It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-26-2005, 09:13 AM   #1
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 56
Ken-Y HB User
Back together (how can I get an answer?)

So I had dumped this girl I was dating after about 2 weeks but I had known her for a long time about 2 years actually. I had alot of stuff going on and some things came up that made me want to change my mind about not getting back with her. So I decided that I wanted to get back together with her and discussed this with her. It was only a week or so ago that I dumped her and I was talking to her and brought up the subject of us trying this out again because I regret breaking up with her and was just really stressed out and didnt know how things were going to work. At the time she said she didnt know what to say and said that she would have to write me about it or something later. So I figured ok and left it at that because she was about to go out or something.

So last night this girl from my work had some people over at her house. She ended up showing up there and everything seemed cool. We would play around and talk trash to each other and flirt alot. I thought after we were leaving that everything was cool, I mean come on, we flirted alot talked like everything was good I figured she would want to do this again. So I had to drive her back home because they had to pick her up before because she didnt have a car. When we were driving she kept messing with me while I was driving and flirting around alot again. We laughed alot and it all seemed good again. So when we got to her house and I pulled up and we talked for a quick second or so before she started to get out and I asked her about what I asked her the other night and what she thought. I guess she was kind of mad because I had dumped her before and now all of a sudden I want to try again is what she seemed like when she was telling me. I asked her to hear me out and everything and she just said ill call you when I get back upstairs.

So im driving and she calls me again. I was telling her about everything that she wouldnt let me tell her when she started to go upstairs. Her answer again...."I dont know". Then she just started talking again like we were cool again. This annoyed me to no end. She seemed mad about me asking her about getting back together and then she just acts cool and talks to me like nothing happened. We talked for about an hour and I mentioned that I just would really like some straight answer about this. Before we hung up I had told her that and she said that she would think about it. Great, here we go again. I understand its my fault because I had broken up with her before but all I want is a straight answer about all this. It seemed good and we flirted alot again and now she says I dont know and ill think about it. It just kind of irritates me and I feel like I am never going to get an answer from this girl. I dont want to keep bothering her about it everytime we talk because I figure that she will just say no if I bother her but how can I get an answer out of this girl. I dont know how much time to give her and I dont think she would bring something like that up again. I would have to do it. I just feel like she isnt going to ever give me a straight answer. I dont know if theres some trick or something to try and get her to at least hint at wanting to try it again or some way to bring it up without asking her directly. I told her i understand if you dont want to try again and she said " i didnt say I didnt want to". She just simply said I dont know and ill think about it but its annoying that she wont give me an answer and it kills me just sitting here wondering if shes ever going to give me some straight answer. We flirted alot last night and talked like everything was good so it pointed more in the direction that she does and thats what I thought she would say but then she pulls this 360 on me and says I dont know ill have to think about it...again for the 2nd time. How can I get an answer from her

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 12-26-2005, 09:41 AM   #2
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,776
greeneyes100 HB User
Re: Back together (how can I get an answer?)

It sounds like she needs time to think about it, just like she says. So, just wait it out. Don't call her anymore. I think she probably will get in touch with you. She sounds like she is still angry and is afraid to trust you again. Give her a chance to get over the anger. It may take some time. From what you have posted, it sounds like she does like you. All you can now is be very, very patient.

I have had men do that to me; one of them was sincere the last time he came back and wanted me to move in with him and the whole nine yards. But I was so fed up with his leaving and coming back that I just did not feel the same way when he finally did want to make a commitment. Our relationship was on and off for 3 years though, so the scenario is a little different. We would date for awhile and then go back out and date others, then he would call again and the whole thing would start over. I think the only reason I was able to deal with it at the time is because I wasn't quite ready for commitment myself and enjoyed being single.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 09:51 AM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,413
cookiepls HB User
Re: Back together (how can I get an answer?)

I agree with Greeneyes. This girl sounds like she's been hurt by you, but still likes you a lot. I know if I were in her shoes, I'd be hesitant about giving a quick answer too. I hope you won't pressure her too much for an answer. She has no guarantees that you won't break up with her again, or hurt her again in some other way. It's hard to win back trust once it's been broken. Good luck.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 10:08 AM   #4
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 56
Ken-Y HB User
Re: Back together (how can I get an answer?)

Thanks for the advice. I agree with what you say and I dont want to pressure her into giving me an answer because it would probably be no. Its just frustrating me wanting to be with her again and she doesnt give me an answer. I guess I do just need to give her some time.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 01:14 PM   #5
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 151
muzicman66 HB User
Re: Back together (how can I get an answer?)

Maybe you could have let her in, on what bothered you. You did know her for 2 years.
She will probably take awhile to decide. Leave it alone.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 01:39 PM   #6
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 56
Ken-Y HB User
Re: Back together (how can I get an answer?)

I want to give her time but this girl has had some issues in the past and I want to trust her and everything but I feel she doesnt want to tell me an answer because she wants to mess around with this guy before we get back together. I know its probably messed up to think this but I had posted before she was dating this black guy before me and they fooled around and apparently he was good so she wanted to go back to him but he got locked up and just got out a few days ago. I think she has been hanging out with him and its ok I guess since we arent together and she told me she saw him and everything but it hurts to think that she probably is because I want to be with her again. I hinted that if we couldnt get back together because there may be someone else then its ok and I would understand. She told me though when I didnt even ask her she said "and there is no one else if thats what your thinking". I would really like to believe her and wish it were true but my gut is telling me she wants to get with this guy at least once more before we get together again. I know we arent together so technically she has a right to do it I guess but I dont know what to think because it hurts thinkin about her just sleepin with this guy because he is good and then just getting back together with me later. I have a feeling she will say yes to trying again but I dont think before she sees this guy again. Please help I just dont know what to do

 
Old 12-26-2005, 02:56 PM   #7
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 151
muzicman66 HB User
Re: Back together (how can I get an answer?)

If this is true. Then forget her.

 
Old 12-28-2005, 12:20 PM   #8
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 109
kalbc311 HB User
Re: Back together (how can I get an answer?)

Ken-y, I am in a similar situation.. i will post it and give my opinion as well

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Getting back with an ex... BrokenReality Relationship Health 15 01-28-2010 07:57 PM
Camperboy is back! TLIF Successful (so far)! camperboy Back Problems 16 10-24-2009 03:28 AM
In alot of PAIN. Does he want me back? blue34 Relationship Health 103 09-04-2008 06:21 PM
Serious situation with break up, and confusion over getting back together. bettertimes Relationship Health 7 03-02-2008 08:37 AM
Trying to win my wife back after she filed for divorce Jim1961 Divorce & Separation 126 04-18-2007 11:46 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:16 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!