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Old 11-14-2005, 03:55 PM   #1
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moonstruckgrl HB User
Behaviour at work

Lately I've been hearing a lot that I am "pushy" and I need to be more humble etc.
I have just learned to "fight" for myself the last little while and I guess it seems to be going out of control and what I perceive is giving/trying my best, people call pushy and feel uncomfortable with.
How can I see myself - the way I act - and censor myself, before I loose my job?
I have a very dominant personallity, there's no doubt and I just got a new job. I think the people that work there are feeling uncomfortable with it and are reporting to the boss. Meanwhile, all along I was just trying to be a "hard worker" and prove to my boss that I am worthy to keep around. I have worked in the particular field for long years, so I don't need much training and I already know how to do a lot of the things. Perhaps it's not expected of a newcomer to "not have to be trained". I don't know, I'm lost....
This is proving to be a very difficult year for me - separated from husband, moved twice, changed jobs and a whole lot of stress. I think I may have put myself in sort of a "soldier" mode to be able to get myself through this all and it seems to be catching up with me. Please, what to do?

 
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Old 11-14-2005, 04:08 PM   #2
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dewdrop333 HB User
Re: Behaviour at work

I too have a strong personality .. what I have found works for me at work .. is simply saying please and thank you.

If you are 'asking' someone to do something for you .. get you a report .. send an email whatever ... rather than stating the fact that this needs to be done .. IE: We/You need to call John and set an appointment for a review of his ... I say .. Oh Mary could you please call John, we need to get his appointment moved to review ... thanks so much.

I have found that just by chaning the way I said things ... people thought I was nicer. Also, little things like saying goodmorning .. asking what people did over the weekend .. very light small chit chat in passing can make people warm up to you.

It is a good thing to be perseived as a hard worker .. but people at a new job dont particularly want some new girl coming in running the show. People have been there longer than you and have their own way of doing things.

If there are changes to be made .. even if you arent asking for permission .. discuss them with people in your department ... IE: Oh I was thinking of putting all of the supplies in the other room, it is much closer to the people that use them what do you think..

I have no idea what field you work in .. but this has worked for me .. good luck to you!
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Old 11-15-2005, 11:07 AM   #3
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moonstruckgrl HB User
Re: Behaviour at work

Hi Dewdrop!
I work in retail. I have worked in retail for about 7 years. I think where the offence has happened was that after working there for 3 days, this girl shows up one day and starts bossing everybody around. We weren't introduced and I didn't know who she was, but I didn't like her attitude at all! Even before she started bossing me.
She turned out to be some sort of manager and she was training someone that day and accused me, that I was supposed to be there an hour earlier. Meanwhile, I agreed with the boss that it's ok, b/c he has trained me already. She was doing all this in a very "power-trip" sort of manner and didn't say who she was or what was her position and I hate that!
So I told her that I don't need anymore training and I think she got offended or something. I think she may have felt threatened.
Yes, I guess it's a good thing to be more humble when you're new somewhere. I wasn't even thinking about that, because I was focusing on my sales.
I don't boss people around and I do all of those nice gestures that you mention, but I'm just not very submissinve and senior people dislike that.
I am not meant to work "under" somebody, because I often figure out things faster than people that have worked there for a while and I feel held back, if I have to do it the "wrong" way just to please their rank.

 
Old 11-15-2005, 11:21 AM   #4
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dewdrop333 HB User
Re: Behaviour at work

Well, in that case .. If she was 'showing you' how to do something .. I would watch her or whatever then say oh yes, Bob (the other manager) showed me how to do that, Im good thanks.

It probably is a teritorial thing ....

I dont consider myself a behind kisser or anything but I like to asert myself quietly .. you get more flies with honey and all that.
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Old 11-15-2005, 06:06 PM   #5
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CFD 333 HB User
Re: Behaviour at work

Moonstruckgrl, I've worked in retail nearly all my days as the lowest man on the poll to the top dog...I've seen it all from all sides. I sympathize with you deeply as it can be a living hell dealing with people all day long. Most of the customers aren't going to be nice to you and most of the workers don't even want to be there in the first place. Those that try hardest are crapped on and those that mess around group together and stick their noses up at the hard workers...seen it all and done it all!

The best advice I can give you about your current situation is this...You are always going to run into bosses or seniors that don't appreciate what you already know and what you can bring to the table...it's inevitable. If you think your working style really becomes a problem for them, try to see things from their perspective. Its tough trying to train someone that acts like they know it all...imagine how frustrating that can be sometimes. You can try talking to them about what you know already, but be polite about it. Bosses like to feel like they are in charge even when they aren't because its feels good to be respected. It isn't butt-kissing...its just being respectful. When someone tries to tell you to do something their way, just say to yourself, "Ok, I'll be open minded and learn it there way for now, but when I'm here longer, I'm doing things my way." Always know that you won't be the lowest person in the ranks forever. Sooner or later it will be your turn to tell others what to do. Just try to be cool about dealing with others and things will be ok.

Last edited by CFD 333; 11-15-2005 at 06:30 PM.

 
Old 11-16-2005, 10:52 AM   #6
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moonstruckgrl HB User
Re: Behaviour at work

Thanks guys, for the answers.
Although I wasn't aware that I was snooty about knowing what I know and i wasn't trying to implement that anything is done my way, it may have came across like that to them.
I do think it's a territory and power thing, as you guys said.
The owner of the store didn't even care as much as that girl. I've worked there a few days before without a problem, but on the day she was there, I felt a weird atmosphere. I think she told on me to him.
It's really pretty ridiculous when somebody runs to the boss, for such an insignificant thing.
I think that I honestly FORGOT to pay respect to workers that have been there longer, because I was just trying to make good sales and proove myself. I wasn't sharking or anything like that, but I was so intensely focusing on what I was doing, that those kind of detail passed by me.
Well, it's another lesson in life....

 
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