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Old 10-10-2005, 10:38 AM   #1
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chameon HB User
Busy weekends?

Does the following sound normal?

I've been with my bf for 4 months.
We see each other 3 times a week (weekdays).
We spend quality time everytime we are together.
I met his close friends.
I've never met his family.
We live an hour way from each other, I never been to his house.
He lives with his family.
He works near my house, we spend time around my area after he gets off work.
He is busy with friends or family on the weekends.
When I call he is always available to talk.
He reports to me wherever he goes after (details).

I have never gone out with anybody for 4 months without meeting the family or hang out at his house or hang out on weekends (i.e. regularly). Does anybody find this wierd, or am I thinking too much?

We never talked about this issue (i.e. sat down and talked seriously). Should I ask him and how do I go about in doing this?

Last edited by chameon; 10-10-2005 at 12:32 PM.

 
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Old 10-10-2005, 11:20 AM   #2
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greeneyes100 HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by chame
Does the following sound normal?

I've been with my bf for 4 months.
We see each other 3 times a week (weekdays).
We spend quality time everytime we are together.
I met his close friends.
I've never met his family.
We live an hour way from each other, I never been to his house.
He lives with his family.
He works near my house, we spend time around my area after he gets off work.
He is busy with friends or family on the weekends.
When I call he is always available to talk.
He reports to me wherever he goes after (details).

I have never gone out with anybody for 4 months without meeting the family or hang out at his house or hang out on weekends. Does anybody find this wierd, or am I thinking too much?

We never talked about this issue. Should I ask him and how do I go about in doing this?
You are not going to like what you hear, but I think this man may be married or involved with someone else, or simply juggling different women. You need to find out for sure before you get in any deeper. Follow him sometime if you must (do a little detective work), or ask around.

When a man never wants to see you on the weekends, it's a huge red flag!

 
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Old 10-10-2005, 12:08 PM   #3
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susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

I agree with greeneyes. Something just isn't adding up. Now granted, you have only been together 4 months - That's not a long time, but you would think a weekend would be included.
I think he maybe juggling women.

 
Old 10-10-2005, 12:28 PM   #4
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chameon HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

Maybe I could elaborate more on our situation so you guys can get a better picture...

He was involved in a sports team that had competitions on weekends, then at night he hangs out with his teammates. I indirectly suggested to him I wanted to see him on the weekends, and he made the effort to come see me a few weekends when there isn't competitions. He has immediate family that lives out of town and he goes with his family to visit for the weekend every month. I tried calling his house during these trips and nobody picks up, so I guess he did go with his family?

In my previous relationships, I spend if not all, most weekends with my bf. I do understand that every relationship is different and I don't want to make it a big issue. Am I expecting too much?

Also, I feel really uneasy in the fact that he has never found an opportunity to introduce me to his family. I have never had this problem before because I would consider myself the type of girl that ppl can bring home to meet the parents (i.e. friends always do). The only thing I can think of is that we went out right after his ex and him broke up, so he don't want his family to think I had anything to do with that? Or is it that 4 months is still a little too early on the relationship to be worrying about this?

Any opinion is appreciated

Last edited by chameon; 10-10-2005 at 12:40 PM.

 
Old 10-10-2005, 01:23 PM   #5
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Location: Georgetown Ontario Canada
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LoveLife8888 HB User
Lightbulb Re: Busy weekends?



TO CHAME: Read my post on page 2 now I believe. I am LoveLife8888 and I have the exact same thing happening to me as you.

1. Know my bf (or friend - not sure which now - probably XXX - based on the replies I got) 3.5 months AND I have never seen him on a Sat. nite or Sunday or Sunday nite.
2. Read my info.
3. I have already put my profile back up on 2 single internet sites. I am not liking your senerio or mine.
4. Does your bf ever go AWOL on you for a week or longer where he is UNAVAILABLE to you? That is a big clue.
5. At least you have met his friends. I have not met either his friends or family so that is why he is now an X in my eyes.

Hey greeneyes100 - you answered my post last week and here we have another post just the same.

Does this guy happen to live in Georgetown or Port Credit Ontario Canada???
Might be the same guy I see. LOL (not really funny but these guys must be caught).
Sometimes though they have commitment issues, but in my case I think he has a gf in every city or wherever and he is a dishonest juggler.

State your case to him and if he won't bend for you - kick him to the curb I would say.

 
Old 10-10-2005, 01:55 PM   #6
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

Well, I think the unavailability on weekends combined with the fact you have never been invited to his house in four months is very strange. Has he been to your house? Then why doesn't he invite you to his place? What's his excuse? That is not normal; the guys I've dated invited me to see their apartments probably in less than a month of dating. Also, what guy in his right mind would prefer to spend most weekends with his family rather than a new girlfriend?? Not normal, either. I would be suspicious for sure.

 
Old 10-10-2005, 03:58 PM   #7
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Hangin in There HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

I know my ex-boyfriend was divorced, but I was with him over three years and never met his family!

 
Old 10-10-2005, 05:20 PM   #8
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LittleRose1982 HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

Hey Chame!

I agree with the others who say there's a good chance he's juggling women, or worse of... he's married. Some of his reasons for not being available do sound reasonable, but you should still keep your eyes open to everything. Pay attention to little details of his weekends and keep a mental log. I would be suspicious if I were you.
YOu also need to ask yourself, is this the type of relationship you want to have? Even if he's not cheating, do you really want to continue to be with someone who is never available on weekends? It sounds like he may be looking for a dating scenario that's a little more casual than what you're looking for.

