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Old 12-12-2005, 09:06 AM   #1
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100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

Ugh... Ok, I'm about to just give up. This girl I like. I'm always... always... nice with her. I have NEVER insulted her. I only compliment her from time to time. when she doubts of herself I tell her she can do it. When she tells me someone insults her physically, I tell her she IS cute, and that they're all liars... She is cute. Yet... it's like I NEVER feel appreciated. All that help, those acts, those compliments. She NEVER said thank you. She never stopped to think and tell me how nice I was. Heck once I told her she's cute she told me "shut up" because she thought i was just "being mannered, you never thought I was cute, so shush" ... And now she's telling me of this guy that likes her, but she doesnt like him, but she feels bad because according to her "he's the most nicest guy ever" and she feels so bad she might be starting to love him im almost positive...

I don't understand... I can't be any nicer. I just feel like turning into an evil person. Because all my efforts to cherish her presence and show her I appreciate her, are for nothing. I thought it was because girls prefer bad guys, although after they cry rivers when their "bad guys" rape/beat them and give them the hardest time at home. But nope, she seems attracted to that guy because he's the "nicest guy ever" and "hes the guy that loved her the most.." and that she "feels so bad..." and "he did so much for me"

I say bullcrap. I'm tired of being nice and never get appreciated... It's not like I'm an evil person with a nice-person nice. The REAL me IS nice. I'm a very nice person. Lots of people tell me. What does she think of me? Not nice enough?! I'm just a nice friend that can be used to copy undone homework at the last minute? What the heck...

 
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Old 12-12-2005, 10:56 AM   #2
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

You need to forget this girl....period. PLEASE don't change yourself because you're not getting noticed. There are plenty of girls who love nice guys, I'm living proof. She has self esteem issues and trust me hun, you can't cure them.

 
Old 12-12-2005, 12:45 PM   #3
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

It sounds like this girl has really bad self-esteem. Whenever you compliment her and she says you're lying or just being polite, she just wants you to keep on assuring her. It is not that you're not enough, SHE will never be able to think enough her HERSELF. Whenever she complains again, try to tell her that the only opinion that should matter is her own, and she shouldn't worry about what others are thinking. But there really is nothing you can do about it, it's her issue.

 
Old 12-12-2005, 01:41 PM   #4
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Hiya HB User
Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

The other posters are right on the money. When someone has that hard a time taking a compliment, it's because of a personal self esteem or some other issue of theirs. Don't let it become your problem, because it isn't. This girl I'm sure is nice, and cute and all that, but she's just not the one for you. It's not because you're doing something wrong, it's just the way things go down sometimes.

 
Old 12-12-2005, 02:13 PM   #5
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

I agree 100% with Hiya on this.

Last edited by stacykgb20; 12-13-2005 at 05:23 AM.

 
Old 12-12-2005, 07:34 PM   #6
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

Ugh. You know what.. you talk as if she's some kind of monster. First, I haven't even tried to tell her i like her yet. Secondly, im under 18, im still an "immature teen dude" or whatever you adults like to call us. Always the same depressing answers I get here. You know what? This time I'll do it my way. Only my way. She deserves better judgement, and im sure deep inside she feels good about herself. I know this may sound weird / reckless / stupid ( heck once someone said it made me sound like some sacrificing character in some novel, so YAYYYYYYY! )

I'll do whatever I please. If I have to take a dive into the bowels of hell, then so be it. I shall take the plunge. If I am wrong then I shall bathe in remorse and mistakes for years to come. And learn. I control my life completely. It's time for me to let go and say "Meh?! What the heck."

For a blue and pure world!!!

/cheers

P.S.: Bet you all going "oh noes! poor guy! you idiot!" Guess what I don't care anymore. I'M A PROUD IMMATURE TEEN! LONG LIVE MY YOUTH! Time to poke fun with anything around meh! Booyah!

P.S.2: Thanks everyone nonetheless. You have triggered a transformation. No. Perhaps a freedom I had longed to taste. To express. I am me. I will be me. I shall. Always.

Last edited by dstalker3; 12-12-2005 at 07:36 PM.

 
Old 12-12-2005, 08:14 PM   #7
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

Stacey go easy - he is still a kid...

 
Old 12-12-2005, 08:17 PM   #8
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

hey 100% nice guy, I was thinking that the first posts were good and I think what happened was that long post and it was a lecture and everything rolled into one, just ignore that but I will ask you not to say you should go evil, you are 18 or younger and I believe you really like this girl and as you say its up to you what you do but there are going to be lots of other cute girls that will be falling over you so what I mean is "this is the time of your life" so enjoy it and use little bits of wisdom and I wish you the best, I think you are 150% nice.

