This is so hard...
Some of you might remember my post about "my wife cheating" last month (click on my username to read the old post).
Well, a month later and she filed for divorce the end of August without ever going to counseling with me to resolve our issues.
I tried to give her space, but I think it turned out she was simply waiting the required 30-days to file in our county.
We have agreed to 50/50 joint physical custody of our two little girls. It works out to 15/15 of each month for each of us. We basically rotate out each week (weekends and a couple of week days). I am buying a house just 1/2 mile from hers (best house I looked out anyway, just happened to be very close). We split up all the big things, furniture, who gets what car, dishes, ect but never got down to the small things... like kid toys/clothes/baby items.
When I brought it up to her, she got mad at me. She thought it was ridiculous that I wanted to get some of the girls things. I have been the PCT for these two little girls since they were born, so just allowing her to keep all the baby items... toys... clothes is not in my cards.
She said I have been 'petty' about this divorce, which again... was just filed two weeks ago. She acts like it should be an overnight thing and I should move on.
After nine years of being married and 11 years together, almost 40% of my life with her, this is really-really hard on me. I feel so lonely, so alone, so lost. She still talks to the guy she had the affair with but tells me they are now just friends. The thought of her being with this man makes me sick to my stomach.
Even though she has left me and saw someone else before I knew she wanted to leave, I miss her. I still deeply care for her and love her but again it seems she is already over me. I just don't get it after all these years.
Like I said a few times, this just flat out sucks. I wish this feeling would go away. I wish I could go back in time or wake up.