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Old 10-23-2005, 04:33 PM   #1
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midblue_alone HB User
Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

Hi there ! I already posted here some of my problems about my marriage & hers another one...

Im bored with my life here in this country (hubby's country) & in this marriage.Yesterday i talked to my husband & i told him about it & i asked permission if i could go home to my own country for a while coz i would like to go back to school & get some degree in College.Before i got married I took 4 yrs. in College but i didnt finish the course so i am undergraduate.
Now,I like to have new outlook in life & i want to go back to school again ,try a new course like computer course.I said he could come and visit me & vice versa.He permitted me & was supportive with it.The problem is im a lil guilty that ill be goin home to my own country somewhere here in Asia,4 hrs. flight. & he'll be here alone in our house (his own country).He cant come with me coz he has a job here but he said its alright & that definitely he would pay a visit.

I just feel a lil bit of guilt although im very happy that i could go home & be back to school.He'll be the one to pay for my schooling & send me allowances too.
I asked him why he didnt refuse to it & he said "well..u said youre bored here & u want to go to school so go then" .I know i cant stop u coz from the time we got married you always want to do your thing". He said hes not angry & its alright.

I really want to go to school again coz i want to have some skills.Its like i want to be prepared if something bad happen to our marriage in the future.Im already 29 & soon ill be 30/We still have n o baby so i thought ill just go back to school & do something good w my life.
What do u think of my plans? Am i being too selfish,doin my own thing & leaving my husband here.We are in Asia & i know that if he likes to see me he'll just take a plane for 4 hrs. & we'll see each other.Please help ! I need your advice. Ive been calling my mom to go to the school back home & make an inquiry about what i need to bring or requirements for my chosen course.
Do u think im not allowed to this (schooling) anymore coz im already married?
Is computer course an in demand course & useful in the future?

thankyou & ill be waiting so much for your replies.

Sincerely,midnight

 
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Old 10-23-2005, 04:54 PM   #2
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stacykgb20 HB User
Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

Hi Midnight!

I think this is such a great idea and I'm so happy that your husband agreed to it! You are very wise to want to be independent and able to support yourself and also to better your education. It's also really smart to study computers, which will help you get an in-demand job and be successful should you choose to work in that field. You seem happy about the possibility, so why not go? There is no reason to feel guilty for doing something that will be good for you in a number of ways, especially if your husband is being supportive and encouraging (that makes me like him, by the way). If you want to go back to school, then you should go and enjoy it! There's absolutely no reason for you to deny yourself the opportunity or feel bad for leaving temporarily--won't it be nice to be around your family again too? I wish you all the best!

 
Old 10-23-2005, 05:18 PM   #3
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Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

Quote:
Originally Posted by stacykgb20
Hi Midnight!

I think this is such a great idea and I'm so happy that your husband agreed to it! You are very wise to want to be independent and able to support yourself and also to better your education. It's also really smart to study computers, which will help you get an in-demand job and be successful should you choose to work in that field. You seem happy about the possibility, so why not go? There is no reason to feel guilty for doing something that will be good for you in a number of ways, especially if your husband is being supportive and encouraging (that makes me like him, by the way). If you want to go back to school, then you should go and enjoy it! There's absolutely no reason for you to deny yourself the opportunity or feel bad for leaving temporarily--won't it be nice to be around your family again too? I wish you all the best!

thankyou so much stacky!

I am really happy that he agreed to it & that i can be back to school & be with my family back home.Dya think Computer or BS Information Technology is a good course? I am poor in mathematics eversince & i dont know if this course is right for me.I just learn how to use the computer here in our house coz we have it.And all i can do is browsing the internet,typing (not the educated way) like one finger at a time...
Im just thinking of this course coz everbody uses computer nowadays & i thought this is in demand if id like to go to work someday.do u think its not too late for me coz ill be 30 next yr.? Old??
My husband will be the one to support me & send me allowance.
Im so happy & cant sleep coz im excited about it.I just hope its enrollment already.Im happy too that ill be in school in my own country but sometimes i feel its not right coz im married already & we'll be far from each other.Hes a busy husband/man coz he owns a smal company & he said its really alright if i go back.

