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Old 09-11-2005, 05:16 PM   #1
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Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

I'll keep this short,

I'm somewhere between 5'8'' and 5'9''. Do you think that puts me at a disadvantage when it comes to attracting the opposite gender?

Kind of a weird question.....but I have always appreciated what I've read here.

Thanks.

 
Old 09-11-2005, 05:24 PM   #2
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

My husband is 5'9" and I never ever thought about his height. Or weight. Or style of dress. Or eye color. Or.... well - you get the idea!!

 
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Old 09-11-2005, 05:29 PM   #3
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

My husband is 5'5" and I'm 5'6". While we have had a lot of problems, the height issue has never been one of them. Lots of women like shorter guys--they are easier to reach to kiss!

 
Old 09-11-2005, 06:01 PM   #4
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

I think the only way it could really be a problem is if you develop a "Napoleon Complex" where some short guys behave in a really pushy, obnoxious way to compensate for being short. But actually, 5'9" isn't really short at all, or at least I don't think so. I don't think you can really be called "short" for a man until you're in the 5'6", 5'5" range. Don't forget, Tom Cruise is shorter than Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes. When it comes to height, I really think it's only as much of a problem as you allow it to be. I'm a woman but I'm only 5'0" and it never bothers me. I'm sure there are a lot of guys out there who probably wouldn't want to date someone quite so short, but there are guys who would. I'm about the same height as Jada Pinkett Smith, Pat Benatar, Sheena Easton and Nia Peeples, so it never really bothers me. I don't go around trying to get noticed, talking loud or dressing with my cleavage hanging out or wearing 4 inch spikes. I hardly ever even wear heels. And I really don't believe it's ever put me at any really serious disadvantage.

 
Old 09-11-2005, 06:13 PM   #5
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

I like tall guys, so yes. But, I wouldn't let that get in the way if I really liked a person.

I also don't like blondes, so I wouldn't be as inclined to seek out a surfer dude. Just depends on what she wants.

 
Old 09-11-2005, 07:04 PM   #6
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

To be honest, I think yes for some women. I'm only 5'3", but I just don't find men below 6' or so to be attractive, and I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way. There are probably a lot of women who are willing to compromise though if they really like a guy...but to be realistic, it's not ideally what women go for. Then again, not all women put a lot of emphasis on physical appearance, and a lot of women have physical characteristics that some men consider less than desirable, so they're willing to overlook similar things in guys. It really depends on the woman...hopefully you won't run across any women you like a lot who have a strict height threshold or who aren't willing to compromise on physical characteristics out of necessity. I don't think there are too many who are really picky about it in the scheme of things...anyway, the most important thing is to be confident in your own skin. That's something all women find appealing, so don't let your height get you down.

 
Old 09-11-2005, 07:08 PM   #7
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

I don't think 5'9 is short. I'm 5'4 my hub is 6'. I tend to like tall guys, but I also like personality and I like a strong natured guy too. Heighth isn't THE most important. But I wouldn't date someone shorter then me.

BTW my 17 yr old son is 5' 9.5 and I am thrilled! He was always the shortest in his class in grade school, I was worried and then he finally started growing at about 14. He wears size 12 shoe, so maybe he might grow another inch or two?

 
Old 09-11-2005, 07:17 PM   #8
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

I definitely think a lot of guys keep growing, sometimes significantly, after 17. My college guy friends all seemed to get taller between when they started and when they graduated, so I'm sure your son will end up at least a few inches taller. Sounds like you caught yourself quite a keeper, Shelly--congratulations!

 
Old 09-11-2005, 07:31 PM   #9
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

I'm 5'7, female. I hated to be tall as a youth but now it has no effect on me what so ever. I don't think your short at 5'8 or 5'9. I have dated men in that range. And most women are not as tall as i am. I don't believe they would consider your height a downfall. I have a sister who is 5'9 and her husband is somewhere around 5'6..for some people it doesn't matter. More than likely i think most women are happy to date someone around their height or slightly taller.
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Old 09-11-2005, 08:47 PM   #10
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eaglesgirl37
To be honest, I think yes for some women. I'm only 5'3", but I just don't find men below 6' or so to be attractive, and I don't think I'm the only one who feels that way. There are probably a lot of women who are willing to compromise though if they really like a guy...but to be realistic, it's not ideally what women go for.
Jeesh!! You don't find under six feet to be attractive?! That means you eliminate literally 80% of the male population....wow....well I guess that it's the same as guys who won't date a girl unless she has nice skin, slim, pretty face, nice boobs etc.....it just narrows your choices. But it happens all the time. And so many people are unhappy in their love lives....

