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Old 12-06-2005, 05:39 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverton, Oregon for the time being
Posts: 20
whiteswan HB User
Unhappy Whats the difference in loving someone and actually being in love?

Hey, im 18. I use to be with this boyfriend and we were together for almost two years. Even though im young, we had a kid together. I really did love him, but not anymore. He ended up leaving us and I ended up getting together with my best friend that ive known my whole life. Though he is quite older than me, at 24, we still have about the same maturity level. Since I was a little girl, and throughout my life, Ive wanted to be with this person. But when I was younger, I knew there was no chance. I came to find out, later, that he liked me too. Now about 18 years later (ive known him my whole life) we are together. I have always wanted to be with him and now i finallly am. Its like a dream come true. But, the problem is, I dont know what to think. About love that is. Whats really the difference between LOVING a partner and being IN LOVE with a partner? Im confuzed, because I dont know if this is real love, or if its just that i was use to loving my ex-partner for so long that its easy to love THIS man. I dont know if im just crazy about the guy or actually in love. We are engagged, with no planned date, but I need to figure this out before time. Please, can anyone help me?

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Old 12-06-2005, 05:50 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 194
SweetHome HB User
Re: Whats the difference in loving someone and actually being in love?

I don't think that there is an actual difference in being in love and loving someone. I do think that there is a different kinds of love though. Love for family, for friends and for lovers.

You are asking good questions. However, you are the only one who can answer them. If I was you, I would think about the same questions on a 'forever and ever' basis. Can I feel this way about this man for the rest of my life? Can he love me, respect me and raise my child the way I need? Will the needs of my child be met?

What is it that you want? Can he meet those needs?

You have a lot of thinking and feeling to do. I wish you the best. You seem to be going in the right direction... please don't marry this man until you are sure.

Old 12-06-2005, 06:33 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverton, Oregon for the time being
Posts: 20
whiteswan HB User
Re: Whats the difference in loving someone and actually being in love?

Thank you for your input, Sweethome. Ive thought about all that. I even thought once that he was going to breakup with me and i started to get wtery eyes but he was so not even going in that direction. Yes i will love him forever, im not really hesitant to marry him. I see my self with him for the rest of my life. Him and my son love eachother dearly. He helps me out with my son as well. The only thing i would be unsure about is that he might not ever make enough money. But im no gold digger. I dont really care about money. So far weve never gone without food and our bills have always been paid. (about the pills being paid, we live with his dad for the time being. he pays for it. we normally pay for eveything else. Like food, with foodstamps card) Anyways, i do love him. And he makes me soo unbelievably happy, most of the time.

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