PLs. give me any comments again stacky .thanku for being there.

 
Old 10-23-2005, 05:42 PM   #4
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goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

Midnight ~ I also think it's great that you are going to further your education. It is even greater that you have a husband that understands this need in you and is supportive of it. Many women I know have children & then discover that they regret not having done so before having a family.

I am sure that your husband wants you to be happy and you shouldn't be feeling guilty that he loves you enough to send you back home to do this fory yourself.

I think it is defintiely wise that you strengthen your computer skills. That way when you return to Asia you may even find a part time job to utilize your skills in as well.

So when do you leave??? You must be so excited and I know that you must be feeeling happier than you have in quite sometime. Being away from your home and family is bad enough....going back to school will allow you to return with an education that you can use in a job that will make you feel happier and more confident within yourself. That is extremely important and ou have a wonderful husband who knows this too.

We are happy to share in your happiness ~ Goody

 
Old 10-23-2005, 06:15 PM   #5
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midblue_alone HB User
Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

thankyou so much fo your comments.I really appreciate it.
I just called my father back home & theyre so happy to know that ill be goin back to school.Although,my father is being manipulative again that maybe i should just get the course in Nursing than Computer coz they said its very well in demand in our country & around the globe.
I want nursing too but i thought Computer is good as well. The school that i would be entering has a trimestral ..The next enrollment would be on the first week of November & the next semester would be on January.This is the Computer Course & i like the new course which is BS Information Technology.Are there any people here who knows the course? what is this all about & is it really good & useful ?
If i would go for Nursing course probably the enrollment would be on June.I already want to go to school as soon as I can ,to go home & start something w/ my life. My stepsister said that Bs Information Technology is a good / new course & i would finish it in only 3 and half yrs. coz the school is Tri-Sem.And maybe they would credit my subjects b4 when went to college 9 7rs. ago.
Now,Im confuse if i should just take Nursing than Computer.My father said Nursing is better.I want the two courses but of course i only have to choose one.
What dya think guys?If I choose Computer i can start soon & its a new course.Have you heard about it??
Please guide me and if u know some facts about it,share it pls.

Sincerely,Midnight..

 
Old 10-23-2005, 06:17 PM   #6
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midblue_alone HB User
Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

P.S.

whats the in-demand courses lately???

 
Old 10-23-2005, 06:59 PM   #7
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Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

When you say course, do you mean that you're trying to decide between computers, information technology, and nursing as your major field of study? I think that you would be able to get a good job if you studied any of these subjects, so my advice would be to pick what you like best. You are probably not stuck permanently with whatever course you choose at the start of returning to school--if you decide after a few classes or a trimester that you would rather study something different, it is not too hard to switch. With all due respect to your dad, this is not his decision, and he has no right to tell you what to do...I also believe that your other thread said that he was unemployed, living off your money, and wasting all his money on gambling and drinking, so please don't take career advice from someone who obviously knows next to nothing about successful careers. I know that men are used to making decisions in some cultures, but your father should respect you enough to let you make your own choices and just be grateful you are supporting his lifestyle so he can afford not to work at all. I don't mean to be rude, so please don't be offended, I only think that you should do what YOU want and not have anyone criticize your choices. I think that you should ignore what he says and pick whatever you most want to study based on what you think would be most interesting and what kind of job you would like best when you finish college. You are clearly really smart and capable of planning a great future for yourself, and I have no doubt that you will be able to tackle whatever classes you select and do very well no matter what. They should start teaching you from the beginning no matter what courses you take, and while computer science has some math, probably more than nursing, there's no reason why you can't learn that and thrive in that field.

