CFD 333

Lololol, I've been in almost your exact shoes my friend. I met my first girlfriend when I was 18 and she was pretty much my first EVERYTHING...unfortunately for me, I wasn't her first boyfriend or sexual partner. At first, this disturbed me a lot...For the longest time I had no idea why it bothered me so much, but the conclusions that I was finally able to reach was that it had a lot to do with me wanting someone with a similar past as mine.

For example, if you don't have kids, you may not want to date a girl with kids...if you haven't been married, you may not want a woman who has been married...Similarly, if you haven't had a girlfriend before and haven't been with someone else, you would prefer that your girl hasn't either. What its about really is wanting to be on the same page about things...share things together...go through some of the most important parts of your lives together without her seemingly being a step ahead of you all the time.

Now, when you are constantly asking her a lot of questions about it to her, its because of morbid curiousity...simply put, you don't want to know, but you just HAVE to know. Its like driving by a car accident when you just can't help but look even though you might see some people seriously hurt. In your case and in mine, your thoughts have become obssesed with this because you just can't imagine the thought that your girl was with others before you. Don't worry though, its completely normal to feel the way you do about it as long as you realize a few important things...

1.) She didn't know she was going to meet someone like you.

2.) She wasn't born on the day you met her; she dated others because thats what people do.

3.) What she did in her past with others was not meant as a slap in the face to you and wasn't done to hurt you.

4.) She didn't cheat on you with them even though it can mysteriously feel like she did because the mind can play tricks on us.

5.) You have to trust her for who she is with you now.

With that said, I can tell from your previous post that this girl really cares for you and when she cries about it, its because she feels bad that you are upset. She doesn't want you to leave her because of this and is willing to work things out with you to try and make you feel better. She seems very patient and very concerned and respectful of your feelings. Trust me when I tell you that you've got a really good girl on your hands...we all should be as lucky as you are.

The only cure I had found for myself was to eventually force myself to stop bringing it up and making it into a bigger problem than it has to be. Eventually, I realized that my mind was playing tricks on me and that I needed time to mature, put myself in other's shoes, and just grow out of it. Truly, for me it was a part of growing up and learning something about how life works and that we often don't fall in love with and marry the first person we have any kind of relationship with...it just isn't how life works a lot of times. Sooner or later, you'll realize this and can move on...hopefully this will happen before you lose this absolute sweetheart you have on your hands...don't let her go or you'll be sorry you did.