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Old 09-12-2005, 08:10 PM   #1
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How to deal with temptation?

Ok I seriously don't know what to do about this situation. I've asked my friends and all their advice is conflicting and I'm so confused so i'm gonna give it a shot here to see if anyone can help me find myself.

I've been dating this girl for about 1 month now(I've known her for 2 though) and she is pretty nice. She is probably one of the sweetest people I've ever met and she adores me. I do like her back, but the thing that gets me is our age difference of 6 years. She is 18 and I am 24(same age as my little brother O_O). While she is one of the most mature people of her age I have ever met(part of the reason I like her) she does have her moments. Not only that but a stalker ex-boyfriend who won't leave her alone. She is not the best looking person in the world though I think she is cute enough.

Now enters temptation. I go to college as a Information Technology student and before I met my girlfriend I met this girl online from my school and we have were talking though never actually met. Untill this past 1 1/2 weeks. Only for short times while studying and not really much was said. Though she does talk to me online. She is one of the most beutiful people I have ever met in my life. I don't know if she has a bf or if she knows I have a gf though it says so right on my {removed} . I'm not really sure if she wants to go out with me or just be friends. Though she did ask me today what I was doing later. Thank god I was busy, because I have to collect my thoughts as to what i'm going to do. I dont want to cheat and I don't want to lie. I have had that happen to me in almost every one of my relationships to me and it feels horrible enough that I don't want to visit that upon anyone ever. Oh yes this girl is also my age. She is quite intellegent and a eloquent(sp?) speaker. She did ask me to call tonight but I, also thankfully can't because {removed} is down and I can't retrieve her number. I know she is throwing hints out their trying to probe my interest in her, but for what I dont' know.

I'm just so confused as what I want right now. I really like my girlfriend alot, but also their is this other girl who seems just as nice. But, I just don't know what to do. Any help at all, even the slightest to help me sort things out with myself would be very appreciated. Thanks in advance!


-Elazul

Last edited by Modinatrix21; 09-12-2005 at 08:50 PM. Reason: Read posting rules. No websites.

 
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Old 09-12-2005, 08:28 PM   #2
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Re: How to deal with temptation?

well since you haven't met the other girl in person or know if you would even be attracted to you, I would suggest looking at her as a friend, or maybe meeting as a friend. You don't have to go any further than that. You should be able to have friends, you're in college. Just don't take it to the next level with her, unless you break up with your girlfriend first.

On the other hand, a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush. You already like your present girlfriend, you don't know if you will click with the new one, don't blow a good thing.

 
Old 09-12-2005, 08:39 PM   #3
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Re: How to deal with temptation?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz
well since you haven't met the other girl in person or know if you would even be attracted to you, I would suggest looking at her as a friend, or maybe meeting as a friend. You don't have to go any further than that. You should be able to have friends, you're in college. Just don't take it to the next level with her, unless you break up with your girlfriend first.

On the other hand, a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush. You already like your present girlfriend, you don't know if you will click with the new one, don't blow a good thing.
This is what one of my friends recommended. Call her and talk to her(the new girl) and see what she is like more. Possibly schedule something with her to do something just as friends, but make perfectly clear that you just want to be friends currently. He mentioned to tell her that I currently have a girlfriend but I don't know if that would be good or bad? He also mentioned to find out if she has a boyfriend and if she is looking to hookup with you when she has a boyfriend to just forget her as it will just be her doing that to you later if you do get with her. He also mentioned not to blow a good thing. Needless to say it would probably be a bad idea to mention anything even doing something with this girl even as friends.

My other friends on the other hand are less, shall we say "responsible" with their opinions. I've received the just have sex with her and don't tell your girlfriend to all sorts of weirdness.

I'm just so confused. I havn't had this happen to me before. Thanks for your reply though. I really appreciate it alot.

-Elazul

 
Old 09-12-2005, 08:46 PM   #4
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Re: How to deal with temptation?

Oh yeah forgot to mention. As to her possibly wanting me as a friend, I'm not so sure about. Saying things like I look drop dead gorgeous, calling me hot, and saying her heart stops when she meets me sounds like a little more to me. I dunno. I could be misinterpreting things possibly.

 
Old 09-12-2005, 08:50 PM   #5
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Re: How to deal with temptation?

have you 2 seen pictures of each other?

 
Old 09-12-2005, 08:57 PM   #6
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Re: How to deal with temptation?

After only a month, are you sure it would be considered cheating to date them both? Have you committed to dating the previous girl exclusively after such a short time? You guys are awfully young to be more than casually dating after only a month in my view...anyway, if you have discussed being exclusive, I think you might want to rethink that, because you sound lukewarm (at best) about her. She deserves a boyfriend who thinks she's really beautiful and great, not just one who's keeping her around as his backup choice in case someone he likes better doesn't reciprocate his interest. If another girl is so much more appealing after only a month, when you should still be in the honeymoon phase and totally crazy about, and enamored with, each other, I don't think there's any real future potential with you and the girl you're dating now. I'd suggest ending things with her and going after the girl who really wows you...you deserve a girlfriend who you consider more than "ok" and kind of immature, and she deserves a guy who's really into her, not considering going for another girl he likes a lot better after such a short time together.

 
Old 09-12-2005, 08:57 PM   #7
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Re: How to deal with temptation?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz
have you 2 seen pictures of each other?
Yes, that and she goes to my school and I've met her in person a few times. Though briefly as we are both busy people there and I like to maintain a sense of profesionalism as if I'm at a work environment.

 
Old 09-12-2005, 09:01 PM   #8
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Re: How to deal with temptation?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eaglesgirl37
After only a month, are you sure it would be considered cheating to date them both? Have you committed to dating the previous girl exclusively after such a short time? You guys are awfully young to be more than casually dating after only a month in my view...anyway, if you have discussed being exclusive, I think you might want to rethink that, because you sound lukewarm (at best) about her. She deserves a boyfriend who thinks she's really beautiful and great, not just one who's keeping her around as his backup choice in case someone he likes better doesn't reciprocate his interest. If another girl is so much more appealing after only a month, when you should still be in the honeymoon phase and totally crazy about, and enamored with, each other, I don't think there's any real future potential with you and the girl you're dating now. I'd suggest ending things with her and going after the girl who really wows you...you deserve a girlfriend who you consider more than "ok" and kind of immature, and she deserves a guy who's really into her, not considering going for another girl he likes a lot better after such a short time together.
Quite a good point. As to me just liking her ok its a bit more than that to me. At least thats how i'm thinking. Yes we have already talked about exclusive relationship. She is all I can think about sometimes, but this other girl I think about too sometimes. Crazy that may seem, and indeed it does to me.

 
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