Now I really think I am crazy
I really think I made a mistake when I got married. Before I got married, I had left my husband at one point because he didn't have anything good going on in his life so I told him he had to get it together. We got back together 1 month later (WAY too soon) and less than 2 years later, we got married. Now I think I made a BIG mistake. When we had broken up the first time, I started seeing my ex-boyfriend and realized then that he may be my soulmate, but then I thought I was just falling into his arms b/c of everything that was wrong in my relationship. So I got back together with my boyfriend and never again spoke or saw my ex-boyfriend. Now, I find out that my husband was talking to another woman since May and I believe they slept together. And I am in a destructive mode...I don't care what he is feeling. All I care about is the fact that I think I married the wrong man.
The crazy thing is...I have never stopped thinking about my ex-boyfriend even after I got married. I found myself doing a lot of comparing. The two of them are very different and life with each of them would be very different What I like about my ex is that he is traditional...he wants to take care of his woman, is a gentleman, is extremely family-oriented, etc. My husband, on the other hand, is a little selfish and wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to doit. Over the past 3 years, I usually only think of the ex when we strugle with ou marriage and I wonder if that is because I married the wrong man. I called the ex this morning and after talking for a little while, he told me he was married and I was completely heartbroken. Why though? I let him go and got married and so he did the same. I TRULY think he is my soulmate as crazy as it sounds. What do I do? How do I get him out of my head?