I am posting a question since I know there are a few out there!!
Say You are clearly a very good looking woman. Do you find it hard to find and keep a good guy?
I have known a few stunning girls in my life -whom i wasn't involved with, and there does seem to be this thing about them reeeeeeaaally struggling to find and keep a guy. I don't think this is anything that they are doing wrong its just a/ guys can get so overawed at knowing and being close to such a lovely person physically and emotionally that they 'become unstable' and b/ a woman like this will always wonder -given the endless hype about men wanting only one thing- whether he is simply with her for her looks?? don;t suppose we could ever answer this but i don;t think it is true really. If anything a good looking girl has the advantage in that she 'turn over' more dates than another. Have to learn to pick hey?
i suppose it's true since you'll find a few on this board. i find it amazing and confusing since i'd just assume that they had tons of guys approach them and all they had to do was go out with a few and see which one(s) they like the best. you'd think they always have options. i say this because everytime i've approached a hot chick, she would always have that, "oh boy, here we go again", look on her face as if it happens every single day followed by the routine answer "i have a bf". but, now i come to these boards and find out that that is not the case and i really can't figure it out. either of several things must be happening: 1. only guys in my area do the approaching; 2. these women who can' find men stay at home and hide under their beds all day; 3. they are extremely picky; 4. there's something wrong with these women; 5. life doesn't make any sense.. go figure.
There's no question that a very attractive woman has an advantage, not just in dating but even in the work world. But if a really good looking woman has a hard time attracting a man or keeping him, it could be for a number of reasons. Maybe she's really picky and figures that because she's so much better looking than most women, she can get away with having really high standards. I think we all knew girls like that in high school. Or maybe she ends up with guys who are really just with her for her looks and since they're that shallow, they're more likely to take off once the next really attractive woman enters the picture. Another potential reason is that a lot of these really attractive women (not all, but a lot) tend have an attitude like "I know I'm hot" and maybe some guys just get turned off, no matter how attractive she may be. I know I can't stand really beautiful woman who think they're the stuff. It could be a combination of all these things.
With 52% of marriages ending in divorce, the majority involving infidelity, it is difficult for EVERYONE. Relationships only concern looks during the very first phase...if women cannot keep a man around after that period it is due to a different factor than her looks.
I agree, Donuts. It's mainly the attitude of some of these hot women that gets the best of them when it comes to dating. It's also the type of men they seek out and that seem to be attracted to them. There are lots of guys walking around out there looking for a hot girl to have sex with... and not much more than that. And when you combine a man with the attitude "I'm so hot I can get the hottest girl in here to sleep with me" with a woman who's attitude is "I love all this attention I'm getting from this hot guy", then there's bound to be trouble! I think what I'm trying to say is that the problem these people are faced with is not their looks: it's their self-serving and ego-centric attitude. And you don't have to be good looking to have one of those.
LittleRose, I couldn't agree more. I think the rest of us who may not be in that top 10% of attractiveness focus on other things, like personality and just being a good person. I also think that as we get older, we look past looks more and more. When you're young, you're like most people and are drawn to the really attractive people and I hate to say it, ignore the people who look average or below average. But then you get older and you realize you may have missed out. That woman you met at work or at a party that you didn't bother to talk to cause she wasn't as beautiful as her friend might've been someone perfect for you. And then by the time you open your eyes and notice what a good person she is, you discover she's already taken. So in a way, those of us who didn't strike it rich in the looks department may be lucky. Cause we might have something more to offer than looks. And I have to wonder about those people who get together just because they're both really good looking. What's going to happen when their looks fade? Oh that's right. The woman will run to the plastic surgeon and marry Ashton Kutcher and the man will use his money to attract Catherine Zeta-Jones.
I think a lot of really good looking women depend too much on their looks to attract and keep a man. It doesn't work that way. They may initially attract lots of eligible men, but looks alone cannot keep a man interested. I think what really keeps a man interested is a woman's "essence" and you don't have to be beautiful physically to have a beautiful "essence" about you.
The woman will run to the plastic surgeon and marry Ashton Kutcher and the man will use his money to attract Catherine Zeta-Jones.
HAHAHA! Good one!
I definitely think that many very attractive people let vanity get in the way, and that's what the problem is. So many aspects of their lives exist on the surface level. Then again, I don't want to generalize. Plenty of attractive people don't let vanity overcome them! Some don't even think they're all that good looking!
I think that if highly attractive women are having trouble hanging on to a guy, then the best thing for them to do is some soul-searching. They need to look in places other than the mirror in order to find the answers to their problems. They will come to learn that although looks CAN get you places in life, they ultimately won't make you happy.
It's harder for good looking women. Know why? Because the ones who don't believe we're already taken, think that it's so easy for us we can be either stupid, arrogant or lazy because we can rely on our looks to get what we want.
It's harder for good looking women. Know why? Because the ones who don't believe we're already taken, think that it's so easy for us we can be either stupid, arrogant or lazy because we can rely on our looks to get what we want.
Yes that's true! And sadly it works both ways too. Personally, I am not even remotely attracted to guys the world would consider "very good looking". I am much more attracted to 8's and 9's than perfect 10's. I'm simply not interested in those good looking types because I form the immediate assumption in my head that they are pigs or "players". I know it's wrong to jump to that conclusion, but in all honesty that is what I do. Maybe guys have the same mindset about really attractive females. They associate them with players or cheaters or heartbreakers.