 
Old 12-12-2005, 08:19 PM   #9
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

LOL - that was one heck of a response dstalker. I replied to your post - Teen Health - to save you the time, I basically said the same thing. This girl may not like you the same way you do, but she definitely likes the attention you are giving her.

Quote:
It sounds like this girl has really bad self-esteem. Whenever you compliment her and she says you're lying or just being polite, she just wants you to keep on assuring her. It is not that you're not enough, SHE will never be able to think enough her HERSELF. Whenever she complains again, try to tell her that the only opinion that should matter is her own, and she shouldn't worry about what others are thinking.
I agree with this. We are not trying to put this girl down - TEENAGERS IN GENERAL ARE INSECURE. You get older, you mature and your insecurity (should) gradually fade away.

Either this girl is just TOO MODEST or she just wants you too keep assuring her.

The women here - Im sure of it - have either been there, seen that or done that themselves... so its not LACK OF JUDGEMENT. But you go on and do what you like - Its better to see things for yourself.

gluck mate
keep us posted on how it goes.

Last edited by Hazel_Eyes; 12-12-2005 at 08:23 PM.

 
Old 12-13-2005, 05:22 AM   #10
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

I don't really understand why you guys are criticizing me for providing my opinions and advice--isn't that what this board is for, offering different points of view and agreeing to disagree when someone's reply doesn't mesh with someone else's opinion? I do understand why people might not agree with the points I was making, which is good because it provokes debate and provides a variety of opinions for the thread-starter to choose from, but I donít get why people are offended by what was a sincere attempt to be helpful. Well it doesnít matter; I didnít mean to offend anyone and Iíll remove my post in case it came across as insincere and/or offensive. Dstalker, as I said before, I wish you luck and hope you realize that I posted with good intentions and only trying to help...I certainly didn't mean to make you mad or characterize the girl as a monster. It's completely natural and understandable to go ahead and do whatever you want anyway after seeking advice, though for the record, I'm always baffled when people post on an advice board and then seem upset and/or angry when they don't get the specific response they later reveal that they were looking for from someone. Again, it seems to me like the whole point of these boards is to get a bunch of different perspectives so if that's not what you're looking for, then it makes sense to let everyone know upfront, before people take the time to reply and express their opinions, that you arenít seeking any advice other than what youíd decided and planned to do all along. Again, that's only my opinion and all I really wanted to say is that I didnít mean to make anyone angryÖtake care everyone.

 
Old 12-13-2005, 05:42 AM   #11
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

I dont think your post was offensive stacey - I was just kidding when I said go easy on him. Your response was really indepth. Im not trying to insult his intelligence or anything, but you have to admit he cannot understand what you really mean. Its kindda like writing that email to my 14 year old cousin - they do not FULLY understand mainly because they are still young.

I think what you said was great stace. I love reading your replies. You know exactly WHAT to say and HOW to say it... Dstalker wanted an opnion, and you gave yours. Its either they accept it or not. Everyone -pretty much - said the same thing. Dont apologize girl~

Last edited by Hazel_Eyes; 12-13-2005 at 05:43 AM.

 
Old 12-13-2005, 06:00 AM   #12
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

Stace, I didn't get to read your post, I wish you had left it up I agree with you about when people seek out advice just to get upset with you when you give it.... very strange. What a waste of time.

 
Old 12-13-2005, 06:16 AM   #13
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

Quote:
You know those times when you feel like you keep screwing up over and over without meaning to and that you can't do anything right or well?
Yep... that feeling sounds familiar. It does ring a bell - lol

Well Im glad I have helped. I do mean what I say Stace - no compliments, just the truth. You give wonderful advice!!! There was nothing wrong with what you wrote - in face I agree. Like I said, you KNOW what to say. Please do me a favor, dont let other people make you think otherwise!!!


Last edited by Hazel_Eyes; 12-13-2005 at 06:20 AM.

 
Old 12-13-2005, 06:38 AM   #14
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Re: 100% nice with her... not enough? what does she want?!

I don't see what's wrong with that post at all. You obviously have experience with the issue and you felt like you had reasonable advice to give him. If I was hurting enough to post my emotions and ask for help, it would be a blessing to receive knowledgable and first-hand advice from someone like you!! Don't let this ruin your day

 
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