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Old 09-01-2005, 01:22 PM   #1
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Explain to me something

OK I need some explaining this one.
I have been doing very well the last couple of weeks concentrating on me after my breakup in May.
Well out of the blue my ex calls me today and I answered. Stupid me I was at work and thought it was one of our offices. Anyways we ended up talking for 25 minutes about life...problems....how i was and how he is. I tried to hang up on him but he kept talking and stupid me doesn't know how to be mean.
But he asked how I was doing and I told him I was doing great and he had some issues he wanted to bouncing off of me. Then towards the end of the conversation I found out that the girl is really only 20 years old. He is 32. He has three kids she has one and they are talking about having one together. So whatever...
Why is he still calling me if he claims to be ridiculously happy with this new girl. It doesn't bother me that he calls bc it hardly phases me. But he keeps referring to how good I was in bed and if situations were different would I still want to be around him and such. Then he goes on about how he wanted to come by my work for a sec for me to see the kids and for him to pick up the last of his stuff but I didn't have the stuff with me. Then I said well let me see the kids for a sec and he said he was on a tight scedule and had to get home to the new girl who is supposedly kinda living with him which is a big no no in front of his kids (as to why he wouldn't let me spend the night when we were dating) and a HUGE no no in his divorce papers.
Is he just wanting to keep me on the side which hurts like hell. But then why would he want me to see the kids and call me and talk to me for a long time mulitple times. Yet he says he is sooo happy with her.
I just don't get it. I know time heals everything but there is still a very small part of me that cares deeply for him but my friends think he wants to be able to "rescue" this other girl and I was out of his league (better than him). No one wants me to go back to him but why is he still keeping in touch?

Curiosity is great.....

 
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Old 09-01-2005, 01:47 PM   #2
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Re: Explain to me something

Well I was wondering if you were still alive.... Sounds like to me he's still wanting to have his cake and eat it too... Maybe not could be he's just trying to be nice... But I kinda did the same thing a long time ago and I was just trying to have my cake and eat it too... Dunno though I wouldn't really worry about it'll just bring you down... I also would stop talking to this guy... The more you talk about him the worse he sounds BTW.. Anything else new? I really got nothing.. (which is annoying in itself..)

 
Old 09-01-2005, 01:54 PM   #3
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Gundam HB User
Re: Explain to me something

He sounds like a ******* ... stay away from him.

Talking to his X-GF about how good she was in bed ... O common ... what a retard ?! ... He's as low as the bottom of the food chain. Next time he calls, hang up on him. & yes !! Be extremely mean ~ ~ ~

 
Old 09-01-2005, 01:58 PM   #4
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Re: Explain to me something

I thought he was being somewhat sincere because we had a good ole chat for a godo portion of the convo. The bed thing came up later but only briefly. I just don't know how a 32 yr old could be in love with a 2o yr old.
He is now blocked from my phone at work so don't worry.
I just hate that I still care about his a**.
I know I am better than him it just hurts ya know...rejection

Yea Scotty I am still alive. Work has been kicking my butt though. Unfortunately no new men though....hopefully soon! Yea Scotty I am still alive. I am just trying to get over this last hurdle. It's hard but I am keeping my head up.

 
Old 09-01-2005, 02:19 PM   #5
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Re: Explain to me something

Don't worry about it'll happen for ya... and I'm sure you'll get over this last hurdle with no problem... Any luck with the online stuff? I'm still leary of it and not really putting forth much of an effort into it...

 
Old 09-01-2005, 03:33 PM   #6
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Re: Explain to me something

i think he is calling you and bringing up his new girl is because he wants you to be jealous...to not move on, to wish you had him, to realize what is lost......but the reason he will imply is because he wants to see how you are doing but then he wants to rub in your face how happy he is w the new girl.. the fact that he still tells you you are good in bed is pathetic. he wants you to want him especially for complimenting you on that such thing and he probably wants you to say he was good in bed too... he wants you to reminisce about him but know that he has moved on... or his other reason could be that he wants you to come back to him just for the sex. who knows alls you should know is to be thankful you are away from this scumbag and dont let him fool you or call you making you feel bad . tell him not to call you at work too. good luck xoxo

 
Old 09-01-2005, 03:50 PM   #7
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Re: Explain to me something

Well, he definatetly is looking for attention! Because you said he would let his kids come up to your office and SEE you? They live with the new girlfriend right? So, how exactly do you think that would go over with her when they brought it up at the dinner table?