I wish I could change how I feel about this matter, but there's never any glimmer of attraction whatsoever on my part towards them. It takes so much more than good looks to spark my interest. But as soon as I found the one who stole my affection, I know that there's not a being on Earth more attractive than him!
It's harder for good looking women. Know why? Because the ones who don't believe we're already taken, think that it's so easy for us we can be either stupid, arrogant or lazy because we can rely on our looks to get what we want.
OR...we think that YOU think that we are not good enough for you regardless of whether or not WE think that we're good enough..ok, my fingers are tied now..
OR...we think that YOU think that we are not good enough for you regardless of whether or not WE think that we're good enough..ok, my fingers are tied now..
That's the same thinking that leads you to believe we live off our looks. Hence you don't approach us, leaving the ones, who have the guts to do so, to do it. Whether they are the nice ones or not. So some women will aproach the men, knowing the men won't approach them. Then you say we're arrogant or concieted or tramps, to do so, because we have the looks to get away with it. We can't win, with your type, so why even try?
I think that a problem for some really pretty women is that they get the idea that all they HAVE to do is be attractive, and that's it. That is how I saw it when I was younger, about 18-21. I was pretty much the equivalent of scenery whenever I was in a room, because I just sat around and thought looking hot was all I needed to do. I didn't have much of a personality or anything interesting to say. There were plenty of guys lined up who wanted to sleep with me, but that was about it. I saw these girls who in my mind were unattractive who had serious boyfriends and it baffled me, but after I matured a little bit I realized they had strong personalities, a good sense of humor, and were FUN to be around. Not to mention the fact that everyone has a different idea of beauty anyway, and I think all women are beautiful in some way.
If you keep advertising your physical attributes above all else, then I think that is what will attract guys to you. But I think you'll attract more quality men by dressing modestly and showing off your sparkling personality and wit. I'm really glad I'm not 18 anymore!
(I'm not saying ALL attractive women are shallow...just giving my experience)
That's the same thinking that leads you to believe we live off our looks. Hence you don't approach us, leaving the ones, who have the guts to do so, to do it.
actually i have approached you (well not YOU ) and most of you seem really irritated and give off the impression like it happens all the time and that you're tired of it. if all the girls have done this to me why should i keep doing it?? sometimes we get burnt out ya' know. there's only so much, "i have a bf" or "i have a chicago area code so i can't give you my number", sob stories that we can take before inductive logic takes over.
lol - the chicago area code? I have never heard of that one!
I think good looking women do struggle. I have met a lot of gorgeous jaw-dropping babes, my my, they were a piece of work alright. The problem with a lot of them was they just lacked personality. They knew they were beautiful and they were just extremely arrogant. They got a lot of dates and ALOT of sex - but they never had a serious guy.
I have had a lot of good looking men come up to me and GENERALLY, it was all about sex. In highschool and college, I used to pay attention only to the hot guys - they were cool, sexy and charming. They just had this effect and it was great. In the end, it was all about sex. It really made me angry because I know I had personality and none of these guys bothered to KNOW me.
I had a guy who was a really close friend. He was not 'hot' but he had charm. He was the sweet and funny type and I really enjoyed his company. I soon realized that I was falling for him! He became my first serious boyfriend and it lasted for a long time!
I think good looking women struggle to find a guy who would sincerely care about them and want to be with them because of their PERSONALITY. Most of the men they will meet are just after the SEX. Especially when you are younger, Its a lot like that. "she is really hot" - does not usually equal to "I want to have a serious relationship with her"
A close guy friend told me that most guys think shes hot HENCE I would love to hump her.
lol - the chicago area code? I have never heard of that one!
i was confused by this too we had just spent the whole time in the club making out and i asked for her number 'cause i "wanted to get to know her better". stupid me. after that experience i had completely given up on the concept of GF.
Many woman who are single and having difficulty finding a partner, will say "but i"m so pretty". Takes more than that.
It's not simple for anyone anymore. But even if someone is pretty, smart, a nice person, a good conversationalist, etc., it still takes more, I agree: It takes some LUCK at finding the RIGHT person. Just because someone is not conventionally "pretty" doesn't make them automatically a great person with a well rounded personality, either. It's not always either looks OR personality. It's NOT so black and white.
Just because someone is not conventionally "pretty" doesn't make them automatically a great person with a well rounded personality, either. It's not always either looks OR personality. It's NOT so black and white.
i know!! i think sometimes hot chicks get a bad deal in that everyone automatically assumes they are bitchy..although most are but you really can't assume. and the not so cute girls get the benefit of the doubt..everyone seems to think they are nice. i've met some really mean "not so cute" girls and their attitude makes them ugly.
What a strange thread! I think people of all types have problems meeting people. I think people here represent a whole spectrum, and we're all here because of having some king of problem, right? Being able to attract a lot of men doesn't mean you'll end up with the right one. Instead, it increases the likelihood that you'll end up with one who's pursuing you regardless of the kind of person you are, not because of it.
SmileMan
go figure.
there's only so much, "i have a bf" or "i have a chicago area code so i can't give you my number", sob stories that we can take before inductive logic takes over. 