 
Old 09-11-2005, 08:58 PM   #11
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

Eaglesgirl--

Just wanted to give ya some company--I have never dated a man even the same height as me--always taller. Just don't find them attractive.....and I am 5' 10"!!! It's a preference like anything else. Hair color doesn't matter, money doesn't matter, but great looks, a nice bod and height are factors for me. Not shallow, just what gets me going. Why is it that if a girl likes a hot looking guy with a nice body and tall she's shallow, but if a girl likes a big fat guy she's evolved or something? Preference is preference.

 
Old 09-11-2005, 09:28 PM   #12
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

I am most attracted to guys who are confident (not cocky, just self-assured). So, the only problem I would have in dating a guy who is not considered tall, is that I have yet to meet a confident one (unless they are already married or in a committed relationship). I really do think confidence is key--whether you are a guy or girl. As Nini said, just look at Tom Cruise!

 
Old 09-12-2005, 01:33 AM   #13
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Finished1984
Jeesh!! You don't find under six feet to be attractive?! That means you eliminate literally 80% of the male population....wow....well I guess that it's the same as guys who won't date a girl unless she has nice skin, slim, pretty face, nice boobs etc.....it just narrows your choices. But it happens all the time. And so many people are unhappy in their love lives....
Thanks Laurie! I always love to hear your candid, incisive input, and it's always great to see smart, sexy, and empowered women like you attacking the traditional sexist double standards that still all too often prevail when it comes to dating. No one blinks an eye at dowdy middle aged men who demand their dates be young and sexy, but it seems that men are awfully quick to label attractive, perhaps threatening women as shallow for being picky when it comes to looks. I guess it's understandable, as most men probably don't want the same exacting microscope with which they evaluate potential dates' physical appearances under turned back on them. For far too long, it's been expected that women evaluate men as much more than purely physical specimens, and unfortunately, we've needed to for far too long due to social, political, and economic inequities including the inherently unequal institution of marriage. Men just seem to get awfully nervous when women don't need to settle for one guy who doesn't wow us physically out of financial or social need...but if women are scrutinized and dispassionately eliminated as potential dates by men all the time based on appearance, why in the world can't we women do the same thing? It bothers me sometimes that you never hear anyone coming down hard on other guys for having very specific, discriminating physical standards for potential dates, even though many men hold women to a higher standard of physical attractiveness than their own appearances would seem to warrant.

I've experienced this a lot doing online dating...men under six feet either outright ignore my specification that I'm not interested in them or send me emails accusing me of being shallow for only being attracted to tall guys. To say nothing of the balding, overweight men twice my age who seem absolutely convinced that a young, pretty girl should be dripping with gratitude for the chance to date them and act very indignant when I'm not. I just don't think I should have to apologize for having precise standards and excluding suitors who don't fit the criteria I'm looking for, physical and otherwise. I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I've always gotten a ton of male attention, and I'm lucky enough to be able to afford to filter out those who don't match the physical and mental qualities I'm looking for without running short of interested dates. It would be one thing if Laurie or I had trouble meeting enough tall men who had all the characteristics we're looking for in potential partners, in which case I'd say that we should reconsider limiting our dates to tall guys, but as it stands, there's nothing wrong with only dating men who we find physically desirable.

