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Old 12-20-2005, 03:23 AM   #1
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Betty Bee HB User
Men and computer PORN

My fiance likes to look at porn on the computer. He is not a subscriber to any of the sites but is able to access clips of porn movies. I never had a problem with it before, because we have done it together in the past, and have bought a porn movie together. Recently, we had an argument about a web page he looked up. It happened to be a local girl who he use to know. It really bothered me because this is someone he use to talk to, all the other porn sites are complete strangers to him. Ever since this incident he said he would not look at porn on the computer anymore, and if he did, it would only be with me. Well, he has looked at it since then and it really bothers me. I haven't confronted him about this. My question is, why does he feel the need to look at pornography? We have a great sex life...He's definitely not deprived. What is the deal with men and porn?

 
Old 12-20-2005, 04:14 AM   #2
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mada_3083 HB User
Re: Men and computer PORN

we;revisual creatures.

you said you've done it before, you said it didn't bother you.

now you've got a jealousy issue over it. i think look at what's making you jealous about it, and work on that, instead of trying to hide that problem by making him give up porn

 
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Old 12-20-2005, 01:12 PM   #3
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Betty Bee HB User
Re: Men and computer PORN

Quote:
Originally Posted by mada_3083
we;revisual creatures.

you said you've done it before, you said it didn't bother you.

now you've got a jealousy issue over it. i think look at what's making you jealous about it, and work on that, instead of trying to hide that problem by making him give up porn




I never told him to give up porn....He actually said he would not look at it anymore. I told him I would never want him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with...I'm no trying to change him, I"m just wondering why he feels the need to look at porn on a regular basis.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 07:37 PM   #4
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Re: Men and computer PORN

Quote:
Originally Posted by Betty Bee
I never told him to give up porn....He actually said he would not look at it anymore. I told him I would never want him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with...I'm no trying to change him, I"m just wondering why he feels the need to look at porn on a regular basis.
best bet is he just enjoys it... like watching sport, or anything else, it doesn't mean he loves you any less, or finds you less attractive, it's just another passtime to undertake

 
Old 12-20-2005, 07:43 PM   #5
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SomeRandomDude HB User
Re: Men and computer PORN

Guys like porn simple as that.

I'm single... have been damn near my entire life, but if I met 'the one' tonight, would I stop looking at porn? I'm not so sure..... I could likely curb it and cut back to a major degree... but far from certain I could come close to quitting altogether.

Trust me it doesn't mean he cares about you any less.. it's just like something built into our brains!

 
Old 12-20-2005, 07:49 PM   #6
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jessica129 HB User
Re: Men and computer PORN

It may sound strange, but I like to watch porn just for the entertainment value and out of boredom. My boyfriend knew about it before we were 'serious' and it didn't bother him but once we got intimate and he found out i was still watching it, he got really jealous. I just thought it was funny how the tables were turned. I can't speak for men but i watch it 100% out of boredom and to pick up a few moves. ha. I dont watch it because i'm not satisfied sexually...it's just something better than t.v.

 
Old 12-21-2005, 01:49 PM   #7
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neflin HB User
Re: Men and computer PORN

I think you should watch that cyber sex. Porn can really get out of hand and it is possible that eventually it could replace you. I am not talking about now I am talking about how things can progess. I have seen a couple of porn movies and watched my husband go bananas over them.

We have enough going between us to mess around with this.

Last edited by neflin; 12-21-2005 at 01:54 PM.

 
Old 12-21-2005, 05:24 PM   #8
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Men and computer PORN

Well, I think most men watch porn--it's just a matter of degree. As I got older and wiser, I don't think it would bother me so much anymore unless it was some kind of an addiction that got out of hand. If it doesn't take away from your own time together and sexual enjoyment, then I wouldn't really worry about it. While I dislike porn for ethical reasons (I think most of the female porn stars have/had really tragic and screwed-up lives and I just feel sorry for them), I can understand the appeal of it, in moderate doses. My friend, who is married, said the same thing. Her husband is literally the "perfect" guy who would do anything for her. I was kind of surprised when she told me he watches porn from time to time and downloads it from the computer too. They have a great marriage, so it has nothing to do with her. She just accepts it as part of the "marriage deal" and since he doesn't cheat on her and treats her like gold otherwise, she let's him do his thing. Now, I think my ex-fiance never watched ANY porn in the time we were together (over 4 years and living together). He was much older than me, though, so maybe he got it out of his system by then He said he used to watch it as a teenager and in his 20s, but then lost any desire to watch it. We had a great sex life too. But, I don't think he was typical by any means. Bottom line is, can you live with it or not? If overall your relationship is wonderful and you are happy with him, except for the occasional porn thing, I would let it go. I think there are no perfect men out there. I would rather my husband watched porn in moderation than cheat on me, or flirt with women in real life, or drink to excess, or put me down, had a violent temper, or was an impotent--you know what I mean. Men seem to ALL have some kind of issues. We always will have to put up with SOMETHING, so overall, I would think it's a relatively ok thing to have to deal with. Let's be realistic.

Last edited by SophiaM; 12-21-2005 at 05:34 PM.

 
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