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Old 08-31-2005, 08:07 AM   #1
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: san jose, ca.
Posts: 82
TTBABM HB User
Stay, Go, Space....help

MY WIFE OF 13 YEARS RECENTLY ADMITTED THAT SHE HAS BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR FOR ABOUT 1 1/2 YEARS. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE FELT NO INTAMACY IN OUR MARRIAGE, SO SHE FOUND IT IN AN EX-BOYFRIEND. i HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LOVING LOYAL ATTENTIVE TO HER. WE HAVE BEEN IN COUNSELING FOR AWHILE NOW AND IN THE COURSE OF IT I HAVE LEARNED WHAT I THINK IS TRUE INTAMACY AND I TOTALLY EMBRACE IT IN FACT MY WIFE AND I HAVE VERY INTENSE AN WONDERFUL CONVERSATIONS. MY DILLEMA IS THAT SHE IS STILL SEEING HIM, AND TELLS ME SHE IS TORN BETWEEN US. I AM TRYING TO GIVE HER WHAT SPACE SHE NEEDS BUT I WONDER IF THE SPACE COULD HARM MY CHANCES OF GETTING MY WIFE BACK. i HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO, i WOULD WELCOME ANY ADVISE OR SIMILIAR STORIES PLEASE

 
Old 08-31-2005, 09:10 AM   #2
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(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 148
Lilly10 HB User
Re: Stay, Go, Space....help

TTBAM,

Hello first off I am sorry about your situation. I am going throug a tough time myself right now so I really do feel for you. I feel that you should tell her that you feel she needs time to sort through her own life as it is very painful waiting for her to make a decision. Are you still living under the same roof? I have come to my own conclusion that nothing I can say or do at this point will do anything for my relationship so I have resorted to the good old "if it was meant to be it will work out". I think you are on the right track with giving her space and being understanding but dont make this all about her make sure you consider your own feelings and that you are hurt as well you need to show that you have strength. I must say that you seem very forgiving of your wifes cheating on you. The best I can say to you is what I have been telling myself that somehow this will work out with or with out him (my ex finace) as hurt as I am I will get through this! As far as stay go space help I would go at least for now trying to hold on just pushes them further away and sounds like your wife needs to do a lot of thinking and you need to do some thinking as well! I know it is lonely and so sad but you will be ok!!

Last edited by Lilly10; 08-31-2005 at 03:22 PM.

 
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Old 08-31-2005, 09:36 AM   #3
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: san jose, ca.
Posts: 82
TTBABM HB User
Re: Stay, Go, Space....help

THANK YOU LILLY, i DO NOT THINK THAT AFFAIRS MEAN THE END OF A RELATIONSHIP IT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON AND SHE IS A GOOD PERSON. DON'T WORRY I AM THINKING OF MY FEELINGS TO. I HOPE YOU COME OUT OF YOUR SITUATION THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO BE.

 
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