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Old 12-22-2005, 06:44 PM   #1
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degen95 HB User
attraction

we've been through the discussion before about the type of person you're attracted to (tall, short, thin, etc..) but i'm interested more in the psychology behind attraction. i was talking about this with a friend and i also read somewhere that people are attracted to people with whom they have common physical traits.

do you agree with this?? i think there is some truth. most people stick to their own race outside of the abberations here and there and i've also seen couples that literally "look alike" as if they're related (this one gets me..its hard enough to find someone, how these people find someone that "looks like them" is beyond me.. ). then again i've seen the opposite of this. i'm personally attracted to women that have similar characteristics as the women in my family (women in my family are on the attractive side so i guess me being picky isn't my fault ).

what do you guys think?? are you attracted to men/women that look similar to the men/women in your own family or do you have a "type" that is completely independent?? or does this not make any sense??

(i'm talking only about physical attraction, not who you eventually end up with which could be totally different based on the other important factors..personality, common interests, etc..).

Last edited by degen95; 12-22-2005 at 06:46 PM.

 
Old 12-22-2005, 06:56 PM   #2
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SophiaM HB User
Re: attraction

Hmm, I think I read something about that too that people are subconsciously attracted to someone who looks like them. Nothing could be further from the truth in my own case, though. I have fair skin and blue eyes, but ever since I remember, I've always been attracted to men with olive skin dark hair. I guess the only "similar" thing that I find attractive in the opposite sex is being tall and lean. I don't like stocky men with tons of muscles in weird places. Also, it might sound ridiculous, but I like men who have long fingers, which is also something similar to me. Short, stubby fingers turn me off. Now, this is purely illogical, so I hope nobody takes any offense to this. It is the "ideal" anyway, and I've been in love with a short guy too, but never with a fair-skinned blonde guy. No idea why. So, what type of girl do you usually go crazy for, Degen?

 
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Old 12-22-2005, 06:58 PM   #3
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Fabat40 HB User
Re: attraction

Great question!

I'm attracted to the "George Clooney" looking type

OOOhhh, be still my beating heart!
.

Last edited by Fabat40; 12-22-2005 at 06:59 PM.

 
Old 12-22-2005, 07:05 PM   #4
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Soulcatcher HB User
Re: attraction

You know when I was younger I had the ideal man that I wanted. He was going to be tall, green eyes and sandy blond hair and we were going to be so in love. Little did I know until recently that the man of my dreams turned out to be my son. He is exactly what I wanted. He's only five and one day I was thinking about the man I thought I would grow old with and it was funny to see I had just described my son and that was before I ever met him. lol I thought it was pretty cool. I married a tall man with green eyes but he has salt and pepper hair. We do not look anything alike.
I think you fall in love with someone because you see yourself in that person or you see what you want to become.

 
Old 12-22-2005, 07:22 PM   #5
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Re: attraction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fabat40
Great question!

I'm attracted to the "George Clooney" looking type

OOOhhh, be still my beating heart!
.
Haha--who isn't?

To be honest, though, George Clooney does nothing for me. Neither does Brad Pitt. I'm weird. Most actors don't. Except, I fell in love at first sight with the British actor Andrew Lincoln when I saw him in "Love Actually" (he played Mark)! He is just absolutely gorgeous, I think. Now, most people probably never even heard of him.

 
Old 12-22-2005, 07:48 PM   #6
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Re: attraction

degen95

I don't think people are attracted to people who look like them. If that were true, then why would anyone date outside of their own race? Interracial dating is fairly common these days. I personally am attracted to all types of women. Short or tall, thin or curvy, black or white, young or older, etc. If there's one thing they all had in common, it's that they looked healthy. A lot of it is biological. Men are attracted to women who they think will produce healthy offspring and be able to love and nurture them. That's the biologist's answer. The sociologist's answer is that a lot of what you find attractive has been conditioned by your environment. What we find physically attractive in western culture is vastly different than what people on the other side of the world would find appealing. So if there's a certain type of person you're drawn to, ask yourself it's because of what your friends and family have influenced you to think. The other thing I've learned about physical attraction is that it can change over time. I've met plenty of women who I didn't find attractive at first, but as I got to know them and discovered I liked them for who they were, sometimes (though not always) they would become more attractive to me even though they looked no different than when I met them.

 
Old 12-22-2005, 08:04 PM   #7
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Re: attraction

I think Brendan Frasier is hot! But would not turn away Orlando Bloom or George Clooney either. Ohhhh and who's that bad boy.....ummmm I think he's Irish? John Travolta is pretty sexy too. I think there are bits and pieces of each and everybody that is sexy if you get to know them. I personally don't like hairy backs and pimples. I hate ugly feet and people who cuss alot. Is that too much info? hahahaThis is a funny topic.