I really didn't mean to offend you with my response, but I sensed you were going to get a ton of, "no, height doesn't matter responses," which although they reflect the view of most women, aren't an accurate reflection of the way all of us feel, especially those who can afford to be very choosy. The truth is, I along with a minority of other women, just don't find short men to be attractive, probably in much the same way men don't find overweight women to be attractive. To me, they just don't seem sufficiently masculine or have an imposing, sexy presence...I've never been able to find one really appealing to me on a personal level. To me, it's absolutely essential that a guy be substantially taller than me in order for me to find him physically appealing. I'm sorry if my response displeased you; I was just trying to respond honestly to a question for which you seemed to want genuine answers. I don't think having high standards physically and otherwise has anything to do with why many people are unhappy in love, though perhaps there is some truth to the converse...I really have been quite lucky and happy with my love life as much as anyone can expect to be, so I can't accurately speculate on that. I don't kid myself that this is because of my intelligence or personality nearly to the extent that it's due to my having the kind of looks that (in my experience) are pretty much universally appealing to men. I know it's not really fair that being physically attractive as a woman gives one a virtually unlimited selection of potential dates and the option to be extremely discriminating, but everyone has the right to their own physical preferences. All of my boyfriends have been very picky when it comes to wanting a girl whom both they and other men consider beautiful and sexy, just as I've been picky in wanting a tall, muscular, athletic man who is also very intelligent, highly educated, politically liberal, and non-religious. I can't help that I don't find short men attractive, and I don't see any reason to apologize for it, though I would work on being a little more forgiving about height if I experienced difficulty finding partners who fit the criteria I'm looking for. I don't think there's anything particularly shallow about it, just the way the world works. But like I said, while women like Laurie and me see height as an integral part of a physically attractive man and are fortunate enough to be able to be so selective and still find compatible partners, many other women either don't consider height to be a big deal and/or can't afford to be so physically discriminating.

The most important thing is not to let your height infringe on your self-confidence, because there is nothing that turns people off more than someone who clearly isn't comfortable or pleased with his or herself, inside and out. And please please don't lie about your height if you decide to do online dating or some other kind of personal ad...it's not like a woman won't be able to tell as soon as she meets you in person. I was really excited about meeting a guy who exaggerated his height by 3-4 inches...I commented on the deception after a bouncer pointed out the discrepancy between his license's statistics and his apperance, and he got really angry and defensive and insisted that I was mistaken. Sorry, but you can't argue and badger a woman into thinking you're taller than you are or make her find you attractive if she's just not feeling it. Fortunately, I think most women don't consider height that important, or at least not a deal-breaker, though I think they're probably lying to say that a man being tall isn't an appealing quality in general. But I doubt it will get in the way much when it comes to dating, at least I sincerely hope not in your case. However, it's smart to be aware that it is a turn-off or even a dealbreaker for some women, and to not get angry or take it personally if you run across a woman with this view. People can't help who and what they find attractive, but I have no doubt that there are women out there who will love and want you just the way you are. Good luck, best wishes, and happy dating!!

 
Old 09-12-2005, 05:19 AM   #14
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eaglesgirl37
Thanks Laurie! I always love to hear your candid, incisive input, and it's always great to see smart, sexy, and empowered women like you attacking the traditional sexist double standards that still all too often prevail when it comes to dating. No one blinks an eye at dowdy middle aged men who demand their dates be young and sexy, but it seems that men are awfully quick to label attractive, perhaps threatening women as shallow for being picky when it comes to looks. I guess it's understandable, as most men probably don't want the same exacting microscope with which they evaluate potential dates' physical appearances under turned back on them. For far too long, it's been expected that women evaluate men as much more than purely physical specimens, and unfortunately, we've needed to for far too long due to social, political, and economic inequities including the inherently unequal institution of marriage. Men just seem to get awfully nervous when women don't need to settle for one guy who doesn't wow us physically out of financial or social need...but if women are scrutinized and dispassionately eliminated as potential dates by men all the time based on appearance, why in the world can't we women do the same thing? It bothers me sometimes that you never hear anyone coming down hard on other guys for having very specific, discriminating physical standards for potential dates, even though many men hold women to a higher standard of physical attractiveness than their own appearances would seem to warrant.