I also suggest that you call the school and ask them about the credits you have from attending college in the past--there is a chance they could give you credit for them at the new school as well if you fill out the right papers and have someone at your new school helping you figure out exactly how to get your credits counted there. It would be good to talk to someone there who is involved in things like transferring credits and selecting classes so that you could ask all your questions to one person and have someone there looking out for you and making sure everything you need to do to get started is all taken care of. You sound like an incredibly sweet woman who is very smart and motivated, and I hope you realize how brave and wise you are being by going back to school and challenging yourself to learn a new field. No matter what happens in the future with your family and career, I'm sure you won't ever regret having had this chance to be independent and focused on learning and improving your knowledge and job skills. It's great to be able to find a good job whenever you might need one, and you will always be able to support yourself comfortably if necessary once you finish school. Please don't think you are too old--there are tons of people who go back to school when they are even older than you are and start new academic programs and careers from nothing! You are ahead of a lot of people because you have attended college in the past and hopefully at least some of those courses will count at your new school so you can save time and money without having to repeat any classes. Finally, I would suggest making sure you take full advantage of everything your college has to offer--they may have a very nice athletic facility, a great library with books to read for school and pleasure, different clubs or groups you might want to join to meet people and have fun, or classes that you might take because they are interesting or helpful even if they are not required for your major course of study. College is a wonderful experience, and I'm sure you will make the most of all the opportunities it offers and succeed completely in making friends, being happy and well-rounded, and learning everything you need to know to have a great career. I am really excited for you and have faith that no matter what you decide to focus your studies on, you will do great work and make your teachers very happy (they also get happy and want to give you extra help if you go visit them in their offices; this was one of the best bits of advice I learned from college). I hope you like the classes you take and if you don't, please try something different rather than going on being unhappy and dissatisfied with the material you are learning. I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding something you love to study if you give it some time and please don't be shy about asking administration/admissions staff or professors for advice and help whenever you could use some. Good luck and congratulations again midnight! We are very proud of you and looking forward to hearing how everything goes for you!

 
Old 10-23-2005, 10:05 PM   #8
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Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

thankyou guys for your support & for being happy for me. ..One question,if i take the course of BS Information Technology,what dya think is the job that ill be having in the future??Do u think this course is useful and in demand? Do u know any good courses for me to consider?

thankyou so much

 
Old 10-23-2005, 10:24 PM   #9
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stacykgb20 HB User
Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

Will you tell us what you mean by a course? In English that generally refers to a single class you take, and usually you take 3-5 per grading period while in college. I don't really understand what you are saying about courses...

 
Old 10-24-2005, 11:47 PM   #10
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midblue_alone HB User
Re: Confuse ! If i should go back to school while im bored with my marriage...

Quote:
Originally Posted by stacykgb20
Will you tell us what you mean by a course? In English that generally refers to a single class you take, and usually you take 3-5 per grading period while in college. I don't really understand what you are saying about courses...
HI there ! what i meant is ...the qualification or type of studies in College e.g. Bachelor in Business Management,Bachelor in Education etc....

I was planning to take up BS in Information Technology but now im thinking that maybe i should just stay here with my husband...My friends were advising me that its so sad & they feel pity for my husband coz i would leave him here for my own selfishness.They said...i am already married & i should be with my husband.They said im just bored w/my life thats why i think like goin back to school.They even said,i should stop thinking only about myself,but also try to think about my husbands feelings...They were like ..what kind of marriage is that?? u in your own country & your husband here in his country.

Also i asked my husband if he can really support me with my studies,support my father's monthly food allowance & my mom& coz i was doin that b4 but if id go home & be back to school he'll be the one to do it all.He's also paying for our monthly loan in our house.He was like ....so whats goin to happen to me,how would i eat if i send all this money to u? I feel pity for him when he said that but i felt dissapointed coz i already planned to go to school. If i go to school i wont have that much vacation in one year coz its a trimestral school.If he would come & visit me in my country of course itll be expensive too..plane tickets etc....

My friends said maybe your bored coz u dont have a child yet so better start making one...They said im already lucky enough for my husbands kindness that whatever i whatever i want i would get it most of the time & that i should be thankful.They were like ..why do u have to go back to school???What are u goin to do after u graduated ?Are ugoin to work ??& i said maybe no but I just want sellf fulfillment that i have a degree & if something bad happens i can go to work..

So now im more confuse...I told my husband that i wont go & he said well...i think we can fix the problem about the money matters & he said "U like to go to school right so its okey that u go...Its like he doesnt want me to change my mind about it,its like he thinks i should really go ...What will i do?All of my friends didnt agree w/ the idea of me goin back to school.

HELP...thankyou always...

 
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