I agree with dsliek, he is pathetic! He brought up the good sex because he wanted you to return the compliment and stroke his ego! Maybe, since you mentioned they are trying for a baby, the new girl treats him like a sperm donor and doesn't compliment him enough, so he needed to fish for compliments!

What a loser!

 
Old 09-01-2005, 04:31 PM   #8
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Re: Explain to me something

After reading these two posts I got to thinking about this and I really can't believe he would have said something like that.... I think you should stay away from this guy and thank God you got out when you did before you were even more attached...

 
Old 09-01-2005, 05:24 PM   #9
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Re: Explain to me something

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scotty1
After reading these two posts I got to thinking about this and I really can't believe he would have said something like that.... I think you should stay away from this guy and thank God you got out when you did before you were even more attached...
I know he shouldn't have done that but its really hard sometimes because my stupid self still likes him. I have a big heart and want to know that he does care about our friendship.
But everyone is telling me I am sooo better off why can't I see that. He has debt...three kids...exwife...a 20 yr old gf and her baby....and they are talking about more children. Why do I not see how pathetic he is. His best friend told him he was stupid because at least I was considered and adult. This girl can't even buy beer.
Did I mean nothing to him in the year that we spent together??

 
Old 09-01-2005, 05:40 PM   #10
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Re: Explain to me something

Stop right there... You don't need to be asking yourself those questions.. You know your better off, and this is just a little hiccup... Cheer up and go out and do something fun...

BTW am I ever going to get the invite for dinner? Still waiting and getting pretty hungry...

 
Old 09-01-2005, 06:12 PM   #11
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Re: Explain to me something

Hi GC,
It's possible that he fears you've moved on and is making an effort to keep you tethered to him. He doesn't really want you, but likes the idea that you still care. Maybe it's a fear thing, where you represent safety, or maybe it's an ego thing, where you represent adoration.
It's possible that he still cares, isn't getting over things as easy as he thought he would and comes back for the occasional fix, but doesn't want to committ again.
It's possible he wants a FWB and is trading on your feelings in hopes of getting a little something, something, on the side. He may not be able to seperate his friendship feeling from the sexual ones.
It's also possible that he is cluelesss, thinks none of this bothers you, and is treating you like one of the guys.
Either way, this kind of thinking, on his part, will get you nowhere but hurt. But you know that already. It's not what you want, it's not enough, it's his problem and you can't get sucked back into it. I would stop thinking of him as a friend, if you do. He is an exlover who can still hurt. I think blocking him was an excellent idea.

Last edited by evy38; 09-01-2005 at 06:14 PM.

 
Old 09-01-2005, 07:35 PM   #12
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Re: Explain to me something

Thank you evy38. I did want to be his friend but I know thats not possible. I wasn't able to talk to an ex from college until 2 years after we broke up. I know I am better off it just sucks when you get rejected.
Scotty thank you for always being here and being my cheerleader so to speak. You always believed in me. Yes..this is only a hiccup and I know I will get through it with the help of my cyber buddies. Thank you all for always being here and believing in me.

Scotty you can come for dinner anytime...my oven is fixed and I have been cooking and baking

 
Old 09-01-2005, 07:57 PM   #13
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Re: Explain to me something

Tell you what next time you feel like going all out on a meal I'm there.... Might have give me directions though Hang in there your almost thru this...

 
Old 09-01-2005, 08:02 PM   #14
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Re: Explain to me something

Thank you I just wish it wasn't so hard ya know? I mean I feel like I was nothing to him. I have a house, a car, a yard, an education and she has an semi divorced husband...a one year old....and an old car...and not finished school....
I just don't understand men...why can't I meet someone like you Scotty?

 
Old 09-01-2005, 09:29 PM   #15
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Re: Explain to me something

I'm one of a Kind!

 
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