 
Old 12-22-2005, 08:37 PM   #8
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degen95 HB User
Re: attraction

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
So, what type of girl do you usually go crazy for, Degen?
well, my fair skin, blue eyed, blonde haired cyberfriend, i seem to go for taller women, 5'6 and up, slim or slightly chubby (weird, huh?) but not both, cute small butt, small facial features (small lips, small nose), short or long hair, depending...i'm confused this one girl i have a mad crush on is short, 5'2 or so, long dark blonde hair, big blue eyes, i have no idea why i like her.

i really really like scarlett johansson and i was drooling throughout "The Island". then there's rachel mcadams, girl next door look which is always appealing. and i really really LOVE charlotte on your favorite show. these women look nothing like the women in my family but i like them anyway.

Last edited by degen95; 12-22-2005 at 08:46 PM.

 
Old 12-22-2005, 08:38 PM   #9
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degen95 HB User
Re: attraction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulcatcher
Ohhhh and who's that bad boy.....ummmm I think he's Irish?
colin farrel (sp?)

 
Old 12-22-2005, 08:40 PM   #10
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degen95 HB User
Re: attraction

Quote:
Originally Posted by OutToLunch
degen95

I don't think people are attracted to people who look like them. If that were true, then why would anyone date outside of their own race? Interracial dating is fairly common these days. I personally am attracted to all types of women. Short or tall, thin or curvy, black or white, young or older, etc. If there's one thing they all had in common, it's that they looked healthy. A lot of it is biological. Men are attracted to women who they think will produce healthy offspring and be able to love and nurture them. That's the biologist's answer. The sociologist's answer is that a lot of what you find attractive has been conditioned by your environment. What we find physically attractive in western culture is vastly different than what people on the other side of the world would find appealing. So if there's a certain type of person you're drawn to, ask yourself it's because of what your friends and family have influenced you to think. The other thing I've learned about physical attraction is that it can change over time. I've met plenty of women who I didn't find attractive at first, but as I got to know them and discovered I liked them for who they were, sometimes (though not always) they would become more attractive to me even though they looked no different than when I met them.
i agree with this.

 
Old 12-23-2005, 02:31 AM   #11
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Re: attraction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulcatcher
. Ohhhh and who's that bad boy.....ummmm I think he's Irish?
Charlie Sheen

 
Old 12-26-2005, 06:04 PM   #12
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tillwemeetagain HB User
Re: attraction

I just read this article today and find it quite related to this topic:

"When we see people with similar facial features as our own, it builds trust and not lust, report the BBC News and the Telegraph of research from psychologists at the United Kingdom universities of St. Andrews and Aberdeen. But when it comes to sexual attraction and lust, we tend to seek those whose faces are very different from our own."

Very true on my part.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 06:15 PM   #13
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Soulcatcher HB User
Re: attraction

Colin Ferel is who I was thinking of. Yes I would spank him! hahahaha

 
Old 12-26-2005, 06:15 PM   #14
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Hiya HB User
Re: attraction

I think there is some truth to this. Perhaps to make sure we don't unwittingly mate with wayward or unknown family members?? eewww....

Anyway, I think we may also be attracted to people who remind us of something nice in our youth. I have no idea why, but I'm a sucker for striaght, think black hair and fair skin, English features, always have been, ever since I was five years old and I fell in love with Donny Osmond and Jack Wild, who don't look anything like me or anyone in my family. The only time in my life I fell in love for real was with a guy who looked a lot like Paul McCartney, who I always loved, but his hair wasn't as black. But he was tall and thin, with pinched, very English looking features.

 
Old 12-27-2005, 07:22 AM   #15
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laurie864bla HB User
Re: attraction

Interesting question...

I definitely am not attracted to people who look like me, altho I have never dated outside my race. The one thing that stands out for me would be eyes. Very pretty blue or green and light eyes always get a second look from me, which your post made me go hmmmmmmmm, cuz I have dark brown eyes that I find bla. Interesting.

I also never like a small or turned up nose on a guy....kinda weird. I just find it sorta feminine which is ridiculous and I don't know why I feel that way. My nose is kinda small and feminine...hmmmm.

Also very into eye contact initially, smell and voice. A deep voice right off the bat to me is very attractive. Scent is huge for me--a great smelling guy can become ten times more attractive to me.

Some of these things are like me, but some are not. Interesting post....makes me think.

 
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