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Old 12-20-2005, 10:23 AM   #1
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my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

My husband using shrink which is not just money waste but creating problems for me. When I wanted to have a child, she said that he rather participate in big brother program and because of her kids she can't travel as much as she would like. I had to have a fight to have a baby. Then she said that first trimester I should take it easy, which I couldn't possibly do and my doctor said that I can do as much as I can handle. Now when we thinking of 2nd baby, she is again talking how much it would cost. Every little thing instead of discussing with me he first discusses with her. When we are shopping for the house she came out with theory that he is leaving in a box, buy smaller house than build an addition. I don't find it any useful. I found myself very irritable every time I know he goes to her.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 01:30 PM   #2
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

Quote:
Originally Posted by galinaqt
My husband using shrink which is not just money waste but creating problems for me. When I wanted to have a child, she said that he rather participate in big brother program and because of her kids she can't travel as much as she would like. I had to have a fight to have a baby. Then she said that first trimester I should take it easy, which I couldn't possibly do and my doctor said that I can do as much as I can handle. Now when we thinking of 2nd baby, she is again talking how much it would cost. Every little thing instead of discussing with me he first discusses with her. When we are shopping for the house she came out with theory that he is leaving in a box, buy smaller house than build an addition. I don't find it any useful. I found myself very irritable every time I know he goes to her.
It seems your husband sees a therapist who gives advice that goes against what you feel would be in the best interest of your family and your family life? Can I ask what he sees her for? Does he have a specific problem, like depression, OCD, that he sees her for, or is she a marriage counselor of some kind? Do you ever go to the sessions with him? I don't understand what his shrink is doing telling him what you should be doing during your pregnancy, when that is primarily between you and your OB/GYN. Is there any way you can get more involved in his therapy and come to some sort of compromise?

 
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Old 12-20-2005, 01:39 PM   #3
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

He thinks that he has a depression and he needs somebody who can listen and give objective advice. I never go to sessions with him or get involved, he started seeing her long before he knew me.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 01:57 PM   #4
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

Quote:
Originally Posted by galinaqt
He thinks that he has a depression and he needs somebody who can listen and give objective advice. I never go to sessions with him or get involved, he started seeing her long before he knew me.
You don't believe he suffers from depression? Is he taking any kind of medication for it?

 
Old 12-20-2005, 02:54 PM   #5
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

He doesn't take any medications. Sometimes he has mental blocks is hard for him to do anything but then he get over it. I am not a specialist I don't know.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 03:06 PM   #6
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

Quote:
Originally Posted by galinaqt
He doesn't take any medications. Sometimes he has mental blocks is hard for him to do anything but then he get over it. I am not a specialist I don't know.
If he has depression so badly that he has periods where he is paralyzed to the point where he can't do anything, I'm not sure why he's not on some kind of meds, most doctors would at least want to try something, but perhaps you could ask him if you could sit in on a session or two so you can get a better picture of what goes on and how you fit in his treatment.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 06:00 PM   #7
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

He tried medications but he decided that he is better without it, just talking helps him. I would afraid of that kind of medications myself. It is not really the point, I don't like how this shrink influence him, I don't believe she would follow her advices herself.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 06:07 PM   #8
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

How do you know the shrink is really saying this stuff to him?

 
Old 12-20-2005, 06:09 PM   #9
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

He told me himself that she said it.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 06:13 PM   #10
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

Exactly, maybe he's the one who doesn't want to have kids and is telling you she said it to take it off of him.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 06:17 PM   #11
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

I am pretty sure he didn't make it up.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 06:23 PM   #12
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

Why don't you look at their etiquiette (spelling) and see what they have to follow by. I am pretty sure they can not tell someone what to do. I don't think she would give him advice like this with a chance of getting her license taken away. It's patient confidentuality but you can call her and leave a message for her to call you OR EVEN BETTER, go sit in and ask her right in front of him WHY she said such things. IF she did let her know you will be letting the board know of her requests. Good luck

 
Old 12-20-2005, 06:32 PM   #13
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

I am tried shrinks two times, shouting, insulting, telling what to do seems pretty normal. Insurance don't have any responsobility. I complained at first one and insurance person said that they would investigate and result they can't tell me anyway. Overall it is your word against there's and they are very good with talking. I don't have time and energy to fight them.

 
Old 12-20-2005, 06:35 PM   #14
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Re: my husband going to shrink make me unhappy

There doesn't have to be any fighting, you can file a complaint on line. Insurance doesn't have anything to do with their ethics but the board does. I think your husband is pulling one over on you. Why don't you go sit in again and bring your concerns up instead of stewing over it day after day?

 
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