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Old 09-01-2005, 10:10 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 41
mistycatt HB User
Am I Paranoid

Hi, I am new to this specific forum.
Just need some advice.

I have been married 8 years. I have a great husband, who is responsible, great job, good to my family etc. We fight over stupid things like every couple does. He does not go out to bars clubs etc, we do go to his friends houses and have beers and drink to hang out.

He also plays a ton of baseball. He stays out late sometimes drinking so he says with his buddies until 11-1200 and I get so angry at him. and then my my mind starts racing and I think there are other women out there. He plays baseball on some saturdays, long tourneys and atleast 2-3 times a week.

I go to his games sometimes, and when I go I do see the women out there and they are slutty, and very disrespectful, buy talking about the mens body parts, etc. I also see some women who are on the womens team or co-ed come over and talk to him, not come over specificly to talk to him but come over and then if my husband walks buy he will say hi and say something about the game... I start fuming!!!! I don't know If I am just jeaulos and if I am having trust issues here!


I think I also have all these things running through my mind because I am not there, and I know my husband has friends and he is not rude to females,... I don't know....

Plus, It ticks me off badly when he comes home and 11 or 12 , but then am I overdoing it and getting mad for no reason, since he does not do anything like go to clubs, etc and when we do go out we are together...


I don't know why but I feel like there are other women around him and I don't have a reason to feel like that... OR DO I... Please help..

 
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Old 09-01-2005, 10:23 AM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,322
laurie864bla HB User
Re: Am I Paranoid

When I stopped being jealous, it was about coming to a realization. Trust is a choice. A hard choice, but a choice. They are going to do what they are going to do, and are actually more apt to do something wrong if you are paranoid and clingy or fight about it.

You just have to be like--I am going to choose to be confident and know he only wants to be with me. It takes a huge load off of the feeling like your stomach is in knots and wondering to the point of driving both of you crazy. They are going to do what they are going to do. Just let it go and be the amazing, desireable woman you already are. If you change, you are not the woman he fell in love with, and may stray. Harder to do than to say, but it worked for me--even if you have to fake it for a while--it's like Dr. Phil says--"Behave your way to success."

 
Old 09-01-2005, 10:32 AM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 41
mistycatt HB User
Re: Am I Paranoid

Quote:
Originally Posted by laurie864bla
When I stopped being jealous, it was about coming to a realization. Trust is a choice. A hard choice, but a choice. They are going to do what they are going to do, and are actually more apt to do something wrong if you are paranoid and clingy or fight about it.

You just have to be like--I am going to choose to be confident and know he only wants to be with me. It takes a huge load off of the feeling like your stomach is in knots and wondering to the point of driving both of you crazy. They are going to do what they are going to do. Just let it go and be the amazing, desireable woman you already are. If you change, you are not the woman he fell in love with, and may stray. Harder to do than to say, but it worked for me--even if you have to fake it for a while--it's like Dr. Phil says--"Behave your way to success."

 
Old 09-01-2005, 10:37 AM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 41
mistycatt HB User
Re: Am I Paranoid

Thank you! I think I needed to hear that! I don't have anyone to talk to and I think that If I had more friends and did more maybe I would not feel this way. I don't tell anyone how I feel.

I don't know why I am like that. There are days where I feel like "Yeah I know I got a great man and he loves Me and Only me" and then I start thinking well why were those girls staring at me at the ball game or those guys, and I straight out ask him do you have other women here, are they shocked to see me, and then I start feeling so uncomfortable out there... Even when we go out with his friends, he has a few friends that a doggs to women, and then I think to myself is he like that when I am not around and I bet those other girls think I'm stupid..etc...

 
Old 09-01-2005, 04:37 PM   #5
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 205
dsleik HB User
Re: Am I Paranoid

if you have been married for 8 yrs and are happy... then if your marriage is healthy then a supermodel talking to him shouldnt phase you. you said you have a great husband so just trust him if he has never given you reason to not. 11 or 12 is pretty early for coming home after going out every once in a while especially w his friends. its just s social life and seems he is very involved. dont let the other women bother you. you are probably just making negative first impressions of them, whether they are out having a good time or just really immature so dont let it affect you. who knows maybe they are watching their husbands?!?! i dont think you have to worry, maybe try talking to them, they could be really nice.

 
Old 09-02-2005, 11:59 AM   #6
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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mistycatt HB User
Re: Am I Paranoid

Thank you! I feel better already

 
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