
Old 08-31-2005, 02:45 AM   #12
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

I think I'm going to try playing hard to get. It seems to have peaked his interest because I turned him down the first time.

Oh, Sophia, he is very intelligent. Not the biker type at all. He looks like he walked out of GQ men's magazine.

Laura, thanks for the advice. I totally agree with you on a most of your posts. Why can't we have it all? But then, like Evy said, most bad boys have a hard time settling down with one woman. Believe me, I'm not going to rush into anything with him right now. I think I will lay low and see what develops. Besides, I am dating another guy who I really like that's really into me and I want to see what becomes of this.

Last edited by greeneyes100; 08-31-2005 at 02:47 AM.

 
Old 08-31-2005, 06:52 AM   #13
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Quote:
Originally Posted by greeneyes100
I think I'm going to try playing hard to get. It seems to have peaked his interest because I turned him down the first time.

Oh, Sophia, he is very intelligent. Not the biker type at all. He looks like he walked out of GQ men's magazine.
.
Oh, ok, so he's the GQ type Hmm, I still find his line "Let me show you how to rock your world" to be very sleazy. Sounds like something straight from a mediocre porn movie. Personally, I don't like guys who ae so forward and obvious, especially when they haven't even met you. I guess you can flirt with him online when you're bored, but he doesn't seem like someone who would be good to date at all.

Last edited by SophiaM; 08-31-2005 at 06:53 AM.

 
Old 08-31-2005, 07:18 AM   #14
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Ladies, most guys feel the same way. Nothing scares us more than the fear of boredom in a relationship… so much so that we often think about risking a life with the wrong woman simply because she lives life with a passion. When I found my wife-to-be, I soon discovered she was adventurous but stable… and I was hooked. It took more time to be sure of each other’s values but that cemented the deal for us. She’s my naughty girl, great wife and emotional rock all in one. Even after 30+ years of marriage, she regularly finds ways to surprise me in exciting ways… and that makes life so worthwhile. I try to do the same for her. She’s full of passion (usually righteous anger at me ) and life’s never really boring… just faster or slower paced.

Because of my experience with her, I’m so against anyone settling or trying to change someone… because I believe the right person is out there for everyone… with a mix of adventure and stability that matches yours. I think my wife and I saw the adventure in each other first and found the stability later. Trust your instincts.

 
Old 08-31-2005, 10:35 AM   #15
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Re: Why am I so attracted to "Bad Boys"???

Sophia, I know he doesn't sound like someone who would be good to date. That's exactly why I am so intrigued! Evertime I look at him, I get the HOTS!

I haven't heard back from him yet, anyway. I keep having these sexy fantasies with him in it, and they are really good!

 
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