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Old 09-11-2005, 02:32 PM   #1
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Anti Social HB UserAnti Social HB UserAnti Social HB User
Question Missing the single life

Hi all..Ive been in a relationship for 2 yrs now & for about the last few months I have desperatly missed the 'single life'..I miss g/ out and doing what I want & meeting or hanging out w/ guys & just basically having the freedom.
Does anyone else in a relationship ever get these feelings? What do you think they mean? Are they normal in long term relationships?
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Old 09-11-2005, 04:05 PM   #2
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Re: Missing the single life

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anti Social
Hi all..Ive been in a relationship for 2 yrs now & for about the last few months I have desperatly missed the 'single life'..I miss g/ out and doing what I want & meeting or hanging out w/ guys & just basically having the freedom.
Does anyone else in a relationship ever get these feelings? What do you think they mean? Are they normal in long term relationships?
I think it would depend on how often you have these feelings. I'm sure when someone has been with someone else for awhile, some of the initial excitement wears off and they may think about being single again. But most of the time, these feelings are fleeting and don't last.

Are you sure you feel the same way about your boyfriend as you did before?

You can still do many of the things you did when you were single, except sleep with one someone else. Maybe you should starting going out with your girlfriends again, and do some things that don't involve your partner. You should always keep your own life and friends, apart from the one you share with your partner.

If the feelings continue and you still feel compelled to be with another man, maybe your current partner is not the right guy for you. I hope you can figure it out and good luck!

 
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Old 09-11-2005, 04:22 PM   #3
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here4support HB User
Talking Re: Missing the single life

Hi there I think I have to agree with Greeneyes on this. If you are feeling this way often, it may be a sign that maybe you arent' with the right partner.

I know when I met my husband (4yrs ago) I didn't want much of the partying going out life anymore. I knew I was ready to step away from that part of my life.

Now there are times, don't get me wrong when I would like to go "out" but usually I want my hubby to go also.....we don't get out much anyway but that is besides the point.

Try engaging in some activities with your friends (girls) go to a movie, shopping, or just hang out, w/out your boyfriend. See if that helps your feelings of wanting to be "Single" go away. If not, then I'd agree with Greeneyes, you might want to reconsider if he is the right person for you.

One word of wisdom though, no matter what relationship you are in, the beginning always seems great, then the excitement can ware away, however if you really truly like or love that person, you see past the excitement and realize there is more to the relationship worth working at!

 
Old 09-11-2005, 05:38 PM   #4
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ibeeshell HB User
Re: Missing the single life

Well human nature seems to be to want what one doesn't have. When you were single, you wanted a steady guy and now that you've had him for a while, you want to be single again.

If you are unsatisfied, then cut him loose and go have fun finding another. Chances are, he feels the same.

 
Old 09-11-2005, 07:12 PM   #5
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Re: Missing the single life

Thanks for the replies..I think its a combination of being in a relationship for so long and having some of the excitment wear off and missing the single life and like ibeeshell said-wanting what you cant have,he/she was 100% right w/ when I was single I wanted a steady guy and now that I have one,I want to be single(sometimes)..Its a catch 22 really..
But maybe its neither,maybe in some way I am trying to fill a void or something or maybe I feel like I am missing out on something.I dont know.Its just so confusing
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Old 09-11-2005, 09:13 PM   #6
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Re: Missing the single life

How old are you guys and how long have you been together? Are you married or living together? I mean, if you're just in your twenties for instance, and not livng together, I would say--go sew some wild oats for a while. I was very, very "single" b4 I got married and when I got married I knew I wanted to settle down--and even when times were horrible for many, many yrs--I never wanted to be single. (now, he had something different in mind after 10 yrs--so I'm single again--but that's beside the point.)

Now that I am single again, I'm doing the same thing now. Not getting commited and knowing tha tI am very ready b4 I were to ever think about settling down again. If you are young, and not heavily commited--you might want to contimplate, like the other posters said---am I with the ONE??

 
Old 09-12-2005, 09:05 AM   #7
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Re: Missing the single life

Well I am 23 & he is 27..We have known eachother for 6 yrs and have been in a relationship for 2 yrs.No,we arent living together & I dont think we will be for quite a while due to certain situations.
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The idle mind is the Devil's workshop.

 
Old 09-12-2005, 05:39 PM   #8
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here4support HB User
Talking Re: Missing the single life

Anti Social- Personally I think you may have hit the nail on the head. I think that you may be trying to fill a void of some other sort. I would suggest that you go to the library or book store and look for some books on self help, inner self, and self esteem. You may be surprised at what you learn!!!!

 
Old 09-12-2005, 06:26 PM   #9
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Re: Missing the single life

Anti Social,

I have been in a relationship for a little over 2 years now. Initial excitement was wonderful, everything seemed perfect. I understand things WILL die down, but when its love, you should still be happy and enjoy life. I think we are in the same boat, so maybe we can help eachother out. My boyfriend has learned to become over protective of me. This past weekend I went out without him for the first time. He texts/calls the entire time because he can't stand the fact im out having fun without him. He isnt always nice to me, very rude for a majority of the time. Seems like he is only happy if something sexual is happening between us. All the other times there are none. SO anyways, I went out and of course this other guy I used to like is there. We danced all night, and there is definitely some chemistry going on there. We have been friends since we were little. He was a gentleman. I know the initial excitement is there, but he is everything that my boyfriend now is not. Now I am stuck in this insanely high stressful life. I can't tell my boyfriend because he knows this other guy, and never likes him..he always knew he posed as a "threat" when it came to our relationship. I do not know what to do, but I can say I am much happier going out that being with him. Im too nice to the point that I spare my feelings before everyone else's and now I think it has caught up with me emotionally and now my body is feeling it. I need help.. any advice would help...but for you Anti Social, really think things through because I dont want you to end up how im feeling right now. Don't ever twist the truth around to make it right. ---SLUGirl

 
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