This is off the topic, but lovelife8888's post made me think of something! How great would it be to start some kind of internet business which involves a website where women can put their relationship on record in some way (like Susie Sue started dating Johny John in December 2005). And you can log onto this website and search names in your area to see if the guy you're dating is already logged with someone else! HA! All the cheaters would be caught! What a great fantasy...

 
Old 10-10-2005, 07:30 PM   #9
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

Why not take the hour drive and stop by his town? Is there any shopping malls near his house or in his town?

4 months and no visit to HIS Town or attending a game? Ummm - I think you have figured it out for yourself but you must SEE for yourself.

If it were me - I would take a friend or go alone and visit his town, pass his house, call his cell phone and tell him you felt like going for a ride and look where your Ride Led You too...

If you're having thoughts then act upon them. Spy Girlharley knows the tricks. Alittle Ride never hurt anyone unless some Truth was found out.

Please keep us posted if you decide to take your Spy Trip and keep us posted.

 
Old 10-16-2005, 02:16 PM   #10
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chameon HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

here's an update to my situation...

Well, before I start to do all the "psycho gf" spy missions :P I decided to do something else... not see him on the weekdays ... and asked him if he would like to come to my friend's birthday with me on saturday... so on saturday he called to see if I like to do something before the party but I told him I was busy... we then went to the party together, he was right beside me and whole time... when he drove me home he wanted to spend more time with me and we spend the night together

I guess this is a good start?... I'll just not see him on weekdays from now on then...

 
Old 10-16-2005, 06:01 PM   #11
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greeneyes100 HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by chame
here's an update to my situation...

Well, before I start to do all the "psycho gf" spy missions :P I decided to do something else... not see him on the weekdays ... and asked him if he would like to come to my friend's birthday with me on saturday... so on saturday he called to see if I like to do something before the party but I told him I was busy... we then went to the party together, he was right beside me and whole time... when he drove me home he wanted to spend more time with me and we spend the night together

I guess this is a good start?... I'll just not see him on weekdays from now on then...
Excellent work! That just goes to show that actions speak much louder than words. By refusing to see him during the week, it prompted him to see you on the weekends. Sounds like things are moving along great. You smart cookie!

 
Old 10-16-2005, 08:13 PM   #12
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Cokiemonsta HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

Ive gone out with my boyfriend for a year without meeting his family but that was all me.. i was too shy to meet them..
Nothing is weird in my opinion lol

 
Old 10-16-2005, 09:02 PM   #13
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LoveLife8888 HB User
Lightbulb Re: Busy weekends?



Hello everyone. Update on my situation. Because of the following I decided to stop seeing this guy who:

1. I never met any of his friends (or family) in 3.5 months.
2. Never saw him on a Sat. nite, Sunday or Sunday nite.
3. He would never sleep overnite with me (when my son was not home of course).
4. July and August I was north of this town for every weekend with my mom and son except one, and that one he could only see me Friday nite and Sat. during the day until 4:30pm. (So I could not guage what was going on in July and Aug. 2005). BUT....
5. In Sept. and Oct. he did NOT see me any time on Sat./Sunday and I had asked him to various things on these weekends (which added up to 7 weekends in a row) and he said no to all and had various different excuses as to why he could not see me which sounded hokyyee.
WOW huge red flags to me.

p/s and I decided that I don't want to hang with a guy where we had a verbal commited relationship where we were both exclusive to each other where I don't meet at least some of his friends and don't see him on the weekends. Forget it.
pp/s and I won't see a guy who goes AWOL for 10 days with no communication. FORGET that horse sh-t.

ppp/s - and if a guy only sees you on weekends but not thru the week and you both live in the same town that is also a red flag.

BUT - I hear that guys don't feel commited to a girl until they are married. That is the commitment for them SO I have decided to not commit to anyone exclusively UNTIL I am married again.

SO THERE

Someone In Ontario Canada

Last edited by LoveLife8888; 10-16-2005 at 09:05 PM. Reason: Change in structure of sentence

 
Old 10-17-2005, 07:46 AM   #14
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Busy weekends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveLife8888


BUT - I hear that guys don't feel commited to a girl until they are married. That is the commitment for them SO I have decided to not commit to anyone exclusively UNTIL I am married again.

SO THERE

Someone In Ontario Canada
You know, I never thought this could be true, until this guy I knew from college told me so. He was cheating on his long-term girlfriend with other women. They were always "on and off," the off-periods always being instigated by him, so I'm not sure if he only slept with other women during the "off" times or the "on" times as well, but to me that's cheating anyway. So I asked him about it one day, and he said he WASN'T cheating because he was not married to the girl. He said if he was married, he would NEVER cheat on his wife. To him, as long as he didn't take any vows, there was no commitment. I was shocked, but I'm sure some men think this way. The women think of themselves as "committed," meanwhile the guy thinks he's "single." Interesting, huh?

 
Old 10-17-2005, 12:48 PM   #15
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LoveLife8888 HB User
Lightbulb Re: Busy weekends?

YEA. Right on.

But if someone makes a verbal commitment to someone else, don't you think they should stand by that???

But even people that are married cheat and sometimes break up with whom they are married to.

So, my conclusion is: nothing in this world is for sure and I give up.
Maybe one day I will meet someone again like my x husband who is not a cheater. Problem with my X was he was verbally abusive, then crossed the line. Once he crossed the line (nothing major but enough to make me get him out of the house) I got him out of the house and we have a cordial relationship as friends only when he picks his son up once every 3 weeks for a visit for about 6 hrs. on a Sunday, which is fine for me and my 12 yr old son.

Take care

 
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