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Old 12-26-2005, 11:00 AM   #1
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Destiny79 HB User
Unhappy It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

As the song goes, it's gonna be lonely this xmas, without you to hold, it'll be lonely this xmas, lonely and cold....

I knew xmas this year would be hard. You see 2 weeks ago, the man i was seeing and had fallen in love with, just suddenly stopped calling. No calls, no texts, no nothing. Absolutely no reason either. He wont reply to my texts or emails or anything. It hurts so much and i'm crying as i write this as i just love him so much and don't want to have a life without him in it. The last time we spoke we were absolutely fine. Had a nice chat on the phone as he was working that night, and then that was it. The end. The hardest part is the not knowing. I just need to know why. The only thing i can think of is he's gone back to his ex girlfriend, and needs to totally cut himself off for me as it's the only way he can cope and try and foget about me. Yet his feelings for me were so strong, love even, so i don't know how he can manage to do this and not even ask how i am. He used to text me all day every day and phone me all the time inbetween when we met up (works away a lot) so it's so hard to just suddenly get nothing. I get delivery reports on my mobile when i text him so i no he's got his phone on as i was so worried he might have had an accident or something, or even be dead! They say what's mean to be will be, but i just can't do anything or concentrate on anything and keep crying all the time. I just miss my baby.... How can he do this to me? Am i not even worthy of an explanation? And now i'm left just waiting by the phone, hoping and praying that he will contact me eventually after he's sorted his head out. Anyone else's boyfriends just suddenly diasppeared into thin air without so much as an adios? Why has he done this? Did i really not mean as much to him as i thought i did? It's just so hard as i thought he was 'the one'. Wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, eventually get married, have kids etc. He was my sole mate. And not i'm left alone and sad at xmas, with all these blimin happy loving songs or miserable sad songs about love, and watching my parents, grandparents, friends, all kissing and hugging each other on xmas day, walking down the streets and seeing people holding hands, while i just think of my honey and wonder if he's ok and what i could have done to deserve this. Life's so unfair. I can't move on, i don't want to move on. I love him and miss him so much. How can you get over someone you're still in love with? Please help. Wouldn't be so hard if i didn't have this really strong feeling that we will still end up together. Don't believe it but i just really 'feel it' which really doesn't help me in these circumstances where it seems highly unlikely! Help!

 
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Old 12-26-2005, 11:24 AM   #2
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SophiaM HB User
Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

OMG, you poor thing! This man better be in a hospital or dead. Sorry for saying this, but if he did in fact, just poofed into thin air like this because he's a coward who has no guts to even break up with you like a man, then he's better off dead. Is this the first time something like this happened? If so, I would definitely try to get in touch with someone who knows him like a friend or a family memeber, just to be 100% sure that nothing bad happened to him. I would probably even go over to his house--I mean, it's better to know for sure what happened. However, if he did in fact disappear on you because he no longer wants to be with you, he would be the biggest scum on earth and you should have nothing to do with him. Find out what the situation is first, then proceed from there.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 11:31 AM   #3
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muzicman66 HB User
Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

It is a fact that many men do end a relationship at this time of year for reasons to numerous to mention. How mant woman have posted, the guy their seeing wants to "take a break" or is unavailable till after New Year"s. Unfortunately, many woman would rather buy the excuse instead of seeing the reality.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 11:48 AM   #4
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Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

Quote:
Originally Posted by muzicman66
It is a fact that many men do end a relationship at this time of year for reasons to numerous to mention. How mant woman have posted, the guy their seeing wants to "take a break" or is unavailable till after New Year"s. Unfortunately, many woman would rather buy the excuse instead of seeing the reality.
Well, it's one thing to end a realationship around the time of the holidays, or take a break, however lowly that is, and another to just disappear without a word! How would you classify that? Is there even an appropriate word for that in the slang vocabulary??

 
Old 12-26-2005, 11:57 AM   #5
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Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

near enough the same just happened to me with a girl. Ruins Christmas and hurts like hell, doesn't it? when you get so close and so used to hearing off of somebody, then nothing at all. You're stuck with a giant void and wish there was a quick fix but there's nothing. Someone is being really good to me, getting me out, keeping me occupied, deep down though you just want things to go back how they were or at least know why. I've had relationships end before but when you're so happy one minute then something like this happens it never fails to knock you sideways.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 11:59 AM   #6
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muzicman66 HB User
Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

Some men are cowards about saying goodbye. At first, It usually happens for a nite or a weekend. Then eventually for awhile or permanently. Most usually come back when they feel alone or guilty. In the long term. When one starts this trend, move on.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 12:35 PM   #7
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Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

Quote:
Originally Posted by muzicman66
Some men are cowards about saying goodbye. At first, It usually happens for a nite or a weekend. Then eventually for awhile or permanently. Most usually come back when they feel alone or guilty. In the long term. When one starts this trend, move on.
I agree. If someone doesn't have it in them to "do the right thing" the first time, chances are extremely slim they will improve in the future. Even a "break-up letter" would have been better than this. It's really the lowest, most hurtful thing someone can do to their partner, whom they claimed to "love." BS.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 01:09 PM   #8
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muzicman66 HB User
Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

Actually, I"ve had two women break up by a letter. I think that"s the same cowardly act.

 
Old 12-26-2005, 05:36 PM   #9
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Hiya HB User
Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

Quote:
Originally Posted by muzicman66
Actually, I"ve had two women break up by a letter. I think that"s the same cowardly act.
Generally, anything less than face to face can be cowardly, though I broke with the ex with a letter, but only because I was crying so hard I knew there was no way I'd be able to carry on a coherent conversation. I did it because I knew it was what he really wanted, but we got back together a week later. I wish we hadn't.

But yes, sometimes men just disappear without a word or a trace. If you at all connected to a family member or friends of his, I'm pretty sure one of them would let you know if he were hurt, in the hospital, or God forbid, up and died for some reason. Unless you hear from one of them, I'd just assume he wanted to move on and was too gutless to even tell you, and do your very best to move on and forget him as best you can. Yes, you deserved an explanation, a conversation, a decent ending that honored what you had with this man. Of course you did. The fact that he didn't give it to you isn't so much a reflection on you as it is on him. It's goign to be hard, but you can get through this. Feel free to vent here and get good support if you need it.

 
Old 12-28-2005, 10:28 PM   #10
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V6 Jeep 4x4 HB User
Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

I wish I had gotten a letter. I was broken up with through a text message but I guess thats better than not hearing anything at all.
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Old 12-29-2005, 05:01 AM   #11
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Re: It's gonna be lonely this xmas....

I agree wiht Sophia - make sure he is alright. Something like this happened to a mate of mine. They were both "madly in love" then he just disappears without a trace. She tries to get a hold of him - calls him, emails him contacts his parents - nothing. (Well she didnt hear from him for 8 days straight) and her birthday was coming up...

She assumed he dumped her. She was really furious at him - she was way more angry than she was in pain. She finds him walking alone in the street two days later and she just screams at him - I mean she had the biggest fit ever. She didnt even give him a chance - she called him a scum and humiliated him in public. Turned out... one of her boyfriend's mates died. The mate who died was a rock climbing instructor (imagine mission impossible 2, tom cruise - no rope, just the chalks) this guy fell off and died.

The boyfriend heard, left the country and was there for the funeral. They were childhood friends so he helped the mom - that was her only boy. Make the long story short - she was utterly loss for words when he said "Jade, David fell off and died"

I must say - this was not your everyday situation... so just make sure before you take action

Last edited by Hazel_Eyes; 12-29-2005 at 05:02 AM.

 
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