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??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

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Old 09-08-2005, 08:25 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Georgetown Ontario Canada
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LoveLife8888 HB User
Question ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

Hello to all.

Away most of the summer to the cottage but I was very happy to be able to read alot of your posts this past summer now that we have internet at the cottage.

??? Has anyone ever dated a guy for approx. 2 months or so who would NOT sleep overnite with you??? I met someone who is definately single (not married) about 2 months ago and in August he had the opportunity to sleep over at my house one nite and refused to do it. Based on his response he seemed to have issues about it but did say he would in the future but not just yet.

I have NEVER had that happen to me before and just curious if anyone else has had this happen to them. All my previous bf's (not many) never did this to me. Is there meaning behind this action (or rather lack of action). We have been intimate after about 1.5 months of dating.

Thanks for any feedback. Just curious. No big deal but because this never happened to me before I was quite curious.

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Old 09-08-2005, 08:45 PM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2004
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stuckmissy HB User
Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone??? first thought was that he was holding off on being intimate..but yous have been could only think that perhaps he is uncomfortable with what spending the night means to him. For some people this is a "step". So it could be that. I would ask him if it bothers him and what about it bothers him and maybe through some examples at him. "Does it scare you that if you spend the night our relationship is moving to fast. " "Are you worried i would want to stay with you and then our spaces are not so seperated"? that kind of thing. He may tell you! And the good thing is he plans to spend the night so whatever it is he can see himself over comming it. Perhaps he has self esteem issues and is uncomfortable being that relaxed for that long..i don't know. I wish i could say more..i'd like to hear what the guys out there think. Because honestly i haven't hear of this know he has to work early or has pets or children or other responsibilities that need to come first.

Old 09-08-2005, 09:26 PM   #3
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JustErin HB User
Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

how do you know he's not married? have you ever been to his house? my only thought is.....he has a girlfriend or fiance. or he's a player.
does he have a cell phone? if he does, does he talk on it when you're around? or does he send it to voice mail to listen to it later, when you're not around?
i don't have much faith in you can tell. so far, with my experience with men, if you answered no to any of the questions........keep your guard up.

good luck

Old 09-08-2005, 10:00 PM   #4
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akmac HB User
Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

My 1st thoughts when reading this was that maybe he is just getting over a past relationship...maybe he has been hurt in the past. Or, (and I know your not going to want to hear this but it's a possibility), maybe he had a Sexually Transmitted Disease that he was treating and was waiting to get over it before anything happend that could pass it on to you.

Old 09-08-2005, 11:26 PM   #5
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SweetHome HB User
Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

It can go two ways... he is hiding something.

OR he is not ready to take the step that spending the night entails. Spending the night means you have no where else to be and you prefer to be with that person. It is something intimate, more than sex, to wake up with someone and witness that morning routine.

OR he is not feeling you like that... you know you good for what he is getting right now.

Only way to tell is to look at you two's whole interaction as a total. Does he only come over and sleep with you? Do you go out? Does he talk to you about personal things? Basically what is he sharing with you, his body or his life?

Old 09-09-2005, 03:30 AM   #6
Hangin in There
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Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

I'll be blunt here....this could be it. He doesn't want to wake up next to you with morning breath and then maybe have to use your bathroom to "eliminate" and worry about you smelling it. Sorry for being gross.

I'm very self-conscious about personal things like that.

Old 09-09-2005, 07:20 AM   #7
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greeneyes100 HB User
Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

If you have already been intimate, then it seems he may be hiding something.

Have you been to his house and know for sure he is not married?

Last edited by greeneyes100; 09-09-2005 at 07:22 AM.

Old 09-09-2005, 07:53 AM   #8
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Daphnee HB User
Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

He probably wasn't ready for a commitment and he felt you were, so by you spending the night, it would further the idea in your head that this was exclusive.

The only other possibility is he turned gay, or already was gay, and realized what he did after the fact. It could be anything and it isn't worth worrying about anyway, so just chalk it up to men are from mars and women are from venus. Some men out there are wayyyy out there if you know what I mean....they aren't sure what planet they're from, lol.

Old 09-09-2005, 09:44 AM   #9
Join Date: Aug 2005
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LoveLife8888 HB User
Exclamation Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

Hello to all who answered this post and thanks for the replies.

I have been to his house a number of times during the day and nite and we have on 2 seperate occasions walked his dogs in and around his neighborhood once during the evening around 11pm and once during the day. We both live in a fairly small town (approx 30,000 people).

And yes he was deaply hurt once by his xwife who he was with from his teens until he was 36 (they broke up and got divorsed when she left him for his brother). Then 5 yrs later he started seeing a girl he eventually lived with who moved to England 5 yrs after that.

Personally my gut says he is definately single and is not ready to make that STEP of sleeping over. I really don't think it has anything to do with him dating others, just taking things slow.

Old 09-09-2005, 09:48 AM   #10
Join Date: Aug 2005
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LoveLife8888 HB User
Lightbulb Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

To sweet home. We go out, he spends time with me alone and with me and my 12 yr old son. He came up to the cottage for 2 days and 1 nite. My mom was there so he stayed in our cabin and I slept seperatly from him.

We share lots. We were together Wed of this week for the afternoon and then spoke on the phone for almost 2 yrs yesterday. We both live in the same small town together.

He said his last girfriend started sleeping over at his house and that led to her moving in with him. So I assured him I was not thinking of moving in with him because I have only know him just over 2 months.

Thanks and hope to hear more

Old 09-09-2005, 10:09 PM   #11
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JustErin HB User
Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

wow.......sounds like a nice guy who's been stomped on too many times. i know if i went through what he did i wouldn't rush into anything. just be patient. i think you're right.............he's afraid of moving to fast.

good luck

Old 09-10-2005, 05:29 AM   #12
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: ??? Has this ever happened to anyone???

I'm seeing a guy with a personal set of ethics and I'd hang in there as long as it took if the feelings are there on my side.
(These guys are like an endangered species nowadays...)

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