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Old 12-15-2005, 10:05 PM   #1
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mada_3083 HB User
Girls, please help

Hello all. believe it or not... i am really shy.

now the girl i've posted about, i saw her again today, and we had a great time, laughting, joking etc. her body language suggested (and so did the way she was acting) that she's into me. i just don't know how to move forward, i.e. break that physical contact barrier. have to admit it, but every other girl i've had a relationship with actually initiated the touching...

any advice please?

 
Old 12-16-2005, 01:25 AM   #2
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sarakellieye HB User
Re: Girls, please help

the next time you speak why not just casually ask her would she like to go for a drink or to a movie,dont imply that its a date or anything just try to be casual like ; ''so what are you doing later, do you want to come for a drink/movie?'' and if she is interested in you, as a friend or more she will say yes or if she is busy she will probably suggest you go the next day, but if she is not interested she will make up some feeble excuse, then you will know and move on!

From what you have said it seems it will be a yes, just remember to be calm and casual about the whole thing and try to act confident( even if you are shaking like a leaf inside!! )

as for physical conact just gently touch her on the arm as you are talking or try to play fight with her, if she is intertested she will recipriocate.

Good luck!
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Last edited by sarakellieye; 12-16-2005 at 01:28 AM.

 
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Old 12-16-2005, 02:32 AM   #3
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Re: Girls, please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarakellieye
the next time you speak why not just casually ask her would she like to go for a drink or to a movie,dont imply that its a date or anything just try to be casual like ; ''so what are you doing later, do you want to come for a drink/movie?''
lol, sorry, i should have been clearer. i've already been out with her once for coffee, once for a movie, and once for drinks/ window shopping

 
Old 12-16-2005, 11:14 AM   #4
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keepsgoin HB User
Re: Girls, please help

The girl is probably starting to wonder what's wrong with her that you don't want to kiss her...ha! First you'd want to try holding her hand and if she's in to that, then a kiss is in order! If she doesn't want to hold your hand then you know she's wanting only a friendship.
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Old 12-16-2005, 11:51 AM   #5
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GypsyArcher HB User
Re: Girls, please help

A few years ago I had this huuuge crush on a guy, and did what I could to try and pursue him. I was wondering if anything was going to happen between us, when he actually came out and said to me, ever so casually, that he was not the type to make the first move, he always let the girl do it. (Because of being shy). It was like - hint...HINT. Either way, it does sound like this girl is into you, and may be wondering why you aren't trying to take the next step. (This could also work in your favor too, as she may be delighted that you're being such a gentleman). I like keepsgoin's advice - try to start out holding her hand (maybe do it in a silly way, like you're just playing around, and if she doesn't pull away then you know you're in). I understand being shy, but sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump right in. Good luck!

 
Old 12-17-2005, 07:12 AM   #6
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Re: Girls, please help

i hear you, trust me.

biggest problem is that when we're together, i never feel like i get the chance to do anything of the sort, because we always seem to be bouncing off the walls or just being busy...

 
Old 12-17-2005, 07:17 AM   #7
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charlatans HB User
Re: Girls, please help

Stop! Dont kiss her, dont try to touch her in anyway like that. It may shock her, she might not be comfortable with it. Be safe and simply ask her out on a date, take things slow.
Good luck and let us know how you get on

 
Old 12-18-2005, 12:27 AM   #8
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Re: Girls, please help

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlatans
Stop! Dont kiss her, dont try to touch her in anyway like that. It may shock her, she might not be comfortable with it. Be safe and simply ask her out on a date, take things slow.
Good luck and let us know how you get on
er dude... already done that 4 times now.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 09:18 AM   #9
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Re: Girls, please help

k... everyone says "touch her when your speaking" etc. to break the physical contact barrier...

well, school me, how do you do that to seem natural...

 
Old 12-20-2005, 09:46 AM   #10
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dewdrop333 HB User
Re: Girls, please help

I call it the lean in and pat ... you are sitting next to her laughing or talking put your hand on her like upper arm .. like oh you are so funny (pat upper arm) ..

Or you can do the linger ... sitting next to her at coffee or whatever leave your hand very close to hers like on the table or something .. so close that you are ALMOST touching .. you can reach over and pet her hand with like one finger.

I dont know dude ... I kind of just ... well .. I am forward

Good luck!
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Old 12-20-2005, 07:55 PM   #11
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Re: Girls, please help

thanks dude, keep them coming i'm shy, but also our school (over 7 years ago, can you believe i'm that old) used to push the whole sexual harrassment thing, and i understand the difference, it's just that it's difficult not to wonder if your "crossing the line"

 
Old 12-22-2005, 09:30 AM   #12
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mada_3083 HB User
Re: Girls, please help

well it didn't work out back to the drawing board.

 
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