Hey all, this is not realy a relationship question but i cant think of a better stop to ask it.
Im not afraid to talk to people, i dont have any form of social fear or fear of being judged. I would like to be able to have a conversation with a girl and not feel all "stupid and dont know what else to say" getting what im saying? I grew up an only child so alot of the time im at school (im a senior in highschool) i sorta just walk around alone and talk to all kinds of different people that are hangin out.
All i can really think about saying when i walk up to a girls is something totaly outragous like "Did you hear about the Volcano in the middle of SanFrancisco?" they say "no really?" and then i respond with "No, but i couldnt think of anything else to say"
Am i a moron or what? what should i be doing instead?
well first off you can stop viewing women as some unobtainable object. most women are not all that bright and are just insecure as you are. just treat them as a friend or a family member and an equal. don't try using "witty outrageous" lines. women can smell fear from a mile away and that is one of their talents, and they don't like it. read that man from mars women from venus book, it will give you insight most likely in how to deal with them.
exactly, if you can talk to friends, family, or guys, why can't you talk to girls? their just people (hmmm soft, squishy, loveable people) but people all the same, with needs, wants desires, and a unique life history. how do you approach/ talk to guys?
while walking up to a group of girls keep an eye and an ear out, if they mention a sport you know something about, bring that up, if their reading (or carrying) a book you know, perhaps try that... instead of asking "did you hear about (insert news story here)" ask them their OPINION on an issue that's in the news... and don't just agree with them for the sake of agreeing, if you genuinely agree, don't lie though... conversation between two people that agree can be pretty slow and boring.
also listen when they answer... usually in their answer's will be something to continue conversation along... but you should know all this because you do this with guys you talk to don't you?
and being an only child isn't a handycap or an excuse... i am very shy about approaching strangers and i have a brother... which meant that i never had to push myself to make friends because my bro was (and is) my best friend
One thiing about being an only child that can make it tough to relate to your peers is if you're anything like me, you grew up surrounded by adults and are more comfortable talking to older people than people your own age. Still, I think only children can become very sociable and outgoing, especially because they're usually quite bright, articulate, and well-informed. I was really really shy as a little girl, but by the end of elementary school, I had mostly came out of my shell, and I was pretty confident and sociable from then on. It definitely helped that a lot of guys were interested in me and made the first move, so I know it's much more difficult for guys who are a bit shy to get up the courage to approach women they're interested in and start up conversations. I think the other posters gave you good advice (other than the person who said women aren't intelligent or secure), just try and talk to girls in a natural, friendly way, similar to how you'd chat with your male friends except a bit more polite. Asking them their opinion about something, a question about their weekend plans, their friends, or school is usually a good way to get a conversation going. And remember that chances are, they'll be happy to talk to you and pleased that you made the effort to approach them and even if not, you'll have gained valuable practice and experience just by trying. I'd make an effort to start a chat with at least one girl at school each day, even if you're only asking her one question...good luck and hopefully you'll be feeling much more comfortable around women before long!
stop viewing women as some unobtainable object. most women are not all that bright and are just insecure as you are. just treat them as a friend or a family member and an equal. don't try using "witty outrageous" lines. women can smell fear from a mile away and that is one of their talents, and they don't like it. read that man from mars women from venus book, it will give you insight most likely in how to deal with them.
treating them as family members(ewwww!!) is a really good idea ...hear the dueling banjos playing?
thanks for the funnies, aqua
hiya mendo,
senior yr is a good time to meet new friends or talk to the one's you've always wanted to. Becasue:
-tell that hottie how you feel, direct approach, if she likes what she's hearing, you'll have a memorable yr. If not, you're leaving for college anyways.
-all seniors have the same concern, what to do after high school, which college, who's paying, how to afford college, what major, dreams, aspirations, vacation, travels, jobs, etc. You have lots of things in common to talk about.
Find out who's going to the same college, which major, dorms or off campus, driving, car pool, lot&lots of possibilities.
-use your year book as a tool to approach them. Discuss the quality of the pic, what you were wearing, what da heck were you thinking when you wore that pink shirt to school, hehe(they are still b&w aren't they?)
-use this year to join clubs and intramural activities. Good place to meet people with similar interest.
-got a phone with a camera? ask the hottie to pose for your "new" phone.
Give her the whole schtick about your calling plan, rates, etc.
Remember, this is prob gonna b the last time u'll ever see these people again; who cares if you make a fool of yourself. Just don't stalk that hottie if she says no...or stalk them if you like, ur going to college anyways
Just be yourself, sweetie. Try to engage her with a funny joke or something. That usually works, especially if she likes funny guys. Act like your intersted in her and you're hanging on her every word, like you think she is the most special thing to you. I know it sounds strange but don't over do it unless you REALLY are into her.
...hear the dueling banjos playing?
