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Old 09-04-2005, 04:02 AM   #1
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mada_3083 HB User
Arms length?

ok just discussing with friends, what does it mean if someone wants a relationship but they "hold the significant other" at arms length due to being hurt before... does that mean the relationship is doomed, or just needs more time for trust to build?

i personally know what it's like to be hurt, but can't understand how a relationship could survive long with someone being held "at arms length"

 
Old 09-04-2005, 04:10 AM   #2
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Hiya HB User
Re: Arms length?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mada_3083
ok just discussing with friends, what does it mean if someone wants a relationship but they "hold the significant other" at arms length due to being hurt before... does that mean the relationship is doomed, or just needs more time for trust to build?

i personally know what it's like to be hurt, but can't understand how a relationship could survive long with someone being held "at arms length"
It can't survive long. A relationship is like a flower or a plant, not to sound too corny, but it's true. It needs to be tended, nurtured, fed in order to flourish and grow, and you can't feed and nourish a relationship from arm's length. If someone "holds their SO at arm's length" then the relationship will never get to the next level of intimacy. That person wants to control things. Whether it's a matter of fearing rejection or just not being sure that person is "the one," a relationship can only go so far unless both partners are willing ready and able to roll up their sleeves and dive in whole-heartedly.

 
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