I've experienced this a lot doing online dating...men under six feet either outright ignore my specification that I'm not interested in them or send me emails accusing me of being shallow for only being attracted to tall guys. To say nothing of the balding, overweight men twice my age who seem absolutely convinced that a young, pretty girl should be dripping with gratitude for the chance to date them and act very indignant when I'm not. I just don't think I should have to apologize for having precise standards and excluding suitors who don't fit the criteria I'm looking for, physical and otherwise. I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I've always gotten a ton of male attention, and I'm lucky enough to be able to afford to filter out those who don't match the physical and mental qualities I'm looking for without running short of interested dates. It would be one thing if Laurie or I had trouble meeting enough tall men who had all the characteristics we're looking for in potential partners, in which case I'd say that we should reconsider limiting our dates to tall guys, but as it stands, there's nothing wrong with only dating men who we find physically desirable.

I really didn't mean to offend you with my response, but I sensed you were going to get a ton of, "no, height doesn't matter responses," which although they reflect the view of most women, aren't an accurate reflection of the way all of us feel, especially those who can afford to be very choosy. The truth is, I along with a minority of other women, just don't find short men to be attractive, probably in much the same way men don't find overweight women to be attractive. To me, they just don't seem sufficiently masculine or have an imposing, sexy presence...I've never been able to find one really appealing to me on a personal level. To me, it's absolutely essential that a guy be substantially taller than me in order for me to find him physically appealing. I'm sorry if my response displeased you; I was just trying to respond honestly to a question for which you seemed to want genuine answers. I don't think having high standards physically and otherwise has anything to do with why many people are unhappy in love, though perhaps there is some truth to the converse...I really have been quite lucky and happy with my love life as much as anyone can expect to be, so I can't accurately speculate on that. I don't kid myself that this is because of my intelligence or personality nearly to the extent that it's due to my having the kind of looks that (in my experience) are pretty much universally appealing to men. I know it's not really fair that being physically attractive as a woman gives one a virtually unlimited selection of potential dates and the option to be extremely discriminating, but everyone has the right to their own physical preferences. All of my boyfriends have been very picky when it comes to wanting a girl whom both they and other men consider beautiful and sexy, just as I've been picky in wanting a tall, muscular, athletic man who is also very intelligent, highly educated, politically liberal, and non-religious. I can't help that I don't find short men attractive, and I don't see any reason to apologize for it, though I would work on being a little more forgiving about height if I experienced difficulty finding partners who fit the criteria I'm looking for. I don't think there's anything particularly shallow about it, just the way the world works. But like I said, while women like Laurie and me see height as an integral part of a physically attractive man and are fortunate enough to be able to be so selective and still find compatible partners, many other women either don't consider height to be a big deal and/or can't afford to be so physically discriminating.

The most important thing is not to let your height infringe on your self-confidence, because there is nothing that turns people off more than someone who clearly isn't comfortable or pleased with his or herself, inside and out. And please please don't lie about your height if you decide to do online dating or some other kind of personal ad...it's not like a woman won't be able to tell as soon as she meets you in person. I was really excited about meeting a guy who exaggerated his height by 3-4 inches...I commented on the deception after a bouncer pointed out the discrepancy between his license's statistics and his apperance, and he got really angry and defensive and insisted that I was mistaken. Sorry, but you can't argue and badger a woman into thinking you're taller than you are or make her find you attractive if she's just not feeling it. Fortunately, I think most women don't consider height that important, or at least not a deal-breaker, though I think they're probably lying to say that a man being tall isn't an appealing quality in general. But I doubt it will get in the way much when it comes to dating, at least I sincerely hope not in your case. However, it's smart to be aware that it is a turn-off or even a dealbreaker for some women, and to not get angry or take it personally if you run across a woman with this view. People can't help who and what they find attractive, but I have no doubt that there are women out there who will love and want you just the way you are. Good luck, best wishes, and happy dating!!
You got cliff notes for that essay. I ain't readin' all that!!

 
Old 09-12-2005, 06:12 AM   #15
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Re: Is 5'8'' short when it comes to the dating scene?

I personally like reading your "essays" as they are quite intelligently written, well thought out, and articulate.

What the heck is wrong with saying you like tall , hot guys if that's your preference? Guys who are attracted to me obviously like leggy, pretty, tall brunettes. What terrible little shallow poopies they are for liking hot women!! he he he!!

 
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