i meet this guy at my grandparents 50th ann. even before i knew him i thought he was realllly hot but he was my cousin so i guess i didnt think anymore about it. he asked for my number. we hanged out that night we hit it off reallllly good--we even started figuring how we are related he figured that we are related only by marriage no blood relation. so weve been together for awhile now in the begin ing my mom didnt care about us and then i started talking about it with her and she freaked on me saying that its incest and she doesnt approve. so since that i stopped talking about him but we still were together and everything but just tonight i brought it up to my mom that we are together and she started freaking saying that its incest and what not. and hung up on me when i talked to him just a little while ago i asked again how we are related exactly because i dont get this kind of stuff and i guess he though that we were married into the family! but were not and thats whats scarying me because i thought he knew for sure that we were not blood related or anything and now it sounds like he doesnt even know and im really scared to find out that he is becuse i reallllly love this guy. and he really loves me. i just dont know what to do about this whole situation so if someone could really help me out that would be so awsome. sorry if i didnt make this really clear im just so rushy right now..
There's nothing wrong with dating your cousin. There's no chance really of any birth defects(.01%) and it's even legal to marry your first cousin in many states. Double first cousins are a different matter. They are closer to being brother/sister than anything else. That's never right. If you're religious, the Bible in no way condemns cousins marrying and in fact incourages it. I base my morals on the Bible and the law. Neither of those say it's incest. So do what your heart says to do. I have always wondered where the prohibition on marrying cousins came from. I can't find any basis for it anywhere.
I understand your worries, and I can go both ways on this issue. If it was me, and I really was in love, I would let go of all my reservations if I found out we were only related by marriage. If we were blood related, I don't know. I would probably feel the same way you do- very torn. Although everyone has a point that it's not even considered incest according to the Bible and some state laws, I would have to feel good about it in order to make a relationship work.
I suggest you find out how you are related. Can you ask your mother? Do you know his mother? Is she your aunt? Find a way to answer this question. It's not important just for the sake of the law or your mother, but it's important to YOU to have it answered.