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Time to Breakup?

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Old 09-08-2005, 12:15 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: california, la
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hcvsd HB User
Question Time To Breakup?

Ok To the point, I'v been with my girlfriend for little over a year, but were with each other when we were 16yrs old we are now in our early 30's (2nd go around)

We have been arguing alot. I like to talk things out, she does not and makes me feel bad that I do. She is not very emotional and I'am, she has 3 kids and I have one. She has a past of decietfulness and I do not. Bingo!

Her past sometime bothers me? I know I wasn't there but I judge her, she shows no remorse and I'm scared she will do it to me. example: she slept with her husbands good friend and still has not come clean says she won't. And the friend will probably tell him some day.

She is very bad than mony horrible credit and not motivated to fix it for the future.
I LOVE HER and cant try to fix her anymore but what do I do? Is it time for me to feel that horrible feeling of a breakup? Or whats is wrong with me?

Last edited by hcvsd; 09-08-2005 at 12:22 PM.

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Old 09-08-2005, 05:26 PM   #2
Hangin in There
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Re: Time to Breakup?

Lying, poor communication, cheating and inability to manage money are certainly undesirable traits. I assume that these faults outweigh the good in her. If so, I would break up with her.

Old 09-09-2005, 10:26 AM   #3
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Lilly10 HB User
Re: Time to Breakup?

Well I have to tell you this person does not sound like a stable caring person! Sounds like you have it together and she does not care to even try to get it together. She does not sound emotional at all and seems to have issues when it comes to others feelings as she does not seem to care (hope i did not cross the line as I dont really know her) about hurting people. Cut your loses now if you are a sensative caring man trust me there are many of us woman out there that would love to have someone like you. People like her are hard to change well make that almost impossible. Sounds like you already know that she may just bring you down. Good luck!!

Old 09-09-2005, 08:02 PM   #4
Join Date: Nov 2004
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stuckmissy HB User
Re: Time to Breakup?

You did know her past when you got involved with her? Is that correct? I'm in no way excusing what she has done in her past. Sometimes a persons past can haunt them and keep them down..well we are all accountable for our actions but it can make it harder to change and result in a fear failure. Her past is her past. It sounds more like she has a chip on her shoulder and that's why there is no remorse or she's just hidding the truth from herself..or..or who knows. Your right you can't change her. But i wouldn't corner her to be totally at fault. It sounds more like you are realizing that she is not right for you. And that's ok. Honestly it would be good for her to sort herself out. If you accepted her faults and all at one time and now you don't she may not be able to follow what's going on or what's wrong. If you use her past against her then you are not being fair if it hasn't been in the middle of your relationship she won't understand anyway. It is unfortunate that she is unwilling to talk things out with you because that may have been her only chance. She needs to be willing to put in an effort and care enough about your relationship to do that. She needs to meet you half way and more because she has her own issues. If she can't or won't do this then yes you need to consider your options and it sounds like you are already doing that. Can i ask a question? Do you love her or what you want her to be or what you had hoped you could be together. Perhaps all of the above. Tread carefully with those children!

Old 09-19-2005, 09:54 AM   #5
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: california, la
Posts: 88
hcvsd HB User
Re: Time to Breakup?

Thank You all for your replys!

I do love her but as someone pointed out it may be more of what I thought she would be or what i thought we could be. I have some thinking to do and I 'm already scared of the feeling the break up blues.

Old 09-19-2005, 04:19 PM   #6
Hangin in There
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Re: Time to Breakup?

Sometimes planning a breakup is harder than being broken up itself. I was unhappy with my boyfriend for several months and kept stalling. When I finally did it, it was a huge relief. Why settle for someone you're not excited about?

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