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Old 12-22-2005, 06:40 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 248
Baylee Bianca HB User
Goody a update

Goody and all who remember my past threads seeking help and advice, First Kelly, has moved back home. Still struggling with some issues with her though. Long story short : She quit her job when Rachel was kicked out by her mom and they went off to another state to live with Rachels dad. Well, after about two weeks Kelly, had enough and called for us to come get her. We did the next night and she is now safe and at home. Here is the problems she has made no effort since being back " 9 days now " to find a new job and her willingness " sp ?" to help around the house is still not there. In the 9 days she has been home she has did 1 load of dishes and cooked dinner twice. Any suggestions how to motivate her without causing her to get mad and try moving again ?

Things with my husband are alot better. He was just starting to feel ill on my last post. Since then he has been to the ER,family doc's , test run,. He was very very ill for a few weeks most they found was a gall stone but, he is feeling much better now and his attitude has been alot better torwards me. Feeling pretty good that everything is going so good. Thank you to Goody and everyone who helped me through the ruff times with such great advice and support.

Baylee

 
Old 12-22-2005, 05:41 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York
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goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: Goody a update

Hi, Baylee I am so glad that you came back with an update.....I was wondering what was happening in your neck of the woods

I am so glad to hear that Kelly is back home with you....I am sure that you feel so much better knowing that she is safe and no longer in a dangerous place that is questionable in terms of her overall well being & safety. I know that was one of your greatest worries as a mom.

In terms of her not contributing to the household...it's really time you put your foot down. I think sitting down with Kelly and explaining to her that she is part of a family and that you all need to work together in order to keep the household in order. I know that you have others at home and I would suggest calling a family meeting and discuss jobs that have to be done and have everyone pick & choose the way in which they will get done and who is responsible for them. I think that it is time that Kelly is in charge of her own laundry.....she must have been doing that while living with Rachel and she should be expected to do the same. Encourage her to get a job...tell her that you are willing to pay for room & board but that her personal necessities and social life will be her expense. That means getting a job in order to pay for those things. Give her a grace period to help her out but point out to her that she is a young adult and that means having responsibilities and the such. It is imperative that you guide Kelly towards independence....so long as you keep doing things for her and don't insist on her living up to her responsibilities in the household, the less she will be prepared to live independently in the future.

Kids who work for things and who are taught responsibility are so much more appreciative of things in the future. Do not be afraid of Kelly wanting to move out.....she is lucky to have a place to stay that is safe with no cost to her in terms of rent and food. The alternative would mean going out to find a job that pays enough to pay rent and buy her groceries....and she will have to do her own dishes and laundry too!!!

It's time for Kelly to know what is expected of her and to learn to be a responsible young adult. You can point her in that direction and she will be happy that you were determined enough to guide her towards independence.

I am also glad to hear that things are better with your husband. I have a feeling that this holiday season is going to have alot for you to celebrate.

Thanks for the update and hope that your holiday weekend is one filled with much love & happiness.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody

 
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Old 12-23-2005, 05:05 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 248
Baylee Bianca HB User
Re: Goody a update

Thank you Goody as always such great advice. You hit the nail on the button about Kelly, doing for herself at Rachel's house. Kelly, told me this is why Rachel's mom kicked her out is because Rachel was doing nothing to help around the house. Kelly, told me she was doing all the dishes, laundry, babysitting Rachel's younger brother etc... So I agree with you that she can do her own laundry here as well. My husband picked her up a application at the store down the road which is hiring. She seemed happy and filled the application out and plans to turn it in today. I like your idea about the list and after christmas I will make this list and let them pick and share the chores. I am just so happy to have her home and knowing she is safe. It will definatly make the holidays more cheerful and bright. I will keep you updated on how things are going.

Merry christmas to you and you family. Baylee

 
Old 01-04-2006, 09:40 AM   #4
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 5,813
goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: Goody a update

Hi, Baylee Just bumping this up to see how the holidays went and to wish you & your family a Happy New Year!! Hope all is well with Kelly....does she have a job and is she contributing a little more to the household???

I sure hope that next time you post that it is "good news".

((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody

 
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